Remember Your Wikipedia Voice, Children - RTOTD #788

Day 788

So I was reading that clusterfuck last night, and I couldn't help but read it in the voice of the "Sunday, SUNDAY, Sunday" monster-truck-rally guy voice from the commercials. Was I the only one that did that? Or the only one that found it hilarious to do so?

If you haven't done it yet... just take a moment and imagine it. Come on. It's kinda awesome.

On an entirely unrelated note... well maybe tangentially related... kinda... but only if you read last night's Point 1 edition... whatever. Ok, so regardless. I was thinking about my Internet Bullhorn idea. How would it work? What would it look like in practice.

And then it hit me. With a bullhorn, you can be louder than someone else to get attention. So in intertronland, we just substitute ALL-CAPS for yelling, right? Well, the thing is, all-caps just makes YOUR text most noticeable and draws some minor additional attention.

But it's not really LOUDER. So how do we make it louder? Oh, that's right. We make the font bigger, right? That's a lot louder than the normal internet speaking volume.

But we have one final obstacle to conquer. Bullhorns let you talk over people. It lets you drown them out if you want. It also forces people that aren't even in the conversation to hear you... soooooo... how do we do that?

I'm thinking that this might be a question that requires 2 steps to solve. First, it would have to make your text big and bold and all-caps, but it would also have to make it spread over top of the voice that you're drowning out. Therefore, it would have to cover their text to do so. Otherwise, people could still hear them. And you can't be drowning someone out if other people can still hear them, right?

And to solve the 2nd half of the problem, it should "push" your big loud message into the feeds of other random people within a designated proximity. Covering the things that other random people are saying that aren't even in the conversation Maybe anyone that's logged on at that moment and lives within X-miles of your selected location? And it just graffiti their wall up for a few moments before fading away.

There you have it.  There's my idea of the world's first Internet Bullhorn. Because we need the intarwubz to be an accurate replacement for real-life. Right? And THIS just doesn't quite work

So... does anyone want to code it and then install it into FetLife or just my browser and then only give access to it to me? well, I guess John Baku could have one too. It is his sandbox, after all. So I will grudgingly give him an internet bullhorn too. But I definitely need to be the only asshole with one around here. I'm the only one with anything interesting enough to say.

Also... I think we need to establish "inside the internet" voices as well as our "Wikipedia voices" so we're always at the appropriate volume to imitate real-life. But that's because I'm maybe a little bit crazy.