A Helpful Lifehack - RTOTD #820

Day 820

I know we all have this happen: we're out somewhere and we run into someone we know that we should know but don't really remember. They remember us. We know that we've met them before but either they didn't leave enough of an impression to bother remembering their name or we were drunk or we're just a narcissist with an antisocial personality disorder and borderline sociopathy. But I guess you'll be dealing with the first 2 options. It's ok. Not everyone can be as awesome as me.

I have a trick for this if you can't remember their name. Assuming you're actually having a conversation. My most recent encounter with this was one of those situations where we said hello/nodded at each other but didn't actually engage in a conversation. In that case, just keep walking and forget their existence again until you've got no choice but to engage them. This is always my preferred method. Complete disregard.

But the best way I've found to deal with not remembering who someone is what I call the ID Game. Steer the conversation into how well or poor that you photograph. Then break out your ID to prove the point. They'll feel obligated to do the same and you really don't give a damn about what their photo looks like. You just want to remember their name.

And maybe their address so you can stalk them later or wait outside their front door with a knife. But that's also another "me" thing. You never know when it might be helpful to know where to attack. They might eventually cross you, or say something you disagree with on the internet. In which case, you already know where to go to punch them in the mouth and break their fingers so they can't type anymore. You don't even need to challenge them to a fight over an internet disagreement. It's the ultimate sucker punch.

So there you go. Instant way to avoid that awkward situation where you need to ask someone what their name is because you couldn't be bothered to waste the grey matter remembering it.

Unless you're like me and don't really give a damn what their name is and like to point that fact out that you don't remember them because they're not important enough to be remembered. Though I'm pretty sure that's how the premise for Iron Man 3 worked. And that led to fire-breathing people that regenerate. So I'm not sure how good that works out in the long run.

Ha. Joke's on them! Good thing for me that my overall lifestyle of excess, debauchery, and belligerence is leading me towards an early grave anyway. I won't be around to deal with the fire-breathing people that are the consequences of my disregard of social norms. Like Elvis. Except probably not while sitting on the crapper.

I'll probably be in the street walking towards another bar.