Good In Theory, Not in Reality - RTOTD #846

Day 846

"Your kink isn't my kink but that's ok"

Whatever

It's a common phrase in the alt-sex community. In fact, it's one of the first ones we hear when we get involved. And it's a legitimate statement in theory, but not so much in practice. You might think that I'm talking about the triggers that we all have and sometimes react poorly to when we hear a kink that hits one of them. I'm not.

I just read through a writing that was quite well written and made a number of valid points about this and was on the topic of kink shaming and everything. Great. I dig it. The problem is that in reality, kink shaming happens and it's going to keep happening. Because that statement is too short and doesn't take into account a lot of shit.

Here's how that statement should read:

"Your kink isn't my kink but if you don't shut the fuck up about, I'm going to tell you exactly how weird and stupid it really is"

Because often times, you run into people who just can't shut the fuck up about whatever their kink is. Not always. A lot of people are pretty good about it. But a lot of people aren't. They like talking about it. It's often a problem in the newbies or the people who are only involved with kinky people to find a partner to help them fulfill that fantasy. It's obviously less common in people that have been around for years and develop solid friendships. They tend to be far more well-rounded people, but there are still a number of those that get so excited by their kink that they just can't stop talking about it. I don't know if they're trying to subconsciously talk you into doing it with them even if it's not your thing or what, but for whatever reason, they just always get drawn back into talking about it even after they've already told that you're not into it. And I won't speak for everyone else, but I only have a limited amount of patience for shit that I don't care about.

You like to wear diapers and play an infant? Great. Now shut the fuck up and go away or talk to me about hockey or beer like a normal person because I don't care and if you keep talking about it, I'm going to tell you exactly how weird of a kink that is.

You get off on fighting the patriarchy and screaming about the rape culture of capitalism and eating meat? Great. Please do it over there outside of my earshot or I'll learn you exactly how far down the slippery slope of mediocre logic and poor assumptions 3rd wave feminism fell. And as loud as you scream, I don't care. I have a bullhorn. I'll be louder or just turn on the siren.

You like to spend hours on end practicing the 637 knots you have in your repertoire and quizzing yourself on exactly which situation this particular knot should be applied? Great. What's your favorite beer? Because if you keep talking about fucking knots, I'm going to self-teach myself the best way to make the biggest god damned knot I can and stuff it in your talking hole.

Oh? You're a testicular saline infusion fetishist? Doesn't that make it hard to walk? Ok, can you just not whip them out in front of me? It makes my balls hurt to even think about it. Ok, that's all I really wanted to know. Dude, seriously, if you don't stop talking about it, I'm going to see if there's a greater potential for an explosive reaction when saline infused testicles are hit with the steel toe of my boot, ok?

You like smokin hot bimbos that skirt the edges of legality with their clothing choices on the street? And you like to tie them up and smack them around while they giggle and love it before picking a hole for use that time around?  Ok cool. Me too. Let's have a chat.

That's how it works in the real world. It's sad but true. The people that have their kinks have their kinks and more power to them. Whatever gets you off and doesn't hurt anyone that doesn't want to be hurt and is legally of age to consent to it? Be my guest. Enjoy. I hope you have the best orgasm ever from engaging in your Marxist feminist dialectic, all 941 knots you put into that suspension or your goo-goo-ga-ga-poopy-diaper thing. Whatever your thing is; ROCK THE FUCK ON!

But shut the fuck up when I make it clear that I don't care about it. When I make it clear that I'm not into that and you keep talking about it, instead of finding something that we both can chat about, I'm eventually going to run out of patience. And eventually, if you don't pick up on my not-so-subtle clues about the zero fucks I give about anything you're saying, I'm eventually not going to be even less subtle.

It's an issue of consideration. Being considerate to one another. That's the point of the original quote.

"Your kink isn't my kink but that's OK" is all about just being as considerate as you can to people. However, in what is a disappointingly large number of interactions with people, when their "not my kink" is the one thing that they won't stop talking about, they are no longer showing that same consideration back and lose the right to be treated with common consideration themselves.

And that is when "Your kink isn't my kink but that's ok" becomes "your kink isn't my kink but if you don't shut the fuck up about it, I'm going to tell you exactly how weird and stupid it is".

Except with Furries. Fuck Furries. I'm never going to stop pointing out how weird mascot fucking is. I will kink-shame that shit until I die.