Random Thought Of The Day #437

Day 437

So who is helping me move this Sunday or any time next week (except Tuesday)? I had a bunch of people say that they were willing, but I need to get an idea of who is actually available and willing.

I'm not doing any more of the "exporation of my kinks" RTOTDs on my work computer. That's probably not the best idea. So I'll do another one later from my phone.

I feel like an adult every time I have to sign a contract.
*I am not an adult*

But so far today, I'm busy putting together the balance of the contracts that I need for the new house. Roommate agreements, lease agreements, and all that fun stuff. It's really fucking tedious. And just trying to find the right document templates for this is way too fucking complicated.

See? Here's where I'm smarter than anyone who has anything to do with a dungeon in pittsburgh for a long time... I know my roommates... I trust them... They know me... they trust me... we're still operating with legal documents to protect ourselves. No random rent increases. Due dates for rent. Agreements on how bills and all that will be handled. In-writing consequences for violating any of the terms of the agreement. All that fun stuff... so take a hint... contracts are useful. They're cumbersome, complicated and seem like common sense stuff but they're also necessary.

Now that I've insulted a bunch of people... on to something else.



Yeah, I dropped to the level of posting LOLcatz. I suck.



I really should add "being an asshole" to my fetish list. Cause I totally got that shit down.

Fucking christ, these contracts makes me want to punch kittens.

Oh fuck it... I give up trying to write anything here today.

Here's some more Deadpool vs. Captain America:


Be like Deadpool



Random Thought Of The Day #436

Day 436

So... the Kegs & Eggs party that @Unwonted & I are putting together is gonna get changed from 8am to 10am on Saturday. Just wanted to put that out there before I got onto the rest of the thought today...

Yesterday I thought about going thru my list of kinks an starting to explain them and what I dig about them... I'll give you a bunch of the simple ones today. Things that require only short explainations. Tomorrow, you'll get a good one with some deep exploration.



Yeah, it's for YouTube but fuck it... it's just as funny

 1. 500 internal server error drinking game - this one is pretty much self-explanatory. Whenever fetlife's server goes crazy and you keep getting the 500 internal server error message... you drink. It's a fun game.

2. adults that act like adults - this one is also pretty simple. Yet still very important. This is mainly in regards to bottoms, but Tops can also be guilty of this one. Being a bottom is not an excuse for acting like a child. It's not an excuse to throw temper tantrums or do any of those other things that adults should have grown out of doing when you stopped being a teenager. Things like having common courtesy and understanding that behaviors have a time and place where they're appropriate. Just generally acting like a well-adjusted person who is able to take care of themselves. Most D-types are looking for an s-type. Not to become someone's babysitter. And yes, Tops occasionally are guilty of this as well, but I've found that it's more of a trait of bottoms. The Tops that are guilty of this are normally the kind that don't really want an s-type so much as a maid and cook.



Imagine it. Let it infect your brain.

 3. anal sporking - yeah... this one is a joke. Long-time readers should remember this one as a joke originating out of an RTOTD from a while back. But it's still a funny mental image.

4. backscatter x-ray porn - another joke stemming from an RTOTD. The new-ish security scanner things at the airports that see thru your clothes but not thru your body. They don't look exactly like you're naked but they don't look like a hospital x-ray either. There's gotta be some way to make porn with that. And I'd love to see it.

5. bacon - because everyone loves fucking bacon. Though with the recent bacon "fad" that's been going on everywhere, I'm thinking about removing this one. Because everyone loves bacon. And if you don't love bacon... you're just un-American. Dirty commie pinko.

And finally, I'll give you one that requires some actual explanation today...



Do you have any idea how hard it is to
find a picture of a girl begging in Google
Images with a strict SafeSearch control
setting? Really fucking hard!

 6. begging - There's something wildly hot about a bottom begging. For my explanation, I'm might use gender-specific pronouns because...  well... fuck it. I'm a straight D-type male. So I only care about girls begging.

