Random Thought Of The Day #494

Day 494



 Hold on... Florida is looking into changing their death penalty law. Some Republican down there sponsored a bill to eliminate the Lethal Injection option and go old school. You get your choice between the chair & a firing squad.

That's fucking awesome!

I can understand lethal injection for dogs & cats and stuff. They're old & sick or they're vicious or whatever... put them to sleep. That's fine. Even the vicious ones didn't do anything to deserve any sort of pain when being put down. They just reacted naturally. They're animals. So I get that.

I just never quite got the "let's be all super nice & considerate to the feelings of a death row inmate" thing. I'm not saying "let's lock them in a Cuba-style 4x4 prison cell with spikes on the walls" or anything... but I think we worry far too fucking much about their comfort and what is "cruel & unusual".

I know... I'm probably not one to talk about this, but I was always more in the camp of "if you make it brutal, we make it brutal on you too, fucker" when it comes to punishment. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone on death row should end up at the point of a gun, but still. You go shooting people... well, fair is fair, boss.

But I don't think electric chair or firing squad goes far enough.

Let's bring back Drawing & Quartering. When's the last time someone got drawn & quartered? Well... maybe in Texas. But still.

Tell me that wouldn't be amusing. And you figure... if you gotta go out... go out in a memorable fucking way, yo!

Or maybe force them to stay awake and watch endless re-runs of Hee-Haw & anything on Lifetime.

Random Thought Of The Day #493

Day 493

It's kind of an exciting few days for the geek in me.

iTunes 10.5 came out yesterday with iCloud access. iOS 5, iCloud & a few other things were live today. The iPhone 4S comes out Friday morning...

Samsung is selling Galaxy S II phones for $2 to compete with the iPhone. Yes, you read that right... they rented a whole storefront down the street from an Apple Store to sell a $200 phone for $2 to get people to switch. Talk about determination to take a chunk out of Apple's market share & fire another shot in the ongoing war between those 2 companies. It's kinda funny to watch this one. Yet they're still doing business with each other with Samsung providing components for a number of Apple products.

And I have to say...  the new Find My Friends app for iOS5 is stalker-heaven! It constantly shares your location with your friends after it's turned on (you have to turn it on). It's kinda awesome. Though you're totally gonna have to explain to your wife why you're showing up in the Strip Club all the time. Or at that pay-by-the-hour motel off Route 8. Cause she's gonna know some shit is going down if you don't turn it on so she can see where you're at. So yeah... stalker-iffic fun. Apple... making cheating or having fun harder since 2011.

But that was nothing compared to the sheer awesomness that was the Avengers trailer going live yesterday. I know @DoNotGoGently & @Sybele were creaming themselves when they watched it. I kinda jizzed in my pants a little bit watching that. And I bet at least a few of you were kinda at least at half-mast from watching it. And there was Hulk-y goodness at the end. Though I'm still not sold on "I'm-such-a-sensitive-man" Mark Ruffalo as a replacement for Ed Norton.

But fucking Robert Downey Jr. needs to just see if he can change his name legally to Tony Stark. He's kinda perfect for that role. He has been since the beginning... I'm pretty sure the casting went something like this:

Casting Agent - "Robert, what we need is for you to play an alcoholic, womanizing, pill-popping, billionare with a bunch of cool toys and a snarky sense of humor"

RDJ - "hmm... I'm not sure about this..."

Casting Agent - "just play yourself... but with cooler shit and more money"

RDJ - "oh... ok... that works"

Casting Agent (Looking at Jon Favreau) - "It was that or Charlie Sheen... but he was busy wearing bowling shirts"

Jon Favreau (to Casting Agent) - "good call"

But I do have to say... I'm pretty sure Chris Evans wants to be in every comic book movie ever. He's done like 7 of them now or something.

The Avengers, The Losers, Scott Pilgrim, 2 Fantastic Four movies, Push, Sunshine, Captain America & something else that I know I'm forgetting and am too lazy to look up on IMDB. I think he wants to just become a superhero.

And Scarlett Johansson's boobs in more black leather... mmmm... *pause... spacing out*...

what was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. I like tits. Bigger the better. Well... unless they're all floppy or mis-shapen and stuff. NICE big boobs. Yummy. Boobs.

I mean... who doesn't love tits?

Deadpool even loves it.

Random Thought Of The Day #492

Day 492

Tonight is the first home game of the Penguins season. It feels like we're getting back to normal. Hockey season.

