Random Thought Of The Day #463

Day 463

I think we all learned a valuable lesson yesterday evening...

Trying to sound really smart when you write something is just about the most certain way to end up looking like an idiot. For at least 3 reasons:

First, there's a fine line between "eloquent" and "wordy". Far, far, far too often, people cross that line.

Don't... Just. Don't.

When you feel compelled to add that 37th preposition into your diatribe about how "oh-so-Domly" you are, or the "depths of your submission", just maybe hold back a little. Not everyone is a poet. Not everyone is fucking Wordsworth. Sorry. You're not. I KNOW I'm not.

Unless what you're writing is obviously meant to be in jest, just maybe try speaking a little more... down to Earth. It helps keep whatever you have to say from crossing into that far-too-easily-reached groan-inducing territory.

Secondly, you're going almost inevitably end up with redundency or oxymorons. That's kind of the "tell" that you're really not that good. So instead of appearing deep, you just end up appearing pretentious. Well, maybe "appearing" isn't the right word. More like... proving your pretentiousness.

Third, using a lot of big words doesn't prove eloquence, it proves a big vocabulary that you don't necessarily know how to use properly. Or it proves access to a thesaurus or google. You can use a shitload of big words and not say a fucking thing.



Wordiest Tramp Stamp EVER!

 There's a paradox to vocabulary in that way. I'm pretty sure we have a President that's really good at that right now. The previous idiot to hold that office sounded like a retarded chimp when he opened his mouth, but you pretty much knew what he was talking about. This idiot sounds like a dictionary but you feel like you've just been fucked in the temporal lobe by a 14 inch dildo when he stops talking and are then compelled to scream at the television "what the fuck are you talking about?". That's the difference.

I blame "Words With Friends".

But we all learned another lesson... I have a tendency of  being that guy that will just say what everyone else is thinking about but is too polite to say until someone else says it first. One of these days, I might actually care if I piss someone off. But I do kinda pick easy targets. I might wanna consider developing a brain-mouth filter at some point. But I doubt it.



He's cuter than you. A lot cuter.



Though I think that the reaction most people seem to have to what I have to say proves that I should totally run for political office. Instead of trying to come up with a platform or something, I'd just point at the other guy/girl/thing/animal/plant and go "what the fuck is that? Are you looking at that? LOOK!" to all the crazy shit that they say and appeal to the common sense of the voting public. That would totally be my campaign strategy.

Have we really had anyone run for office that was an unapologetic asshole? I should totally be the President. I'll make my dog the VP. He's kinda awesome. And then when I inevitably get assassinated, he'd totally make for an awesome President. As long as he gets to take his toys when he goes outside to play on the White House lawn.