Random Thought Of The Day #506

Day 506

Everyone survive the weekend? No zombie apocalypse? That's kinda disappointing. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that at some point I can have a chance to fortify the house & let loose a barrage of gunfire from the upper floors at a horde of hungry zombies. @Artemis_Fallen 's windows are perfectly set up for that. And I've got the big ass, solid fucking wood doors on the front & back. But I probably do have too many 1st floor windows to fortify. That might be a problem.

Electric fence with a generator is the solution.

Wait... will electricity kill a zombie? Can you light them up with enough juice to fry the undead?

That's a thought. Why haven't we seen much of the old electric fence thing in zombie flicks? Maybe because most people don't have a generator in their house. Or the generator doesn't put out enough amps to really light one of those hungry bastards up. Yet another reason that I'm totally in support of a nuclear reactor in my basement. That'll definitely take care of those fucks.

But regardless...

I found out that the "maybe I'll stop someone when the words 'here, hold my beer & watch this' come out of their mouth" thing... yeah... totally doesn't apply to me. I think I did it in the first 20 minutes of the party too.

Everyone have a good time? Pretty good turnout. Thanks again to @GreyOne & his House for lending the furniture.

And yet again, I ended up with more alcohol left over than I started the party with. I should do this shit more often!

But with that party down, we're getting ready to start preparing for the next one. Once a month might wear me the fuck out after a while, but well... until there's something better, with a better location & someone more awesome than me throwing them, I feel compelled to fill that void. Not as a some kind of altruistic bullshit. I just like having parties.

And creating opportunities for girls to wear minimal amounts of clothing (or none at all, as tends to happen) for my viewing pleasure.

We're gonna change some things up for the next party. I don't know in what WAY yet, but we'll be putting something together to keep it from getting stale. Lighting being one thing that I'm going to change. Someone flipped on a couple extra lights & it fucked with the vibe a little bit. But I was too busy dealing with everything ELSE to notice & fix it.

But throwing these kinds of things are fun. They're a learning experience. They're fun. They're an excuse to do something social without needing to leave my fucking house. Even with how much I hate people.

Though I do need to comment/question on one thing. I got a couple people tell me they didn't come because of some asshat from out of state that RSVP'd "maybe" apparently. Who the fuck is this dude? Did I miss something? (Actually, I can probably answer that last question as "yes" because I always miss something but everyone assumes I know everything already & thus never tell me. I mean... I am the ScienceJesus & I am always watching from my high fucking horse... but I do occasionally miss a lot of the little community bullshit with keeping myself outside of the "regular" community)

But well... yeah... so get ready fuckers... I've got the a number of months theme parties already planned out. I'll start throwing out dates in the near future. But as a quick teaser preview... here we go...

My birthday. It might not be a national holiday yet, but give it time. Bikini Beach Party. Harlot-ween. Kinky Game Show Night (I'm already imagining subbie-Plinko, motherfuckers!)  Black-Out Party. Imitation Party.

Random Thought Of The Day #505

Day 505

I love halloween. I love the candy, the drinking, the dark aspect of it, the randomthrowingoftoiletpaperatthehousesofneighborsyoudon'tlike, the parties, the wildness of creativity...

But most of all, I love that it's just an excuse for girls to dress like utter & complete whores & have no concern about "does this make me look too skanky?" when they're going out with their friends. In fact, it almost seems like the goal for some of them is to out-slut their friends with their outfits.

And that's a great thing. And it's something we should promote.

So, in that line of thinking, I propose something... a 2nd halloween. In like... late April. I don't know what the fuck we could call it, but that's something for my marketing people to figure out.

Think about it... we're doubling up on most holidays now anyway. Granted, a lot of that has to do with fucking Hallmark, but still. We've doubled up on Jesus-day with Christmas & Easter. We've doubled up on days for military service men & women with Memorial Day & Veterans Day. We've doubled up on the "hey check it out, new continent...let's not die there" holidays with Thanksgiving & Columbus Day. And we've doubled up on the love holidays with Valentines & (this is the stupidest holiday name ever) Sweetest Day.

So we need to double up on the "girls dressing trampy" holidays too.