It's strange how certain things just feel like HOME.

Like sitting there on a Monday night and thinking "this sucks, I wish the Pens were playing tonight"... or just thinking "they played last night, so they'll be probably playing tomorrow night"once we hit a few weeks into the season. Hockey gives some sort of regularity to life in the winter for me. Like that is how I measure time passing in the winter... by Pens games.

*shrug* I don't know... maybe I'm just weird.

But it's sports... so like 80% of you don't seem to care.

But even Deadpool likes sports... so you should too:

RTOTD #491.1

Day 491.1

A couple quick hits...

1.  Remember how I mentioned that whole Netflix splitting into 2 companies & ending up with 2 different websites to manage your 2 different queue lists & all that crazy bullshit?

Yeah... forget about that. Apparently Reed Hastings (Netflix CEO) was having an acid trip or something when he came up with that idea... cause he just said "oh that? That's not happening anymore. Nothing is changing now." and Qwikster died in utero. Like it should have.

So yeah... back to your regularly scheduled programming.

2. What the fuck is it with everyone getting married right now? I think I saw like 6 different people on my Facebook friends list talk about their weddings in the past 2 weeks. Everyone is getting fucking married. Everyone has or is having kids.

Fuck  this... I'm just getting drunk. And I'm gonna get another dog. And maybe go celibate. My penis is kind of afraid of this trend everywhere I look.

3. Hey people... I love most apple products. I dig the stores & their design sense. I dig the ecosystem of iOS & OSX and I really think we lost a great innovator & visionary in Steve Jobs... but really... the "let's leave flowers outside of apple stores" thing? Yeah... that's a little much. I don't get it for leaving flowers outside the Dakota for John Lennon... and I don't get it for leaving shit outsite an Apple Store for Steve Jobs.

If you want a fitting memorial... try to convince the producers of The Walking Dead to find a Steve Jobs look-alike and give him a gig as a zombie in an episode this season. That would be great. Except that he eats only the eyes.

Random Thought Of The Day #491

Day 491

Only 6 more days until the new season of The Walking Dead starts.

I love this show. But I think it's a combination of my love for zombie flicks, my love of good shows & my love of anything that uses comic books as it's source material.

Well... anything other than the Halle Berry Catwoman movie. And maybe the 3rd & 4th Batman movies. And the...

Oh, fuck it... just anything that was sourced from DC Comics before 2005.

But the thing is... this is just the first of a coming wave of comic book sourced materials moving from the Big Screen down to the Small Screen.

Marvel has done amazing things with their movies. Between their cohesive cinematic universe that leads up to the Avengers next year to their licensed movies like the first 2 Spider-Man & X-Men movies (the 3rd movies in both of those series sucked gigantic donkey cock) and the Blade series and a number of other movies they've done, they've done a great job. But I guess there were Daredevil & Elektra movies in there too... so maybe their track record isn't exactly perfect.

DC has done some good work with the Batman reboot, Green Lantern (Ryan Reynolds isn't quite enough of a dick to play Hal Jordan, but it was still pretty decent) and hopefully the upcoming Man Of Steel reboot of Superman. They've had a few misses in there  (Superman Returns?) but still done pretty good. And their Vertigo & Wildstorm/America's Best Comics properties have turned out to be pretty decent movies... even when they've totally ignored the source material. They still made pretty good movies out of them.

But the thing was... these were entertainment at 2-hour clips once every 2-4 years.

The Walking Dead was the first comic-sourced property to be well-transferred to the small screen. And you had to figure it would be a cable network to get it right. AMC did a damn good job on the first season. Even if it was only 6 episodes. Zombie survival? Comic-book-to-tv medium transfer? YES PLEASE! 

Spike tried a Blade series a few years ago... but that was a waste of air time. Mostly cause it wasn't Wesley Snipes in the show. Plus... well... it was just pretty bad.

But there's at least 3 more shows coming up that might turn out to be totally bad-ass comic book based shows.

Powers should be awesome. A series about a couple of cops in the Powers division of the police station. The cops that are responsible for dealing with super-assholes when they cross the line. Investigating when one of those types ends up getting their ass killed or breaking the law. I just hope they keep that dark, blue-hued tone to the lens. Then again, they turned the Walking Dead from a B&W comic into a color tv show & it looked amazing. So I'll trust those whose job it is to not fuck it up to... you know... not fuck it up.

