Random Thought Of The Day #470

Day 470

Holy shit man. I need some fucking rope practice.

I'm so out of practice right now that I couldn't make a rope ring thru a hole I drilled thru one of the floor beams in my basement last week. I'm not joking. I stood there and fucked around with this stupid rope for like 20 minutes and felt so retarded that I just finally gave up and put the climbing straps back up.

I wasn't planning to use the rope ring for anything. I just got the urge to play with rope and, as I'm presently not really seeking a play partner or even a practice rope bunny, I'm just screwing around on my own. And I realized how badly my, admittedly mediocre, rope skills had deteriorated in just a few months.

I know... it's like riding a bike. Gimme a day or so of fucking around with rope again and I'll be back to before and probably have figured out a couple other things at the same time. In fact, I think I just figured out what I did wrong with the rope ring while I was sitting here writing this, but still... I couldn't believe how quickly I went from "hey, I can suspend you without killing you or entirely cutting off circulation to your left arm" to... "you might want to have a trampoline under you while I'm working... and make sure my knife is sharp enough to slice thru the rope in 1 stroke before I even look at the rope".

It's kinda sad.

Oh damn... I just found this and I totally want this in my yard!!! Fuck a pool, I want this shit!

Tell me that's not fucking awesome. Inground trampoline? That would be like 27 kinds of awesome. Plus... I'd laugh my balls off the first time someone jumps on it while one of the dogs was standing on it and they went flying up in the air.

I googled trampoline to find an amusing trampoline picture for the last bad joke & came up with this. Come on... tell me who would NOT want one of these? And I bet you don't even need to have one of those stupid cage/net - thing around the trampoline if it's inground.

Those stupid trampoline cage/net things are stupid. What fun is that? If you can't fall and somehow go from standing straight up to landing on the top of your head from only a 3 foot fall, what fun is anything? Fuck that... live dangerously... jump on a trampoline without a cage.

And ride a bike without a helmet. Fuck helmets. Helmets are for football & hockey players and that one kid you went to school with that sometimes would throw a fit and beat their head against the water fountain. The people that actually need it.

If you need a helmet for a recreational activity though? Don't. Just, don't.

Then again, I know why most of the bicycle peole wear them... because they're idiots. They demand that us normal people in cars share the road, yet they never stop at fucking stop signs, rarely signal, change lanes and cross streets without any thought to traffic & generally do everything in their power to make me hit them with my motherfucking car! And then they throw a temper tantrum if, while on a road with a 30 mph speed limit and they're riding in the middle of the god damn lane, I honk at them for riding their stupid bicycle at 9 miles per hour.

Fuck you, bicycle idiots. I'm gonna start hitting you assholes. Give me the finger when you're in a bodycast, jerkass.

But I guess you need a helmet to protect that brain that you don't use while operating your stupid rolling human hamster wheel.

Assholes.