The Opposite Of Anger - RTOTD #879

Day 879

I've realized something recently that (I guess) I've always kinda known, but not really acknowledged before now: I've been an angry motherfucker for most of my life. I rant. I berate. And in the process, I can be kinda funny sometimes (if you don't have a stick up your ass).

But the thing is, I'm not nearly as angry anymore. I don't know if it's because I'm not as depressed as I've been in the past. Or if it's because I'm not single since I've spent so much time in my life generally single. Or if it's because I'm just getting older and mellowing the fuck out. Or if it's just that I've become so cynical that it's morphed into apathy that I can't even muster up the energy to scream about anymore.

So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm kinda happy anymore. I'm getting to that age where the stupid shit that I used to scream about doesn't even phase me anymore and I just don't even really care about all the silly shit out there that I used to.

I don't give a fuck about community politics anymore because I've realized that everyone is a fucking moron and that won't change even if the idiots in charge today get replaced tomorrow.  They'd just be replaced by other idiots with ego-boosting agendas to compensate for their... fucking whatever.

I don't care about making friends with new people or finding new play partners because I've got the few friends that I really care to spend time with and I've got a great girl that I'm happy with, even when she drives me up the fucking wall.

I don't care about whatever bullshit "causes" that everyone seems to get up in arms about and I don't care about some stupid god damned airplane that crashed on the other side of the planet. In fact, I don't even turn on the news anymore because I could tell you everything that happened without watching it. You just have to substitute the date and location and I guarantee that it's yesterdays paper all over again.

The downside to all of this is that it's killed this blog. Yelling about shit and making fun of idiots has been the whole point of this thing since the beginning. And being happy pretty much murdered the source of my content. And I'm sure as shit not going to fake outrage.

With that said, I have no idea what the future holds for this formerly-daily insight into what's pissing me off on any given morning. I also don't know what the future holds for writing the 2nd book either. I'm considering just cancelling it at this point because I don't think I even really care enough to dig back into it since I hat virtually everything that I've written this point. And I can't fake that either.

They say that comedy often stems from depression and maybe that's the case with this. Because while I'm still occasionally stressed about shit, I'm no longer depressed about anything. I'm no longer angry and I'm no longer in a place where I give 2 tugs of a dead dog's cock about what anyone else is doing. Hell, I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just felt compelled to write it. And since I rarely feel compelled to write much of anything anymore, I also decided that it should get posted.

I don't know how to end this blog so I'm just going to stop writing words now.

An Unpleasant Delay - RTOTD #842

Day 842

I've got a bit of bad news... the next book, Booze, Bondage & Bad Decisions is going to have to be delayed.

I didn't think I would be killing myself to get this one out by my desired date, but I can almost guarantee that it won't be done in time. Much less edited, a cover designed, and everything put together in time for my expected December 12th release date.

The reason is pretty simple actually. I hated almost half of it. This isn't like last time where I wrote something and I re-read it so many times during initial self-editing that I started to hate it. No, this was as simple as I didn't think half the stories in it were even that funny. Or hot. Or stupid. Or crazy. No, they were just fucking boring. These weren't the stories I wanted to write. They were something that I was using to fill space and it wasn't worth the time. Not only that, but because of my ridiculous writers block, I wasn't doing a very good job even with the funny ones. Seriously... how do you get writer's block when writing true stories of shit that happened? I don't know. But I'd blank on details and forget other things and then remember that that wasn't all 1 story, but 2 stories and try to clean it up and lose the charm and whit and wacky bullshit that made them great in the first place. Instead, I ended up with a dry piece of shit.

And fuck that noise. I'm not gonna release something like that. If you don't laugh like an idiot at least a couple times in each story and chuckle for most of the rest of it, it's just not worth putting in a fucking book. Right?

Well, so I've scrapped like 1/2 of it and I'm back to like... step 2 out of the 7 or 8 steps involved in getting one of these things completed and released. So I'll have a new date for you in the next few weeks. I'm in the process of editing the stuff that I DID like right now and I'm going to throw them in a folder to not fuck with them and just worry about putting together the rest of the book once I'm done before coming back to them for a final edit right before I release it.