Incredible Hulk... come on... it's the Hulk back on TV. I just hope they make him Bruce Banner this time and not fucking David Banner like in the 70's show. But hey... it's Guillermo Del Toro running it... so I trust him. Even if thought the second Hellboy was fucking stupid & had too many god damn fairy's and shit.

AKA Jessica Jones. This one should be pretty cool. Also a crime-based series but can't use the actual comic title cause... well... Alias was already used like 10 years ago on ABC once. That would confuse the fuck out of people.

"Hey, Alias is on tonight."
"Wait, I thought that shit got cancelled like 5 years ago"
"Yeah... I mean no... I mean... it's a different show"
"But it's still called Alias?"
"Yeah"
"But it's not the one with Jennifer Garner?"
"No."
"So then why does it have the same name?"
"I have no idea, but it's not the same one"
"Is it about the same thing but with just a new chick?"
"No. It's about some former superhero chick that decides to become a PI and ends up getting hired by superheroes all the time"
"They why didn't they just have a new title?"
"Fuck... got me. But it's still pretty cool"
"I'll pass... sounds too confusing already."

So yeah... But hey... Luke Cage should be popping up to ass fuck Jessica Jones once or twice in it. Well... he did it in the comic. But he won't be wearing that 70's style yellow silk shirt open to the waist & a fucking tiara cause that shit was really fucking gay. I mean, why the fuck was he wearing a tiara at all? That just never made any damn sense. I mean... I know he was all 70's black-sploitation style when he was created and all that but a tiara? Bright yellow silk shirt open to the waist? Ok... I can get that... but a tiara? No... just... no. Could you imagine anyone getting into a fight with a large black man wearing a tiara? I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough to fight back. Maybe that was his goal? Make the other guy fall over laughing and then just kick him in the head.

Shut up... it makes sense in my head.

OK... I think I'm done now.

Random Thought Of The Day #490

Day 490

So... to recap this week... I've gotten a shitload of readers from Russia. It totally has to do with my mention of pseudo-scientists looking for a gigantic hairy chick over near fucking Siberia or some shit.

And people got really bent out of shape over calling Steve Jobs a visionary just because they didn't necessarily like his vision. Ok... got it.

So since we're on the paranoid Big Brother controling our lives thing... how about some Florida school district that wants to use fingerprint scanners to take attendance on the buses. Completely ignoring the wild invasion of privacy & how forced fingerprinting of minors that attaches their names to that fingerprint that I guarantee we're one bad Judge away from being turned over to police & leading to hundreds of prosecutions for juveniles for typical teenage delinquency.... ignoring all that... when your mom drives you to school or you drive yourself... what happens then? Kids are still allowed to drive to school themselves once they have their license & get a parking pass, right? I don't know... it's been over a decade since I knew anyone still in a highschool.

And I got $50 says someone ends up jamming gum all over the scanner in the first 20 minutes. I know I would.

And on an entirely different subject... what in the world is the reason for this whole "Occupy Wall Street" thing? I'm a little lost here. This kinda reminds me of the random, stupid, pointless London riots that seem to be creeping up every few months now. What the fuck are we protesting? Cause it just looks like a lot of pissed off white college kids trying to "Damn The Man!" or something to me to piss off their parents. Seems like a bunch of people with too much damn time on their hands.

I mean... check out this guy... Yeah, you might lose your job for having a "voice" but I guarantee you're gonna lose your job for not going to work cause you're too busy standing out in the street with fucking signs, douche. And if you've been out there for a couple days, it might also have something to do with  being fucking smelly too.

But somehow... I think it's got more to do with none of you understanding economics than anything else.

I mean... yeah, the system is fucked up... but not the way you mean it. I'm not gonna get into a whole big thing, but let's just say that you get what you pay for. So when you're paying unemployment, you're gonna get unemployment... and the more money you have to throw at it means the more demand you have for it... the more supply is gonna pop up. The War on Poverty has worked about as well as the War on Drugs.

You idiots don't represent anyone other than your short-sighted ignorance of the way economics works & your shitty professors who also don't understand economics in the real world. It doesn't matter if you're throwing a temper tantrum online or on Wall Street. The only difference is that you're gonna break more shit while you're walking around NYC with the rest of the black ski-mask patrol throwing bricks thru Starbucks windows.

