Random Thought Of The Day #415

Day 415

So Super 8 comes out today. In case you don't pay attention to movies in the same obsessive way that I do, this is JJ Abrams' new movie. It was mostly filmed in... I think... Weirton, WV. So like all of a half hour out of the city here.

Basically, it looks like it's gonna be E.T.-redux.... But where E.T. is really big and smashy. And fights the army this time instead of just poking things with his flashlight finger.

Damn... I kinda want a flashlight finger now. Not to like heal stuff like E.T. did, but because it could make for a kinda hot and creepy scene. Plus, I wanna see how bright that shit is. Like... Could I see the light glow thru the skin if I finger fucked some chick with my flashlight finger?

Holy sweet chocolate christ on a crutch... I just found this...

That's totally a dildo.

And is that thing radioactive? Bio-luminescence tends to be more chemical, but who knows... Dude was an alien. And that finger could heal motherfuckers. Those creepy looking deep-sea fish with the headlights and the big stabby teeth don't heal shit. And do you remember that head and pale, grey skin? That can't be healthy. On any planet.

Oh, yeah.. I'm kinda off topic here... Movies... Right. Guess I should get back to that.

So yeah... Super 8 is tonight. JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg doing a movie together? That's hopefully gonna be as good of a Director/Producer combo as Spielberg/Lucas or whoever it was that worked together on the Police Academy movies... wait... what?

But this is in addition to a number of really good and hugely successful movies so far this year. It's been nearly a movie per week since April. I mean, so far this year, we've already had Thor, Priest (which was mediocre), The Hangover 2, X-Men First Class so far this year.  And we're still waiting for Captain America, Green Lantern, Transformers 3, Harry Potter, Cowboys & Aliens, The Smurfs, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Conan, Real Steel, another re-make of the Three Musketeers, the re-makes of The Thing & Footloose, another Paranormal Activity and probably a dozen or so more good or potentially good movies that I'm forgetting coming this year.

But fuck that stupid glam-pires movie coming out. Supid twinkly not-vampire movie.

I swear to christ, that series almost pisses me off enough to make me want to hide in a laboratory for the next 20 years and invent an actual vampirism virus just so that I can infect myself, slaughter the familes of all the 12 year old girls that think those are what vampires really are and then stand in the sun, burning alive and screaming "I DON'T FUCKING SPARKLE!!" and die. Then my life will be complete.

Oh, that might have been going a little far... hmmm... I think I'm gonna shut up now.