So this is just my pre-emptive apology for those that expected new reading material right before Christmas.

So I'll let you know a rescheduled date once I get back to writing the funny stories to replace the shit stories I threw away. But if I had to guess? March? Maybe? I'm not certain yet. Maybe earlier. Depends on how busy I am between now and when it gets done.

Final Week! - RTOTD #823

Day 823

This is the last week that Hold My Beer & Watch This will be free to download. So get it while it's ... you know... free.

Here are all the links again in THIS POST

So go and steal from me. Because we know that you're all a bunch of cheap bastards. And apparently $2.99 was too much to spend on it.

After Friday, the price goes back up in anticipation of the next book due out in... oh fuck. 4 months? I've still got like 1/2 of it to get written. I should maybe try doing some work on that again soon and stop just drowning myself in plasti dip & mindless jibber jabber about nothing on the intertron.

Blah. I'm getting in that "I'm losing interest" mode again and nothing is speaking to me. Nothing really has spoke to me in a week or 2 and I'm frustrated about that. Maybe I just need to stop trying to write a column every day and just focus on throwing out whatever nonsense is in my head again. Even if it is just a day where I ramble about music, comic books, sluts, booze or how much I really hate you all.

So fuck you. This is the best you're gonna get today.

And in honor of the new Doctor Who casting, here's who SHOULD have been cast as Doctor Who:

Because you know what the world really needs is a new Doctor that talks to himself even more and then breaks the 4th wall as a part of everyday life while knowing that he's a fictional character.

Although Warren Ellis probably would have been a good second option. Because I can only imagine how must of a clusterfuck that would have been.

FREE BOOK!

I announced this on the IGNITION post, but figured I'd post it here as well as Fet

iBooks finally updated with the free revised and updated version of Hold My Beer & Watch This that I put together with iBooks Author (which was kind of a nightmare to figure out, by the way...

Here's the LINK

So if you have an iPad, go get it for free. Ignore the 2.99 version (it hasn't updated to take it down yet) if you just do the search in iTunes. It does NOT work on an iPhone though. Fucking weird thing. Maybe I'll do another version that will work on the iPhone. (Edit: apparently anything written in iBooks Author does not work on iPhones. ePub versions only)

And if you just want the epub version for any device not named Kindle, Here You Go

And finally, I THINK this will work... but the free Kindle version HERE

So share this with people. I seriously want people to read it for free. And let me know if any of the links don't work right.

IGNITION - #808

Day 808

Cover your ears & shield your eyes... The vacation is over. Your favorite Internet Bastard is back. And everything is about to get bloody.

But that's just the beginning. If that was all that a 30-day countdown led to, that would just be fucking lame.

No, I'm here to announce a lot of things today. There's so much news you probably might need to come back a few times and double-check that you didn't miss something.

First of all, yes... the daily blog is back. The RTOTD is off hiatus and will be a daily feature again beginning today. And it's not getting any more focused than it was last time. In fact, it's going to be even more random than before. Ever since the first hiatus and when I moved this thing to being primarily hosted on Blogger for Day 400 and beyond, I avoided talking about BDSM community shit and well.. it sucked. Because there was nobody there to point it out for you when bad ideas happen. That ends now. Nothing is off the table.

There are no rules anymore, children.

Now that that's out of the way... on to the announcements that you're probably more interested. I'm just gonna make a list that starts with the biggest ones:

I'm announcing a release date of December 12th (My birthday) for the 2nd book. The official title is Booze, Bondage & Bad Decisions. It'll be available in print as well as ebook again. There's some final details I'm working on now, and I might change the print publisher depending on a few things, but it'll be available once again in any format you want. Hardcover, paperback, epub for your iPad, Nook or general e-reader and mobi for your Kindle. So keep an eye out.

With that announced, that leads me into my next announcement.

For the next 30 days, the ebook versions of Hold My Beer & Watch This is FREE!!!!

But only in iBooks store, or direct from Lulu Press. Sorry, but I can't give away the print versions because somebody has to pay for the paper and stuff. And while I'll be awesome and give away the ebook version of my first book, I won't pay for your paper for the print versions. Go to one of the links on the side of my blog site or just search on iTunes for "Hold My Beer & Watch This" and download it for free until August 3rd, 2013.

