Top 4 (Or Is It Bottom?) - RTOTD #844

Day 844

I just saw a map of the US with a list of the things that your state is worst at and a lot of things popped out at me. So, I'm just going make a couple observations here.

1. Pennsylvania: Arson. This is what we're best at. Or worst at? How do you describe the bad thing that your state does very well? Is that being best because they do it well, or worst because it's an undesirable activity? Oh fuck it. Pennsylvanians are really fucking talented at Arson because... well... is that really a thing here? This one did kinda strike me. I don't even see a lot of fires on the news. There's one every few days and only once or twice a month do I notice they mention it as arson or suspected arson. But so I guess we're good at burning shit down. So effectively, Pennsylvanians are a bunch of pyromaniacs. GREAT. Must be why fire play has been big around here for a while. It's a controlled way to let out our desire to burn all of the things. Or all of the people.

So yay for coping mechanisms, I guess?

2. Deleware: Abortion - I guess since it's right next to Philly, New Jersey and DC, and it's about as big as my back yard, it's probably gonna say "oh fuck it, just kill everything. We don't have the space for any more kids anway. And we probably don't have an economy to support them either."

Because when was the last time you looked at anything and noticed that it was made in Deleware. The only thing I can think of when it comes to Deleware is dirty beaches. It's like France without the Bic corporation. Nothing is built there and I immediately think "dirty" when I think about it.

3. Nevada: Crime - I'm shocked... SHOCKED, I tell you, that the state with Las Vegas and the mob has a problem with crime. There's nothing else to really say there except that Nevada has reached the expectations.

4. Washington (State): Bestiality - Wait a fucking second here.... Where in the blue jesus on a pogo stick did this one come from? This is actually such a massive problem in Washington that it beats out heroin and the rest of the disaffected youth and homeless teenagers (or is that Portland? I thought it was Seatle) in that state? Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell animals do you even have to fuck there? Bears? I think of the pacific northwest and I think fucking bears. Are people routinely fucking bears there? Is that a thing? Out of every single problem that a state where it rains 99 days our of 100, the biggest problem is bestiality and NOT suicide or drugs or fucking ANYTHING that doesn't involve doing the nasty with animals.

Denizens of Washington State need to remember that "making the beast with 2 backs" does not need to actually involve a beast. Holy jesus... I really don't have any other words. Well, I probably have a million more words but holy fucking hell man... STOP DOING THE DIRTY WITH FIDO OR YOGI BEAR!

I think that's all the states that I feel like getting into today. I just... Washington State... jesus. I give up. That's sad. You're all cut off from having pets until this stops.