RTOTD #746.1

Day 746.1

Oh jesus mother fucking christ. We're only in the first full week of November and I already see shit about previews for the Black Friday sales.

And Walmart is now starting Black Friday sales... at like... fucking... dinnertime on Thanksgiving. How does that even work?? That's not fucking Friday! In fact, it's about 7 hours BEFORE friday. Fuck you Walmart.

See, I once made the really stupid decision to go black friday shopping. Well, technically I went twice... but the one time was with an ex girlfriend and her family and they weren't insane about it. They were just in the spirit of Christmas.

No... one time I did actual black friday shopping... In fact, it was entirely spur of the moment.

My friends and I used to have a tradiation. We'd do our Thanksgiving stuff with family and whatnot. The usual thing that everyon does. Then, later in the evening, we would all get together and go see a movie. That's what we did. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. We would go catch a movie after spending all day with our families. Simple enough.

This year, there were no movies we actually wanted to see. So we said "fuck it, let's go to the bar". And on the way to the bar, we saw a dozen people standing outside Best Buy. We laughed at them. It was very cold and they were fucking idiots for sitting out in that bullshit. But we also said "fuck it.. .if the line is less than double what it is now when we get out of the bar, we'll join them"

About 3 hours later we were all done at the bar. It was only around 10 so I don't know why we were done at the bar so early, but we were. On the way back around to the main road, passing Best Buy again,we noticed that only a handful of people had added onto the existing group. There were maybe 20 people in line total. We decided... "well, I've never done this... let's do this"

We did. For some reason, I still had 2 of those folding park chairs in my trunk. I also had a bottle of vodka. The vodka was about to become useful.

We called a friend and told him what we were doing. There were 3 of us. This friend made us a deal. If we would pick up the one simple thing he wanted to get his mom for Christmas (and didn't want to fight crowds to get it), he would bring us pizza. I demanded a half gallon jug of orange juice too. We accepted this deal.

I ended up spending from about 11:00 until 5 am (when they opened) drinking about 2/3 of a gallon of screwdriver.

Let me tell you... going Black Friday shopping at 5 am, lit the fuck up on almost a gallon of screwdriver and most of a bottle of vodka is REALLY the way to shop. It makes humans almost tolerable.

But see... that was fun. It was ok to do once. It was also stupid and pointless. But you know what made sense about it? It actually started on FRIDAY. I walked into the fucking store on FRIDAY and bought my shit. I did my shopping on FRIDAY. Not fucking THURSDAY half-way through dinner. Then it wouldn't be black mother fucking FRIDAY.

So fuck you Walmart and fuck all of the websites hyping the shit out of christmas shopping already. I hate you. I hope you all die in a fire.