Sadly, I wanted to make it free on Kindle, but the best I could do was $0.99 cents. So it's damn near free, but seriously.. 99 cents? Shit, if you can't jump on that then what more do you want? Hell, I bet you can find that in your couch cushions when you get home.

And I'm still fighting with the Nook store to make it free. The best I can do there is $0.99 for some reason. Keep in mind though, getting it directly from the Lulu Press store is the same as getting it from the Nook store. It's the same file. It's still the same epub file that runs on your Nook (if that's what you've got) but it's simple a question of who gives it to you.

It might take a day or 2 for the changes to kick in in all the marketplaces, but keep checking back if it's not showing up as free yet. It'll switch over. I'm not going to be too anal about the 30-day timeframe. It might be 35 or 40 by the time it's over, but I wanted to make it 30 for the time being.

And to go along with this, I'm also going to announce that the new design for Epsilon Phi t-shirts has been completed. Check it out below!

I'll be opening up orders (paid in advance) for new t-shirts via paypal in the next week or so. I'll make a specific announcement for them with a price after I'm done shopping all the printers. I'll get into more detail when I make the announcement for shirts. I want to have them in-hand for the Kinknic.

This part isn't really news but Epsilon Phi had been asked and made a decision to be a financial sponsor of the Kinknic. We will also host a watergun fight and a cigar social. Bring your own cigars if you want something specific, otherwise I'll try to order a case of 20 or so cheap cigars for anyone that wants to join in but didn't bring a cigar or forgot theirs.

Next up is a project that I've been working on for a little while now but I'm going to be using Blogger to host primarily. The Bimbo Project blog has been something I've been doing on Tumblr for a little while now and I'm going to be moving it to Blogger. It'll still be mostly hosted on Tumblr, but I wanted to throw it up as a different way to interact than Tumblr. So if you're even mildly interested in Bimbofication, you should totally follow The Bimbo Project on Blogger and if you want to follow both that and the random porn that I reblog, follow me on Tumblr. Yes, it's pretty much filled to the brim with porn that is totally stolen, but fuck it. It's no worse than Google Images. Except more organized.

So you'll be occasionally getting 2 full blogs some days when I have something new to add to the Bimbo Project blog. There's about 7 or 9 blog posts there and they're all a pretty deep thought about the practical aspects of Bimbofication. And I think I might be focusing my thoughts on the topic on that blog site.

And the final thing I wanted to cover day is the most simple. It's a reminder to everyone... everywhere.

Daddy is watching. Daddy is always watching.

Behave.

This Is Only A Test - RTOTD #802

Day 802

Over the past week, I've got 90% done with a major revision to Hold My Beer & Watch This. There's no new material really, just some serious editing done on it. And to be honest, the first time around... I liked the product. I just didn't love it. This time around...  fucking LOVE the book that it's turning out to be. Seriously... if you didn't but it yet... no joke... WAIT. Just wait. Don't buy the eBook. Don't buy the kindle. Don't buy the print (especially don't buy the print book). Just wait. I did some cool shit with it this time and to be honest? I think it's quite possibly something that I'm going to look at shopping to publishers now. The editing worked wonders for the way it flows.

The first edition is like the RTOTD edition of the book. I sat down, banged it out, did some minor revisions and then threw it out into the wilderness to see if it would survive. It did. To a degree.

But this version is much more of a finished product. It might lose a little bit of that punk rock writing vibe of "fuck editing, fuck publishing, read this shit!" that the first edition had, but it gains a lot too. I made it more visual. If you can really make something that you're reading with your eyes visual. But I guess that means no James Earl Jones to do the audiobook unless it's going to include a music producer dropping in samples from time to time.

To give you an example:

So I guess there's just new presentation and a little more exposition but not really new material.

But I'm mostly writing this just to test out the way BDSMfriendBook's blog integration works and if it'll update there as I update here.

If so... it might mean that the mirroring to Fet is not long for this world. But we'll see.

We'll see.

And in case you haven't heard yet... the next book has a title:

Booze, Bondage and Bad Decisions

Because apparently I like alliteration.