Some dudes in Miami were doing some drug cocktail of cocaine and some new super strain of LSD.
It apparently made their organs start to burn up from the inside and their metabolism speed up to ungodly levels. So they got like... super hot, in addition to... you know... being in fucking Miami where it's only moderatly cooler than the surface of the sun. So they got naked. Then one of them decided to eat the other's face. While he was still alive. Wait... fucking what?
And a cop had to shoot him like 4 or 5 times to get him to STOP eating the other dude's face. Dude... zombie apocalypse. It's starting. And it's caused by some drug cocktail. Fuck a virus. Drugs. Bad drugs. Bad drugs mixed together in Miami and passed out at a club. I'm not shocked by this. Ravers would make sense to be the best place for the zombie plague to start. Cause... you know... why the fuck not?
This is why I only drink anymore. Because when I drink, I don't have to worry that by drinking a Guinness and then having a shot of Jaeger, I'm going to then get the urge EAT SOMEONE'S MOTHERFUCKING FACE!. The worst side-effect of them mixing is a quick boot & load. I think I can live with that.
The only place more fitting for a zombie apocalypse to start than ravers? Vegans. They go so crazy from lack of meat that they go full-on cannibal and then end up in a psychotic frenzy. Wait... oh, nevermind... that joke tells itself.
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