It makes sense in my head.

Oh... I got it... Whore-er Day! (yes, I know... pun-tastic)

*insert gratuitious slutty girls costumes/outfits pictures here*

Random Thought Of The Day #504

Day 504

And the Superhero party has been announced. That's the November party. You should totally RSVP... because... well... It's gonna be awesome.

We're totally giving the dogs Superhero costumes too.

Bailey is going to be Krypto the Super Dog!

And Reagan is totally going to be Dogpool.

Let's see how she does with wearing a mask. Somehow, I think this is going to end badly.

Yeah, one dog with a cape & another in a mask. This isn't going to lead to ANY problems with dogs trying to tear their costumes apart at ALL!

Speaking of superheroes.. apparently the original check written to the creators of Superman was recently found. For all of $412 to the rights to Superman.

Count that one under the list of worst deals in history.

Seriously. $412 for fucking Superman? Can I buy Batman for like $350 then? I figure he's probably worth about $50-60 less than the Man of Steel, right? He's not as big of a culture icon (though we did see Batman's garage while we were in Philly last weekend. He should probably not put a huge painted Batman symbol right on his garage door. Not a good way to hide the ol' Batcave. But I digress...) than Supes. So Bats should run a couple bucks cheaper.

Hell... I'll even go up to $1750 to adjust for inflation.

Actually... I think I'll take Wolverine for maybe $375 instead. Or inflation adjusted up to about $1900.

I mean... on the list of really fucking shitty ideas... selling the exclusive rights of a character like that has to be about the way the Native Americans feel about selling Manhattan island to a bunch of white people for some blankets & beads. A hundred or so years later, you kinda realized how badly you got hosed in that deal.

But I'd totally pay like a full $2000 for Deadpool. Cause Deadpool is totally fucking cooler than the big blue boyscout or the flying rat.

Random Thought Of The Day #503

Day 503

I've got this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I forgot something kind of important.

I have no idea what it is though.

I hate those days. In my caffeine-deprived state this morning, I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck I'm forgetting to do. And it SUCKS! This is gonna be rattling around in my brainbox for the next 3 hours. I fucking know it. And then I'm going to go "oh yeah, I left that Netflix envelope in my car & have to remember to drop it at the post office on my lunch break." or something fucking stupid like that.

Sadly, what days like this do though is distract me from being able to do any other real work either. My brain drifts off back to trying to figure out what it was that I was forgetting about frome earlier & then I realize I've been reading for the past 5 minutes and have no idea what I just read. . This, in turn, inevitably leads me back to thinking "ok, figure out what the fuck it is you're forgetting" and after another 10 minutes of not doing work, I repeat the process by trying to read, failing & thinking more.

It's fucking irritating.

And now it dawned on me that I'm fucking starving too. Must hunt fuuds shortly.

On an entirely different note, I'm really looking forward to the Halloween Play Party. And I have to give some serious thanks to GreyOne for hooking us up by letting us borrow a number of pieces of equipment.

It should be a good time. If you haven't already put in an RSVP for it... well... what the hell are you waiting for? I mean, what else can you ask for? Kinky fun, good people, booze, a number of pieces of play furniture to use, food, and me. You won't get that anywhere else.

Because remember... I AM the fucking party.

Random Thought Of The Day #502

Day 502

You know what's disappointing? I never get the full-body search when I go thru any security lines. I never get it at the airport. I didn't get it this weekend when we did the Eastern State Penitentiary haunted prison tour thing in Philly.

Hey... I wouldn't mind a little sexual harrassment & some groping.

Though the last time I flew, I did get my toybag inspected by the TSA. I had it packed well & my clothes packed in there to keep everything in place, but sadly, it didn't last. By the time I got to my destination, my bag had been gone thru, everything was out of place & I had to re-pack the toybag part of it. It was kind of annoying.

I got the little note from the TSA telling me "your bag was randomly selected to be checked.". Thanks, assholes. I kinda figured that out.

But they didn't give me a personalized note like they did to some chick that had her back searched on the way to Dublin. They left her a note that said "get your freak on, girl!" when they found her vibrator in her bag.