But with begging, there's something wildly hot about it. It's an affirmation of control. But that's just the surface of it.

Underneath that, there's a number of the psychological points that it hits that are an even bigger turn-on. Begging not only affirms your control, but it also affirms their submission to that control. There's an admission aspect to it. And it also has an implied degradation aspect to it and, if one wishes, it can directly lead into an explicit degradation aspect.

Begging is a wonderful stepping stone in play. One party wanting something very badly, while the other controls whether that person gets the object of their desire. Be it a physical object, an orgasm, even just a permission to do something else or release from a punishment.

Regardless of what it is, it's a stepping stone that can be used by the D-type to do a number of things. It can be used for bargaining. It can be used to modify behavior. It can be used to gain access into deeper desires of the other person. Or it could simply be used to get an explicit acceptance of their submission.

They're giving you something to use against them so that they can get what they want too. They know that they're submitting to whatever my sadistic mind can come up with because of how much they want something  And that is wildly hot.

So what is it about begging that you like?

Random Thought Of The Day #435 - Not Mad Libs Edition

Day 435

Yeah. I know... I promised you all this on Saturday but... well... I just couldn't engage my brain enough to come up with anything. And try as I might today, I just couldn't come up with anything that would be good Mad Libs material...

I wish I could find better inspiration. For the past week or so, I just can't seem to find it. Nothing is speaking to me. Nothing is really pissing me off or making me laugh enough to get a good RTOTD out of it. Maybe it's because I'm not involving myself in the community stuff anymor and therefore am a little disconnected, maybe it's because I've been so focused on this whole house things that I can't really think about much else, but maybe it's just that nothing cool or funny or irritating is actually happening anymore.

And I'm not sure what is worse. Boredom or disconnection.



What are YOU connected to?



Boredom is easy to correct. But disconnection isn't. Especially when I don't really have anything I feel compelled to be connected to right now.

I mean, I was never terribly connected in the first place. People always assumed I was (people assume that about me in a lot of aspects of my life), but most of the time, I just find shit out 3rd hand weeks after things happened or announcements were made. Granted, that's probably because if it didn't affect me, I generally ignore it... but still.. I was, at the very least, interested in things going on. Now? Not really at all.

Have I outgrown the kink community? To an extent, I believe that yes, I have. I don't mean that in the "I'm better than everyone else" kinda way (though I clearly am)... I just mean in the "I just don't care what happens to it" way. Sort of like that town you used to live in and enjoyed but moved out of a while back and now it's going downhill and the crime rate is slowly going up. You think "that's sad" but beyond that? You really don't care. You've moved on. That's kind of how I'm at with the community. The community, as it stands today, is far from irreplaceable. There will ALWAYS be something out there for kinky bastards to be a part of.  



I might not be involved in anything, but I still have my
Rope Pride

That's not a shot at thost that like it... that's just the point that I'm at with it. It's something I needed for a while... then enjoyed for a while longer... and then kinda slowly lost interest in, saw the ugly side of, where it looked like things were going and said "yeah, my lack of interest and what I'm seeing going on... I'm kinda out of this" and never really looked back.

And I'm still not looking back. I occasionally talk about the community or kink, but I also occasionally talk about a lot of shit that I have absolutely no vested interest in.

I have to thank the community for one thing, however. And that's introducing me to a lot of my closest friends. I know there was a thread a while back about meeting people in the community. And as I said there, I've met a good number of people that I consider close friends, I've met neighbors that I never would have otherwise known. I've met room mates I've met a few partners. And last but not least, learned a lot that I never would have learned without getting the fuck out of my house and getting involved. But it was a stepping stone for me. Nothing more.

But I did that on my own. The only thing the community was useful for with that was providing an opportunity. Remember that. That's all it is. It's a venue. And while venues are important, they're replaceable.

