Random Thought Of The Day #636

Day 636

How do you follow up a post where at least one of the replies was a public, albeit annonymous, proclamation of a desire get plowed like a corn field by you?

You write something entirely stuipd and pointless and probably offensive to 95% of the population.

But since I don't have anything even that interesting to write today, I'm just going to tall a story about stupid juvenile delinquency.

At one point in time, I had 12 female friends that all had names that were a variation on Christina. Different spellings, some shorter, everything from Christina to Tina and Krissi. Whatever. Apparently it's far too damn common of a name for a 2 year radius around my age. Even today, I've probably met more girls with a variation on this name than any other 2 names combined.

But so, we decided that the best way to celebrate their birthdays was with the sign from this middle-of-fucking-nowhere road, appropriately named "Christy Road". No, the road wasn't named appropriately. I mean, sure... I've met a few girls named Christy that were well-used and often travelled by different strangers as this road. But they were all strippers.  And that one bartender I knew for a few years. They were all dump truck fires of emotional baggage and daddy issues. But that's a whole other story.

No, it was appropriate for giving it to them for their respective birthdays.

So, a close friend of mine and I (and occasionally another friend) begin... borrowing... permanently... without asking... this sign for them whenever a new one would be put up and it was approaching another one of their birthdays.

Well, this worked for the first 4 or 5 time we did it. Sadly, the 6th and final time we did this, there was a minor snag in our plan.

Prior to this, we had simply climbed the pole (hehe. he said climb the pole) and when reaching the top, would grab onto the one end of the sign and hang from it. Our body weight was all it took to yank the motherfucker down. Simple. Quick. Effective. Right?

Well, this time, there was a problem. Somehow, the road crew had managed to fucking cement the god damn sign onto the pole. We were none to god damned pleased. But I would not be fucking deterred.

A 15 minute detour and a stop at home for a hacksaw and we were back. This time, instead of climbing the sign, I parked my Jeep right under the god damn sign, climbed up onto the roll bars (because I had the top down) and sat there while sawing the motherfucker off.

That'll teach those sons of bitches to try to prevent me from permanently borrowing a sign that I want.