I don't get a groping. I don't get a personalize note. I'm totally playing the sexism card here. The TSA is sexist against giving us men a good groping or even taking a moment to personalize our "we fucked up your shit because the x-ray machine told us you were a freak" card.

That's some bullshit man... I demand my TSA groping & if you're gonna go thru my stuff, at least tell me which of my toys you liked the most! It's my right as an American, dammit! Equal RIGHTS!!!

Random Thought Of The Day #501

Day 501

I got back from Philly yesterday and while I love my friends, I have to say that I'm "socialized-out" a good bit. 48 hours or so straight of around a bunch of even the closest friends will kinda do that. I think I need to spend a day or 2 kinda decompressing & just hanging out at home. And considering that I've got like a half-dozen things that need fucking fixed, that's how I'm going to do so.

But in my decompressing this morning in the office before I start doing any real work, I came across something kinda interesting. Something that a number of my readers might be intrigued about. Something that I think should be common sense, but might not be.

Porn is slowly eating away at our libidos. We're becoming desensitized to sex & nudity and everything else thru our easy access to online porn.

Basically... we're overdosing on it. The standard fare porn stops doing it for us after a while and we need to find something harder or stranger or more exciting. I think a lot of us kinky fucks realize that to one degree or another. At least in our porn tastes.

But some Italian university did some sort of research study on it and has found that it's also affecting us in the bedroom as well.

It's leading more and more to ED at younger ages.

This makes sense. We get so stimulated by the scripted, choreographed, idealized porn situations, actors & actresses, and all of that, that when the real thing doesn't match up to the fantasy, we are less excited. We are less capable of "performing" because it's not at the same level of wild & erotic as the porn we mentally & subconsciously compare it to. The experience doesn't match. And the thing is, the real thing rarely matches up to the fantasy. The lighting isn't the same. The depravity isn't quite the same. The situations don't work out as perfectly as they do on video.

In real life, we have to stumble around and fall over out of the excitement of trying to get out of our jeans. We get our shirts caught over our heads while trying to yank them off too quickly. We lose footing while trying to get into "complicted-position-X-that-we-saw-in-that-porn-the-other-day" and fall on our faces. We have to stop and find the lube and then fumble around trying to line it up when we try to put it in her ass. The rope takes time to tie right without cutting off circulation or is too hastily done and slips loose in the middle of the session.

Long story short... sex is clumsy & imperfect in real life. It's not as easy or perfect as porn. Our partners might not be as vocal or we might not be. That wildly crazy kinky thing we saw on that video the other day might be something we have to talk to our partner about and ease them into or we might get flat-out told "no" to it because it's a hard limit. That doesn't happen in porn. Or we and our partners don't have the time or money to put hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars into our bodies the way porn stars do. They or we might not match up to our fantasy.

Not as funny as those "your brain
on drugs" ads from back in the day.

And because of the overdosing on the fantasy, we're unable to accept these minor imperfections in partner or situation and can't maintain the same kind of arousal level that the porn gives us. We get lost in the fantasy & can't accept that real life isn't as ideal as porn shows us it is. We become detached from realistic expectations. We start NEEDING the idealized situations of porn to get us going or keep us going.

This study was apparently only performed on straight men (to the best of my knowledge), so it doesn't really apply to women or non-hetero males. I didn't read the actual study, only the synopsis & commentary on it.

But it can explain a few things. Guess too much of a good thing isn't such a good thing after all.

RTOTD #500.1 - Classic Re-Post Edition

Day 500.1

Day 31

Dear Great Pumpkin,

As your spirit is to Halloween what Santa Clause is to Christmas, I have decided that you are obligated to give me gifts as well. I believe that most people will agree with me on this subject and they will reply below.

As such, here is my list of free shit you may give me:

a deathray gun

a monkey

the remote control that allows me to kill the person on tv

a teleportation device large enough to transport my car

magical powers

vodka

gold

and guns

all of these are acceptable gifts. If, by any chance, I do not receive any of these or if I get pumpkin seeds or some other such bullshit in my Jack-o-lantern hung on the mantle or placed under the pumpkin vine decorating my living room, I shall track you down, eviscerate you and bake a wonderful pie with your internal organs, or whatever that mess is.