But what is the next step beyond that? I write, occasionally about kink. Sometimes, rarely, I play. I teach myself a lot of the next-step type things in play that I grabbed some basic knowledge on while I was involved. I organize a small exclusive group (only because I created the @ElitistFucks twitter page), but that's mainly oriented around drinking. But beyond that however... I'm still trying to figure out what the next step is. 

I think I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing and I'm sure I'll figure it out...

Maybe I could figure it out a little easier if I took the time to dedicate this thing here a little more towards kink. I mean kink philosophy, what I'm teaching myself and picking up from others and maybe even take a day every week to explore a fetish and what I find appealing about it.

But in the meantime... I'll keep making your day better with some Deadpool and ranting about nothing.

You already got your ranting about nothing. So here's your Deadpool...

Deadpool gets confused sometimes.

RTOTD #434.1

Day 434.1

So I know I've talked rather extensively about buying a house recently. And I know most of you are sitting there thinking (or screaming at the computer monitor. I prefer to imagine you all doing that) "we know you're buying a house, asshole! Now shut the fuck up about it!" but I'm still gonna talk more about it today.

For all the things that I fucking HATE about moving, there's one thing that I do genuinely enjoy. And that's the "cleaning out stuff" aspect of it.

You know what I'm talking about. You're about to move and you look around at all your stuff and start thinking "I don't wanna move all this shit". So, while you're in the packing process, you start going thru all of it and realizing "I haven't used this in 12 years. why the fuck do I keep moving it with me every time I move again?". Especially when you're still in your 20's or early 30's and you move every few years or even every year.

So instead of taking another box or 3 worth of crap like old yearbooks from highschool that have been in boxes since 1998 or that little dog with the bobblehead that your grandma gave you that she won in a bingo game,  you decide it's time to start cleaning crap out. No more lugging around boxes of stuff that will just stay boxed up until you move again.

That's what I'm doing right now.

Except with buying the house, my dad told me "good, now you can get the rest of your crap out of my basement & garage". So I'm not really going thru much in the line of boxes from my place and instead, I'm going thru all my old stuff in my parents' house.



These fucking long boxes probably weigh 50 lbs each
when filled with comics. Fuck carrying all that.

 So far, I've come up with like 700 pounds of stuff to either throw away, sell or donate (and I'm only about half way done)

For instance, about 1500 comic books in 6 long boxes. I had 30 long boxes (about 7000)l, but I'm not moving 30 long boxes of comics. So I went thru them and pulled out all the crap I'll never read again or is just taking up space and managed to fill up 6 of the long boxes with shit that I bought over the years that I hated or it sucked. I'm totally gonna sell them. Looks like they're going on Craigslist.

An electric/acoustic guitar. Apparently a very nice one from what google told me. I don't even play the fucking guitar. I'm tone deaf. I don't even remember where... oh... wait... nevermind. Yeah, I remember now. An ex got it for me cause she thought, since I was a musician, I should have a guitar. So... anyone wanna buy a guitar? Where do you even sell one anymore? Craigslist again, I guess.

Boxes (and boxes and boxes) of old college books. Christ, I have a shitload of old college books. I changed majors a lot. They're probably fucking worthless at this point. They're like 10 years old and colleges update far too often for them to be worth anything.

Like 400 cd's. I converted everything to digital like 12 years ago. Between iTunes, torrents and the stuff I already ripped into mp3, what the fuck do I ever need a CD for? CDWarehouse, here I come!



To this day, I still love the look & sound of vinyl.
(especially if it's a hot girl wearing it)

 I also did manage to find a bunch of old vinyl that is totally coming with me. Like original pressings of a shitload of classic rock albums. Now, I just need to get a new turntable. I still love vinyl. Though I think I'll have to do something with disposing of the 8-Track player & tapes that went with it. Although, a totally vintage stereo set-up would be kinda tits.

This doesn't even include my drum kit (which is totally coming) and all my old toys from when I was a kid.

