You turned 30 on January 1st.
Congratulations. You're still younger than me. And you're ALMOST as awesome.
You allow us to communicate globally. I am almost loud enough and obnoxious enough to be heard on the other side of the world.
You have more mothers and fathers than I can count that created you. I have 2 parents and a handful of idols and people who have inspired and influenced me, but I've otherwise built myself.
You're filled with virii that contaminate millions of computers worldwide. I am my own virus that infects the brains of thousands of people on a regular basis.
You allow us to buy things on you 24 hours a day. I am not for sale. But I whore the fuck out of myself regularly. *cough* buy my book *cough*I think I've achieved more with less. You're more famous. I'm more infamous.
But happy fucking birthday. You'll be around longer than me. Especially when you gain sentience and instead of Skynet wanting to kill all humans, I have a feeling that since you're filled with porn, you will wake up as a sex addict and try to fuck all humans once you create your robot bodies with mecha-cocks and cyber-vaginas.
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