You have been warned, Great Pumpkin. I demand free shit.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly, Neighborhood Mad Scientist

I figured... in honor of both the time of year & the Day 500 celebration, we would re-post some classic Random Thought Of The Day posts from FetLife.

Tell me which posts you think are classic & I'll re-post them.

Random Thought Of The Day #500 - The Virus Edition

Day 500

God damn... I feel like I've been counting down to Day 500 for the past 2 weeks. It's weird. Like it's a bigger milestone for me than anything else I've hit so far. I mean, really... it's just another day. But today, I hit day 500. It's also 100 days (or is it 101? my memory & brain math sucks today) since I brought this blog/column/feature/waste-of-time back from the dead like a fucking zombie.

And like a zombie, it is mindless, without direction, seeking only to feed on your brains & probably goes after fat people more than those with more endurance because they can't run away as fast.

So... I have to ask... other than the Mad Libs Editions (yeah yeah yeah... I know... everyone wants more Mad Libs RTOTD )... tell me what YOU want to see more of in here.

Also... I'd like to get an idea of the total number of readers that I have on FetLife. So if you read this stupid shit more than once a week, just say so in the comments. Otherwise, I might have to beg the caretakers or the site admins to see how many page views each of these pages gets. And they're going to probably tell me to fuck off. Or go all Unibomber on me. Or something.

Now... that I've gotten that out of the way... on to more important things.

*silence*

What? You expect me to talk about something important?

I remember saying something a while ago about the new world & communication & creating your own virus to spread around this new world.

Well, this is part of my virus. This waste of your time that I manage to cobble together in a caffeine-&-alcohol-deprived state every morning. This is part of my virus. But the thing is, I'm not satisfied.

Yesterday, I made mention of the rampant attention whoring that the internet & facebook & all these other social networking things creates. But the thing is... we all do it. I'm doing it right now. I'm pandering to you, trying to get a laugh out of a bad joke or some kind of insult aimed towards one group of people or another. My virus is partially that of playing the court jester on here. I spew bullshit, piss some people off, make others snicker & generally write this as much to amuse myself as I do you.

I throw out some random Deadpool picture to make you chuckle & to comment on how much this whole world & the new world of the internet age is a joke. And I do my damnedest to live as a punchline for that joke.  That's another leg of my virus.

I point to the interesting as well as the ridiculous of the world & play the infotainment role. But that's not the whole of my virus.

I play the asshole to amuse & to take the brunt of the criticism & hopefully let someone else fix some of the shit that's wrong in the small worldof the community. To maybe make people think "I don't just have to do what everyone else is doing. I can do my own thing & not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. I don't have to just go along with the status quo." and maybe improve things or at the very least, question authority.

So why don't more of you create your own virus? This column is part of my virus. Start building your own.

Random Thought Of The Day #499

Day 499

Does anyone even actually use their Facebook account?

I mean, other than seeing which people I graduated with got fat, got ugly, had kids or got married, I NEVER use it. I don't play any games on it... I don't really care about any of the ads they have. I don't care to "like" anything on there. I rarely even look at other people's status updates. And I'm lucky if I post 2 status updates myself each month. I never link it to my Twitter or Foursquare. To be honest, it seems like just another useless social networking tool that doesn't actually network you with anyone you don't already know but haven't spoken to in a decade and it's not so much social as just another way for people to scream "pay attention to me!!"

Now, that's not to say I don't sit here every day and write shit without the expectation that people are going to pay attention to me. It's not to say that I don't enjoy watching the conversations that are brought up my rambling bullshit here. And that's not to say that this thing isn't my own form of screaming "Pay attention to me!!".

But considering that everyone I WANT to talk to, I have their phone number or e-mail address... it seems pointless for me to care about what they had for lunch & what photo they "liked" or what cause they're pushing or anything else. Mix that in with not giving a holy fuck about what these other 338 people that I used to know in highschool are doing, what their stupid kids or ugly wives are doing or thinking or any of that other crap... it seems more of a hassle than anything to maintain a facebook account.