Juse the massive amount of old paperwork, college notebooks and junk electronics is enough to fill probably another 3 or 4 garbage bags. I'm gonna have so much trash.


You mean a 50's Housewife does NOT
come with the house? I'm calling bullshit
cause I totally need one of these.





As for the stuff at my place now, I've learned to live light with all the moving around I was doing. It was down to books, furniture, dvds, a few personal items and clothing/linens. So I don't have to do too much "going thru stuff" there. Which is nice.

 But the downside of all this is that with moving into a place I'm not planning on moving out of anytime within the next, oh... 15 or 20 years at least? ... I'm going to start accumulating crap again. The way I did when I was younger and never moving around.

I'm gonna have to start doing spring-cleaning now, aren't I?

(coming later today... Mad Libs edition for RTOTD #434.2)

Random Thought Of The Day #434

Day 434

Our technology is going to kill us all.



Everything connects

 I love technology. I love how personal we've made our tech. But in some ways, I think we take our desire to be plugged into things, to expand our senses through technology way too far. And into the areas of violating the personal space of others.

We're constantly plugged in. We can have video conversations with someone on the other side of the country while standing on the subway. We get push notifications of every change in anyones status that we want to our iPhones or blackberries. You're never unplugged at this point. In 12 seconds, we can see something, take a photo, upload it to any social media network and flickr or make homemade HD-quality porn and have it online in as long as it takes for your data connection to upload it. We can see someone, think they're cute, introduce ourselves, have an hour long conversation and set up a first date without having to have ever been even in the same zip code as them.



These glasses can read micro-expressions such as
annoyance, interest, anger or dishonesty & then
communicate that information to the wearer.

It doesn't matter what we want to do... our technology has become personal enough that we can do it. There are actually working prototypes of the Cell Phone Tooth implant.
From glasses that can read micro-expressions and communicate their meanings to the wearer (so THAT'S why Fox cancelled Lie To Me?) to firms dedicated entirely to social networking investigations hired by businesses to investigate potential or existing employees. We're crossing the line. And once you cross that line by an inch, someone else IS going to cross it by a mile. And it doesn't matter what degree it's been crossed to. Crossing it is crossing it. By an inch or a mile. It's been crossed.

Yeah, claim that "slippery slope" is bad logic, but guess fucking what? It happens almost every time. Slippery slopes fucking happen. Period. So whether you like it or not, the fact that it happens makes it good logic.

We said "ok" when the government wanted to increase security at airports and now we have 2 hour secuirity lines, little kids and your 97 year old grandma getting "enhanced screening" pat-downs, backscatter x-ray scanners that can see under your clothes but not all the way thru your body and all number of other privacy violations because someone made the argument that they were "common sense" security precautions. As I said... slippery slope. And that's only one of a thousand possible examples that affect us all.

I know the arguments... we put too much of our social lives on the fucking internet. And that's a damn good point. We do. We make too much of our private lives public just by posting it online. But the thing is... many people also have an expectation of a degree of privacy in our social media. A mistaken expectation, but still... And our web presences are expanding, not decreasing. As I said just the other day... it's a viral world and we've all now been given the opportunity to create and spread our own virus across the planet through the intarwubz. Everyone is realizing this. And everyone is taking their opportunity to do so.

There's also a sexist element to this. It's going to have a disproportionately adverse impact on women.

Seriously. I'm not making a joke or taking a shot at the feminazis with this one. These services screen for sexually explicit photos of you online as well in your web presence. There's a disproportionately larger number women that are going to be impacted by this than men.

From jaded former lovers spiting their ex by posting that picture he convinced her to let him take of her sucking his dick to the sexting boob shot she sent to his cell phone to tease him before their date that night. Most of these don't show the man's face. And unless there's now penis recognition software out there that I'm not aware of, the cock-pic he has on FetLife or Craigslist isn't gonna be recognized. But facial regonition software that DOES exist can still tell you are you even when your mouth is full of dick.