Granted, maybe reading a book on economics not written by someone that was so bad managing their own finance that they ran thru 2 inheritences & rented furnished apartments to sell off the furniture to keep living (or one of his disciples) might be a good start. But we wouldn't want to damage your own retarded sense of entitlement or ass-backwards world view now, would we? So keep thinking that bitching about Wall Street & demanding a lifelong pension after 20 years of work is not entirely contradictory & enjoy your ignorance. It'll work out just fine for you. After all, cardboard boxes are cheap & newspaper keeps you pretty warm in the winter.

And really... why the fuck is every 4th one of you not wearing shirts but still walking around with backpacks?

Protest style isn't nearly as cool as it used to be. I guess the way to effectively protest now is to look as much like a homeless person as possible. Bonus Protest Points for looking like you are a junkie homeless person, I think. This is nothing more than really crappy performance art. The amount of kool-aid dyed hair and stupid makeup, rubbed on dirt & greasy skin I've seen is ridiculous. I can only imagine what the sewers are gonna look like if it rains. And I thought you fuckers were also the tree huggers... you're poluting the water table, you jackasses. And all those cardboard signs? Did you use environmentally-friendly markers to make them? Tree killers!!

Oh fuck it... I give up with these idiots. I'm gonna go do some work. And maybe accomplish something today. Because my head might explode from thinking about these fuckwits any more today.

Here's some Deadpool to make up for making you look at these greasy, dirty fucks. This is how thinking of these idiots makes my brain feel:

Random Thought Of The Day #489

Day 489

I remember a few months ago... I wrote something here that might have been a little short-sighted (shocking, I know) about how the world seemed to be missing those figures... those people... the kind that change the world. We were missing those DaVinci's or Ben Franklin's or Tesla's... the kind of people that were absolutely brilliant, not just a little crazy, entirely dedicated to changing the world & so totally lacking one direct focus that they not only managed to change a field of study but the entire way that the world functions as a result of their innovations.

I was wrong... we weren't entirely lacking them... but we are now.

Steve Jobs died yesterday after a long battle with cancer. And we've lost probably the biggest innovator in the way the world functions of the past half century.

No... Steve didn't invent the computer. He didn't invent the internet. He didn't invent the tablet or the smart phone or the mp3 player or the laptop or the desktop or digital music distribution or anything like that. Hell, the guy wasn't even a terribly talented programmer. Woz was that guy in the beginning. The original Mac team were those guys. The NeXT team were those guys.

No... what Steve did was make all of these very useful but very cold & inhuman devices and apply one simple principle to them: They had to feel warm & welcoming & human to the user. He was a visionary & a salesman. He was an idealist & a perfectionist but left the "how do we do it?" up to the guys and girls that he paid to figure that stuff out. He was the perfect General. The model for the Chief Executive of any company.

Was he perfect? Not by a long shot. But he was intensely human. He fucked up sometimes. He was a dick sometimes. He was petulant when he didn't get his way. He had an ego of rather massive proportions.

But without his demanding nature, his arrogance & his focused determination, his talents as an innovator never would have been fully realized.

That determination & innovative nature pushed his company into, at least for a few moments, the spot as the largest & most valuable company on the planet. But #2 isn't exactly something to complain about when you're playing on the world stage.

Windows might have been the reason that every office desk in the country has a computer on it, but Apple is the reason why the internet is sitting in the pocket of a good chunk of the worlds population. Apple is the reason that you can sit on the crapper or on the couch watching tv and have the entire internet at your fingertips. Apple is the reason that you can go to the gym or run a marathon & never have to listen to the same song twice. Apple is the reason that you can hear a song on the radio & own the entire album or discography from that artist in a matter of seconds without ever leaving your house.

And Steve Jobs & his unfalterning focus & vision is the reason that Apple is Apple.

Not many people can claim that they made the world a better place & truly innovated the way the world communicates & shares information & media. He had a vision of harnessing the raw power of all these communcation tools & packaging them into slick, smooth, easily operated devices & turning them into Weapons of Mass Personal Empowerment. And he accomplished it. He changed the world.

That is his legacy. And in another 100 years, he'll still be remembered as the visionary that he was. He will be in that group of visionaries of a bygone time. But his impact will be felt for decades to come.

Thank you, Steve.

Random Thought Of The Day #488

Day 488

yeah... so I kinda never got back to doing the Choose Your Own RTOTD thing yesterday... I have a tendency of doing that. I get an idea and then I do nothing with it. You'll have that. But at least with some of my better ideas, I throw them out there and then someone else picks them up, does something with them, and they live on in my absence. I'm also good for that. You're welcome.