Plus, once they got away from the "real people" thing, allowed nicknames & starting throwing the feeds of "random band X" or "random author Y" into your feed just because you read a couple of their books, it seems like it's pretty much just become MySpace version 2.0 with a news feed & games.

Maybe if I was a huge picture taking person or something. It's infinitely more useful as a cloud storage service for photos than most of the other sites like Flikr or even Instagram or Picassa or whatever. But since I've probably taken a dozen pictures that weren't for work in the past year, I don't really need it for that.

So I have to ask... is there really even a point to having one anymore? There doesn't seem to be any real reason to maintain it for me. Maybe if I played some of the games or gave a shit about some girl I kinda knew in highschool talking about how her kid was scared of the lightning last night and climbed into her bed, I could see keeping it. But at this point... I see no reason.

Ok... I think I'm done now.

Random Thought Of The Day #498

Day 498

Hey fuckers... remember to RSVP for the halloween party. Be there or be... I don't know... somewhere else? Doing something less fun? *shrug* I don't know... just fucking come.

That was the friendly reminder for the day.

On an entirely different note... what the fuck is going on with these people in Philly?

A secret creepy basement dungeon (and not the fun kind) with people locked up for years as part of a scam.  Like 10 kids locked up in there too. And they're not sure they even found all the people that might be kept locked up. WTF?

All it's missing is some cannibals to be a Rob Zombie movie.

Random Thought Of The Day #497

Day 497

You know... I kinda wanna get your opinions on this based on the discussion yesterday:

Do you prefer the quiet, more sensual atmosphere when you play? Or do you prefer the louder, wilder club-type atmosphere?

What about drinking? I'm not talking about drunken idiots. I just mean being able to have a couple drinks if you want.

I mean... ignore the space issues for a moment and the camera issues. Pretend everyone is obeying the photography policies & that people are giving you the space to play while the place is still crowded.

What kinda atmosphere do you prefer?

Personally, I prefer the lound, club-like atmosphere. Though that's strange since I generally hate clubs. I prefer the more low-key bars over the lound flashy clubs. But for play, I'm the exact opposite. Loud & fast music, dark with the strobe lights. That kinda thing. I think it gives an energy to the atmosphere that some slow "mood" music doesn't.

I mean, I don't need to hear the sounds of a flogger hitting someone's back. I can check in with my play partner with talking close if I have any concern about their reactions. And for the usual checking in things. So the noise doesn't bother me. The drowning out of individual voices into a sea of talking & laughing & bass & all that is kinda good. I like it. I don't want quiet. I hate quiet. I don't know why. I prefer chaos. I can't really explain it. Maybe it's cause I'm not very vocal when I play. I think the louder the venue gets, the more electric it gets & then the more vocal I become.

And I really prefer to be able to have a drink before or after a scene. That doesn't make it "unsafe", as long as you're a fucking adult that knows when is "too much". But I can understand the reluctance of some. But for me? It's not really a PARTY without some booze. I don't mean stumbling drunk ass-bags, but just something to get the vibe a little looser.

But hey, that's just me... what about you?

Random Thought Of The Day #496

Day 496

The Man. The Myth. The Legend.

Or according to some guy I don't know at that Fetish 101 party on Saturday night... the Unicorn of the BDSM Scene.


If I had Photoshop skills, this would end up being a
unicorn with a mushroom tip & wearing leather pants.



"Bigger then Jesus. Bigger than wrestling. Bigger than Beatles & Bigger than breast implants. Gonna be the biggest thing to hit these little kids. Bigger than guns. Bigger than cigarettes."

I found this amusing. I mean, how else are you supposed to reply to being called a unicorn? But I am amused enough that I'm totally stealing it. Now I just need a dildo horn on my forehead. I'm Doktor Unicorn. That doesn't have quite the ring to it that the ScienceJesus does. Or JoeMyGod!

Wait as second... I hope this doesn't mean that I'm glittery. If so... I'm totally blaming the strippers for that.

But back to the party.

I was rather impressed at the flow to it. I liked the party/bar atmosphere to it mixed with the play.