But I can only hope that this ends in firms like this and companies that would hire firms like this realizing a law of diminishing returns. With the incresing web presence that many of us have these days, the normal, typical youthful experimentation that WILL get posted on Facebook or wherever and all of the other follies of youth and early adulthood, hopefully this is just end up as another experiment in going around the normal interviewing process for work that will exclude so many potential employees that companies eventually abandon it because they can't find enough "suitable" candidates.

Because at the end of the day, our social media is about just that. Our socializing. Our social lives. And have little or nothing to do with our ability to do a job. Or our character. Some people might play just as hard off the clock as they work while on it.

And if this becomes the new order of the day... well, all I can say is this is just another example of how fucked we are allowing ourselves to become.

Random Thought Of The Day #433

Day 433

It's another list type of day...

1. It sucks that Woodstocks is cancelled. I know how much work everyone (especially M-E-S-B and joyous) put into it. And whatever the legal reason was that came up that forced them to cancel it, I guarantee it was one that there was virtually no way around. It still sucks though.

But I have to say... it almost seems like yet another kick in the ass to the local community in the past few years. Almost like it's a 1-thing-after-another deal there. Every time things start going along moderately smoothly, something comes along to fuck it all up.



My life will feel like a real-life remake
of this fucking movie. Back when
Tom Hanks was still funny. Plus,
that chick was a lot better on Cheers.
And Artemis_Fallen doesn't really look
anything like Shelly Long.

2. Ever have one of those moments of clarity when you're like "Fuck... am I really doing this? holy shit... I'm actually doing this." and the gravity of the whole situation hits you all at once?

Yeah, I'm totally having one of those moments about buying a house.

I'm totally not enough of an adult for this.

3. I thought my desire to play was low before... anymore, it's absolutely non-existant. Outside of like 3 sessions with a friend that moved away a few months back, I have played twice since COPE 2009. And what's worse... I don't think I really care.

It's not like I'm becoming less kinky. I just really don't seem to have the urge anymore at all.

I don't even have the motivation to seek out new play partners or anything. And this might be tied into my "I'm single and I really could give a shit about finding any sort of partner" phase I've been in for the past year.

It's like I've somehow become more and more cynical about dating, relationships, play and pretty much everything else related to that kinda thing, if that makes any sense, or is even possible.



Beat motherfuckers!

 Maybe I'm just preoccupied with the whole 'I'm buying a house" thing and feel like I have more important things to think about than dating. I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just starting to realize how slim the dating pool is becoming the older I get. Or maybe I've just become a bitter, cynical, surly old man at 30 (I'm totally thinking this actually might be more of the case) but I just don't care.

Well, that might not be entirely true. I care a little bit. But I just don't seem to even have the energy to bring myself to care enough that it bothers me. It's more of that little nagging thing that pops up in my head from time to time of "hey, it would be kinda cool to not be single for a little while" which is then immediately followed by the thought that "that requires going out there and trying to meet new people and I hate new people and then it requires weeding thru the ever-growing list of girls with serious baggage, kids or a whole host of other dealbreakers for someone that actually is close to what I'm looking for and that's just way too much fucking work so I think I'm just gonna go play with my dog, have a beer and then play some xbox" (yes, I think in ungodly long run-on sentences) and say 'fuck it.

I don't know... maybe it's just as simple as I'm in my comfort zone being single right now. I'm good with being single. And being in that comfort zone, by definition, is something I don't feel like leaving. Or maybe it's just a case of not meeting anyone in forever and a day that makes me want to get out of that comfort zone.

I mean, I'm not one of those people that dates people just so they're not single. I only date or play with someone I connect with. Someone I really dig on one level or another. And I have to have an attraction. So the pickings are slimmer and slimmer each year. Unless I went the Creepy Old Dom route and tried to grab up any of the new 19-22-year-old subbie girls that showed up in the scene. But that's not really my style.