Wait a second... we're trying to find the Yeti again? In Russia this time? Or kinda close to Russia, it looks like... And the scientists...hold on... can we really call anyone seriously looking for a Yeti a scientist? Don't they tend to look like this guy on the left here? I mean, how long have we been listening to stories about Yeti and Bigfoot and all the rest of the basically-identical weird ape-man, missing-evolutionary-rung creatures and the best we can come up with is that it's fucking blurry? I think Mitch Hedberg got it right... he figured this shit out... it's not that the pictures are blurry, it's that Bigfoot itself is blurry... an 8 foot tall, out-of-focus creature in the wilderness... that's kinda shaggy too.

It's probably just a really tall "natural" feminist. The kind that doesn't shave anything. That's the problem. The camera gets terrified. If she shaved something, the camera would come back into focus. It's pissed off that you're making it look at something that hideous. The lens is trying to look away... to look at anything BUT the hairy chick you're pointing it at... and that's why the pictures are always blurry. I think the camera thinks it's also being polite by not staring.

I could probably go off on some other rant here about hairy chicks but... well... I think we can all figure out where that'll end up.

Cue the righteous idignation from someone that thinks I'm offending them in... 5... 4... 3... 2...

But you know what... yeah, I'm probably offending them. And I'm probably happy I am too. Fuck that shit. Hairy chicks are gross, yo.

Hey Yeti, they got plenty of laser hair removal stuff that's pretty cheap now. You can take care of it, my follically challenged friend. You don't have to go thru life looking like a walking 70's porn bush. But I'm not sure if they make clothes for someone as freakishly tall for you... and if you're a chick, I'm pretty sure they don't make heels for your size 32 feet, but at 8 feet tall? I'm not sure you need it. Though they do make your ass look better, Captain Caveman, so might wanna see about custom-made stuff.

Wow... for a day that I really didn't think I had anything to talk about, I managed to ramble for quite a while there.

Random Thought Of The Day #487

Day 487

I fucking hate days that I oversleep. I've talked about this before. The lack of shower & my inability to function without it.

Which sucks for writing something here... especially like 2 hours later than I try to do every other morning.

So what do you wanna talk about today? Pick a topic... I'll write something about it. It's like a game... Like Choose Your Own Adventure... but not...

Cause it always ends in tears for someone. So the end of the book will always be the same.

I think that's all I got today. I'm only 4 hours late on this now. Because I've gotten stopped twice to do work stuff. Stupid work getting in the way of my writing. They don't pay me enough to actually work.

So come back tomorrow kids... same SpaceBastard time, same SpaceBastard channel! (assuming nobody gives me a topic for the Choose Your Own RTOTD! game)

Random Thought Of The Day #486

Day 486

So I'm gonna go ahead and mention the Halloween party now. It's gonna be on the 29th & starting around 9:00. I'm gonna put up an event page and if you don't know where the house is, just send myself or @Artemis_Fallen a message.

But if we don't know you... well... yeah, that's kinda weird. Why do you wanna come to a party where you don't know the people throwing it? I mean, party crashing can be fun... but a house party for halloween? Well, I guess you could wear a mask and nobody would know who you were.

It's going to be both a halloween party & a play party. Play will be both permitted & encouraged... well.. in pretty much in any of the common areas. Which is a nice way of saying "don't fuck on my bed! but have fun on the couch or the floor."

And because it is a private party... especially one that I'm throwing, there will be *gasp* alcohol. Yeah, I know... I'm unsafe & promoting a dangerous environment. Good. It's fucking halloween... if there's not a risk of death or permanent injury, it's not a good party. Though I might have to stop people when I hear the old phrase that can only lead to a hospital trip of, "Here, hold my beer & watch this!". That might be going a little too far.

If anyone has any play furniture they want to donate the use of for the party, that would be fucking tits, yo. I'll be willing to pick it up ahead of time to things set up in time.

I'm gonna try to get one or 2 things built before then, but no promises. As of right now, the only real options are a few hard points for suspension & a cage. Sadly, I don't have any of my old-old furniture anymore & haven't had workshop space until I bought this house a few months ago.

Keep in mind though... this is the first of 2 costume parties in as many months. The November party is going to be a Superhero theme party. So save the spandex for next month, tonsafun!

I think Deadpool let himself go a little bit.
And Doc Strange might be trying to cover a bit
of a bald spot there with that rug.