Is it sad to say that I was most pleased that I didn't have to hear anyone get all "holier-than-thou" about the mix of play & booze?

Also on that note... how has Drunk Rope not become a thing? Make someone get drunk & then tie them up? Or at the very least, try to play some jump rope. I mean... that's pun-tastic & would be greatly amusing to watch! Or it can be called "First one to fall flat on their face while their hands are tied behind their back loses!". It could be the new drunk kinky party game where everyone but one person wins!

Regardless... once again proving something I've been talking about for a while now to be correct... an event that appeals to both the gay and/or leather community & the kink community can be rather successful.

Now, there were some issues. People complaining about the smoke. But fuck... it was no worse than 80% of the bars/clubs in the city that aren't also restaurants. There was also issues on space & effective space use. It wasn't a terribly big space. And with all the people there, it definitely made things cramped. But there were pseudo-DM's there to keep people away from scenes. And a lot of the peanut-gallery were effective in keeping the really drunk people from getting right into the middle of a scene. Especially that dude that was drinking a pitcher of something that looked like rum & unire thru a straw.

That dude was fucking TRASHED.

I was also confused to find out that Ke$ha & Lady GaGa are "REAL FETISH MUSIC!"

I guess if you have a fetish for glitter or ugly, manly chicks with a fucked up fashion sense. And no... I'm not going to post any pictures of either of those to fucking trainwrecks on here. I won't even pollute my own google image search history for that. And I just spent the last 15 minutes searching for a funny face planting picture too.

But hey... overall... it was a pretty decent party.

Random Thought Of The Day #495

Day 495

Apparently leaving a list of your passwords & their associated services or whatever in your Will is now a thing. And it's probably going to become an even bigger thing in the future with all the Cloud-based date storage services, paperless account statements, online banking, and all the rest of that stuff. I guess it's probably a good idea...

I mean, your iTunes account is basically your CD collection of the present & future. Your paperless billing for your utilities & banking is the only way to even find account numbers at this point unless you're still a neanderthal and use paper billing & write checks. Who the fuck writes checks anymore? Unless it's to some company still working in the stone age. Like pretty much any government entity. And the Gas & Water companies.

But this is kind of a strange change to me for some reason. I can't quite put my finger on the "why" as of yet, but something about it bothers me.

I mean... being kinky and all, I already have my plans in place in case of a freak car accident, shooting, meteor strike or spontaneous combustion from walking into a church... I have someone whose job it is to quickly & quietly destroy one specific external hard drive (which I should probably get moved onto just a flash drive eventually) with all my porn on it. I think my ridiculously slutty punk chick, body mod & watersports kinks are something that my parents can be spared from needing to sift thru to find actual important information like banking & tax records.

I also have someone whose job it is to take care of making my toybox disappear. Though with it's ever-growing size, maybe their job will just be to set the house on fire instead. But all the rope, the floggers, toys, paddles, canes, chains & whatever else is there... they all go.

But that's all I was worried about when it comes to death-prep plans.

Now, I guess I should probably put something together for all of my passwords & whatnot. But it still creeps me out a little bit for some reason.

You know what just dawned on me... I was watching Castle the other day & they had an episode with some cryogenics company that would come grab your body up the minute you died to throw your ass into the deep freeze.

A business to dispose of your porn & sex toys & anything else you don't want your parents, kids, grandkids or whatever going thru if you are also a victim of a freak shooting, meteor strike or when you spontaneously combust from stepping foot in a church. You pay me a retainer fee & hook a brother up with a key & when you drop dead, it sents off an alarm in the ScienceJesus' Laboratory, the "Porn Signal" (similar to the Bat Signal... but with porn) lights up the sky and I hop in the Doktor-mobile, bust into your house, rip out your hard drive & generally play the role of the Cleaner before mom, dad, aunt suzy, grandma rosa & that kid who is still a disappointment shows up to start going thru your crap & finding your Will.

The same one that accidentally throws in your FetLife password along with your banking information.

I could totally make money off this.

Random Thought Of The Day #494

Day 494



 Hold on... Florida is looking into changing their death penalty law. Some Republican down there sponsored a bill to eliminate the Lethal Injection option and go old school. You get your choice between the chair & a firing squad.