FetLife Cydia app for iPhone pleasssseeeee??

Once again, not exactly new territory to explore here... just something that's been on my mind the last day or 3.

4. Oh... new iPhone jailbreak is out. I might do that later. Need to back up my phone first though. I just wish FetLife released a Cydia app since Apple is so fucking anal about content restrictions. Enough iPhone users jailbreak that even if we had to pay $1.99 or something for the app, we'd do it just so we can have a damn app. Fucking apple.

5. This thing sucks today. Like really sucks. I have absolutely no inspiration.  I hate days like that. Where I sit here and just kinda have writers block.

Well, not so much writers block as just nothing that really speaks to me enough that I can expound upon a basic concept and turn it into an actual thought.

Nope, instead I try to hide the fact that I can't really make some basic concept into a full thought behind lists of little crap with some bad one-liners thrown in and pictures..

And on that note... here's some more Deadpool:




Deadpool would have been AWESOME in Avatar. He knows how to kill blue freaks.



Random Thought Of The Day #432

Day 432

Today seems like a good day to let you all in on a little secret about me. I really don't give a shit about much. Most things generally all comes down to what amuses me and what doesn't. That's it. Nothing more complicated than that. From things that I enjoy doing to people I like being around... I like it or them because they provide me some level of amusement. It's slightly more complicated than that with the mixtures of variables that make certain people unique as opposed to the beige (not actual color/race, you idiots... I mean as in boring/bland/the same) people that all blend together, but in a very generalized sense... yeah... I enjoy certain people and things simply because they interest me. There's the rare thing that'll get my own moral outrage, but I'm mostly a "live and let live (but secretly hope everyone that doesn't amuse me dies)" kinda guy.



This is an oddly accurate description of me

 That might make me a sociopath, but whatever. I'm good with it.

So while I could give a shit about some lady that might or might not have killed her kid, I'm loving watching the fallout because of how much it amuses me.

From the moral indignation of some, to the desire to see someone "get what's coming to them" from others to the others talking about the subjective application of objective rules of guilt or innocence... Watching the gamut of emotions that some people go through regarding the fate of some person they've never met and only knew existed because of the television and intarwubz boxes is absolutely fascinating to me.



Even comic book MJ looks creepy

 It's like OJ, Michael Jackson and any other of the celebrity trails all over again... except this time, without the celebrity. But the whole vibe around it was the same as those even for this time for a no-name trial. Something about that twist to this caught my attention.

But the similarities didn't end there... in all of those kinda cases, you get the same general public response and the same outcome. Everyone WANTS them to be guilty... everyone "KNOWS" that they did SOMETHING... but in every single case, nothing was ever proven.

And in every one of those cases, the moral outcry when it was all over is the same as this. The "shock" of a not-guilty verdict on the public. The feeling of justice being unserved.

And I think that the outcome and  the subsequent public response being exactly the same every time is maybe what interests me the most out of everything.

Every single time, the prosecution can't prove shit. In a country where we have a presumption of innocence, it's amazing to me how quickly we want to assume and apply a degree of guilt before any trial. And when nothing is ever proven, the public feels as though justice has been unserved. And the outrcy after the fact is always the same.

It's like watching the same movie over and over and over and expecting a different result. It's like watching Titanic and thinking that the boat won't sink. And then responding with shock when it does.

It's the totality of the situation that interests me here. The vibe, the circumstances, the outcome, the public response, the sensationalism, the feeling that "I've seen this all before and I know where it's going to end" and the hypocrisy of it all mixed into a big gigantic cake of amusement for me. That is what interests me. The human drama that this creates.



Daddy is watching



It's like going to the mall and people watching without actually having to leave my couch/chair/drivers seat. Watching this all play out over and over and over is the most grand form of people watching ever. A study of human behavior. From the people involved to the general public to and all the actions and response. The cause and effect on human emotion. It intrigues me to no end.

