RTOTD #500.1 - Classic Re-Post Edition

Day 500.1

Day 31

Dear Great Pumpkin,

As your spirit is to Halloween what Santa Clause is to Christmas, I have decided that you are obligated to give me gifts as well. I believe that most people will agree with me on this subject and they will reply below.

As such, here is my list of free shit you may give me:

a deathray gun

a monkey

the remote control that allows me to kill the person on tv

a teleportation device large enough to transport my car

magical powers

vodka

gold

and guns

all of these are acceptable gifts. If, by any chance, I do not receive any of these or if I get pumpkin seeds or some other such bullshit in my Jack-o-lantern hung on the mantle or placed under the pumpkin vine decorating my living room, I shall track you down, eviscerate you and bake a wonderful pie with your internal organs, or whatever that mess is.

You have been warned, Great Pumpkin. I demand free shit.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly, Neighborhood Mad Scientist

I figured... in honor of both the time of year & the Day 500 celebration, we would re-post some classic Random Thought Of The Day posts from FetLife.

Tell me which posts you think are classic & I'll re-post them.