That's fucking awesome!

I can understand lethal injection for dogs & cats and stuff. They're old & sick or they're vicious or whatever... put them to sleep. That's fine. Even the vicious ones didn't do anything to deserve any sort of pain when being put down. They just reacted naturally. They're animals. So I get that.

I just never quite got the "let's be all super nice & considerate to the feelings of a death row inmate" thing. I'm not saying "let's lock them in a Cuba-style 4x4 prison cell with spikes on the walls" or anything... but I think we worry far too fucking much about their comfort and what is "cruel & unusual".

I know... I'm probably not one to talk about this, but I was always more in the camp of "if you make it brutal, we make it brutal on you too, fucker" when it comes to punishment. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone on death row should end up at the point of a gun, but still. You go shooting people... well, fair is fair, boss.

But I don't think electric chair or firing squad goes far enough.

Let's bring back Drawing & Quartering. When's the last time someone got drawn & quartered? Well... maybe in Texas. But still.

Tell me that wouldn't be amusing. And you figure... if you gotta go out... go out in a memorable fucking way, yo!

Or maybe force them to stay awake and watch endless re-runs of Hee-Haw & anything on Lifetime.

Random Thought Of The Day #493

Day 493

It's kind of an exciting few days for the geek in me.

iTunes 10.5 came out yesterday with iCloud access. iOS 5, iCloud & a few other things were live today. The iPhone 4S comes out Friday morning...

Samsung is selling Galaxy S II phones for $2 to compete with the iPhone. Yes, you read that right... they rented a whole storefront down the street from an Apple Store to sell a $200 phone for $2 to get people to switch. Talk about determination to take a chunk out of Apple's market share & fire another shot in the ongoing war between those 2 companies. It's kinda funny to watch this one. Yet they're still doing business with each other with Samsung providing components for a number of Apple products.

And I have to say...  the new Find My Friends app for iOS5 is stalker-heaven! It constantly shares your location with your friends after it's turned on (you have to turn it on). It's kinda awesome. Though you're totally gonna have to explain to your wife why you're showing up in the Strip Club all the time. Or at that pay-by-the-hour motel off Route 8. Cause she's gonna know some shit is going down if you don't turn it on so she can see where you're at. So yeah... stalker-iffic fun. Apple... making cheating or having fun harder since 2011.

But that was nothing compared to the sheer awesomness that was the Avengers trailer going live yesterday. I know @DoNotGoGently & @Sybele were creaming themselves when they watched it. I kinda jizzed in my pants a little bit watching that. And I bet at least a few of you were kinda at least at half-mast from watching it. And there was Hulk-y goodness at the end. Though I'm still not sold on "I'm-such-a-sensitive-man" Mark Ruffalo as a replacement for Ed Norton.

But fucking Robert Downey Jr. needs to just see if he can change his name legally to Tony Stark. He's kinda perfect for that role. He has been since the beginning... I'm pretty sure the casting went something like this:

Casting Agent - "Robert, what we need is for you to play an alcoholic, womanizing, pill-popping, billionare with a bunch of cool toys and a snarky sense of humor"

RDJ - "hmm... I'm not sure about this..."

Casting Agent - "just play yourself... but with cooler shit and more money"

RDJ - "oh... ok... that works"

Casting Agent (Looking at Jon Favreau) - "It was that or Charlie Sheen... but he was busy wearing bowling shirts"

Jon Favreau (to Casting Agent) - "good call"

But I do have to say... I'm pretty sure Chris Evans wants to be in every comic book movie ever. He's done like 7 of them now or something.

The Avengers, The Losers, Scott Pilgrim, 2 Fantastic Four movies, Push, Sunshine, Captain America & something else that I know I'm forgetting and am too lazy to look up on IMDB. I think he wants to just become a superhero.

And Scarlett Johansson's boobs in more black leather... mmmm... *pause... spacing out*...

what was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. I like tits. Bigger the better. Well... unless they're all floppy or mis-shapen and stuff. NICE big boobs. Yummy. Boobs.

I mean... who doesn't love tits?

Deadpool even loves it.