It makes me feel like a god... watching the ants march.

Random Thought Of The Day #431

Day 431



Famous last words - "Hold my beer and watch this!"



It's the Tuesday after a long holiday weekend that involves copious amounts of drinking and explosions.

So, yeah... basically, you're lucky I'm still alive to amuse you this week.

Actually, compared to most weekends, this one was pretty damn tame. I didn't even see any fireworks this year. Unless you count people playing with sparklers outside last night. Which... you know... I don't.

And speaking of drinking, I don't know what has been going on with me recently. I almost can't drink anymore. No, not like an "I get drunk off 3 beers" or "it's making me sick" thing. No, I get like 3 or 4 beers in and I just get full. And it doesn't seem to matter what the fuck I'm drinking, I just have a couple drinks and then all of a sudden, I'm full.

It's weird. And it kinda sucks. But oh well. Maybe it's a good way to let my liver and kidneys heal from the years and years of damange I've caused to them during my war against them.

I'm not gonna talk about sports today... or bitch about how much I hate all the new music out there anymore... or talk about something equally inane, but as I said... it's a tuesday after a long holiday weekend involving drinking and explosions... this is pretty much the best you get.

So here's some Deadpool to keep you interested for another 9 seconds:


Bea Arthur - Totally Hot



RTOTD #430.1

Day 430.1

Uh-oh! The terrorists are reading my blog now!

I'm getting views from Saudi Arabia now.

DHS is gonna be knocking on my door any minute now!

Random Thought Of The Day #430

Day 430



This is strangely creepy. But I'm also as giddy
as a girl of unknown age or maturity level
 ... in... an... anime? Eh, whatever. Close enough.



It's Hockey Christmas, yo! Don't worry... not talking about sports much today. Apparently nobody wants to read about that. But fuck all yinz. I'm happy today! It's friday. It's hockey Christmas. It's birthdays of cool people.

Yes, in addition to celebrating Hockey Christmas, it's also birthdays today. So today is chalk-full of celebrativity. Yes, I just made that up.

Happy birthday to Blue. Welcome to adulthood. Now quit it with the Disney stuff all the time! And quit filling my feed with a bunch of random crap about fucking the person above you. Ya whore!



Everybody's Got A Price For The
Million Dollar Man!



Also, happy birthday to TwistedView. Yeah, you're still not an adult. I know this because I'm totally not an adult yet. And you're not that much further ahead of me. Except for that whole being married thing and being a home owner thing and ... fuck... I guess you are a lot further ahead of me than I thought. Well, fuck you. It's still your birthday and you're not paying for your drinks tonight, ya bastard.

And if I missed anyone elses birthdays... too bad. You're apparently not cool enough for me to remember your birthdays.

Or they don't fall on a day where there's other cool things... like Hockey Christmas... also going on. Which is the only reason I remember birthdays.



Now, onto more important things. Namely crap I want to talk about. Or rather, yell about.



"ok, so you look thru here and then you press this button
and you kill whatever you're looking at. Sounds good?"



Ok, so I just saw an article about how a 5 year old shot a 4 year old on the playground... How the FUCK did that shit happen? I'm not asking how the kid got a gun or why he'd think it was a good idea. No, I'm curious how the hell he even held it up level enough to shoot it!?!?! Pistols are kinda fucking hefty. I mean, sure... it was a .22, but still. Not exactly an easy task for a 5 year old.

Oh, it was DC... nevermind. There's such a void of intelligence and common sense in that region that it probably warps the god damn time/space continuum with a black hole and messes with the laws of physics enough that even a 5 year old could carry a gun. Plus... well... it's run by criminals and populated by them as well. So it all makes a warped kind of sense. I mean, how long did they have a crack-addicted mayor?

I'm not sure if I can top that one today. So I think I'm done for now.

ElitistFucks meet-up tonight. Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!

See you tonight, kids!