What's In A Name? - RTOTD #797

Day 797

Wait a second... you can now sell the naming rights to your kids on the Internet? I'd almost be willing to have a kid just to sell their naming rights! Granted, I'd hand the kid to the first stranger that passed me on the street and told them to take it because I didn't want it right after I got the check for the naming rights, but still...  This is fucking brilliant!

And before you throw a tantrum about how wrong this is, it's not like the kids get a fucking vote in their name now. The parents are picking it. If they decide to crowdsource the name and make some bank on it, is there REALLY that much wrong with it? Now if you start ending up with people selling their kids names to corporations like they were sports arenas or stadiums, well... I guess then I might see an issue with it. I mean, the Internet deciding your kid should be named "Gaia Smith" and paying you $5,000 for the privilege of picking it out is one thing. Naming your kid "1-800-FlowersDotCom Jones"  for a half million or something is entirely different.

Can I sell MY naming rights on the Internet? Cause that would be awesome. I'll go by whatever the hell these people want me to for the right price.

So here's the deal... I already let Doxie call me Joe-Joe in exchange for doing my laundry (which, let me clarify here, was NOT a 1-time thing. You want to keep calling me Joe-Joe? You gotta keep doing my laundry!)

But I think it's time you motherfuckers started paying me if you want to call me other weird names. So what do you want to call me? Put it in the comments section and I'll reply back with the price that I think it's worth for me to be inconvenienced by that name. And if you are willing to put up ENOUGH money, I might even be willing to get my name legally changed to whatever the fuck it is that you all pick. But I'm gonna want paid for going that far.

Speaking of naming things though... I'm not sure I like my originally planned name for the eventual 2nd book. I had thought that "Mostly Drunk & Always Disorderly" was a good one, but I'm not sure.

So here's a contest: Make a suggestion for a title. And if I pick yours, I'll give you a free signed copy of the 1st book in your preferred format (eBook, paperback, or hard cover) AND a free signed copy of the 2nd one (whenever I'm done with it) in your preferred format, as well as a credit for the naming.