The Opposite Of Anger - RTOTD #879

Day 879

I've realized something recently that (I guess) I've always kinda known, but not really acknowledged before now: I've been an angry motherfucker for most of my life. I rant. I berate. And in the process, I can be kinda funny sometimes (if you don't have a stick up your ass).

But the thing is, I'm not nearly as angry anymore. I don't know if it's because I'm not as depressed as I've been in the past. Or if it's because I'm not single since I've spent so much time in my life generally single. Or if it's because I'm just getting older and mellowing the fuck out. Or if it's just that I've become so cynical that it's morphed into apathy that I can't even muster up the energy to scream about anymore.

So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm kinda happy anymore. I'm getting to that age where the stupid shit that I used to scream about doesn't even phase me anymore and I just don't even really care about all the silly shit out there that I used to.

I don't give a fuck about community politics anymore because I've realized that everyone is a fucking moron and that won't change even if the idiots in charge today get replaced tomorrow.  They'd just be replaced by other idiots with ego-boosting agendas to compensate for their... fucking whatever.

I don't care about making friends with new people or finding new play partners because I've got the few friends that I really care to spend time with and I've got a great girl that I'm happy with, even when she drives me up the fucking wall.

I don't care about whatever bullshit "causes" that everyone seems to get up in arms about and I don't care about some stupid god damned airplane that crashed on the other side of the planet. In fact, I don't even turn on the news anymore because I could tell you everything that happened without watching it. You just have to substitute the date and location and I guarantee that it's yesterdays paper all over again.

The downside to all of this is that it's killed this blog. Yelling about shit and making fun of idiots has been the whole point of this thing since the beginning. And being happy pretty much murdered the source of my content. And I'm sure as shit not going to fake outrage.

With that said, I have no idea what the future holds for this formerly-daily insight into what's pissing me off on any given morning. I also don't know what the future holds for writing the 2nd book either. I'm considering just cancelling it at this point because I don't think I even really care enough to dig back into it since I hat virtually everything that I've written this point. And I can't fake that either.

They say that comedy often stems from depression and maybe that's the case with this. Because while I'm still occasionally stressed about shit, I'm no longer depressed about anything. I'm no longer angry and I'm no longer in a place where I give 2 tugs of a dead dog's cock about what anyone else is doing. Hell, I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just felt compelled to write it. And since I rarely feel compelled to write much of anything anymore, I also decided that it should get posted.

I don't know how to end this blog so I'm just going to stop writing words now.

Final Week! - RTOTD #823

Day 823

This is the last week that Hold My Beer & Watch This will be free to download. So get it while it's ... you know... free.

Here are all the links again in THIS POST

So go and steal from me. Because we know that you're all a bunch of cheap bastards. And apparently $2.99 was too much to spend on it.

After Friday, the price goes back up in anticipation of the next book due out in... oh fuck. 4 months? I've still got like 1/2 of it to get written. I should maybe try doing some work on that again soon and stop just drowning myself in plasti dip & mindless jibber jabber about nothing on the intertron.

Blah. I'm getting in that "I'm losing interest" mode again and nothing is speaking to me. Nothing really has spoke to me in a week or 2 and I'm frustrated about that. Maybe I just need to stop trying to write a column every day and just focus on throwing out whatever nonsense is in my head again. Even if it is just a day where I ramble about music, comic books, sluts, booze or how much I really hate you all.

So fuck you. This is the best you're gonna get today.

And in honor of the new Doctor Who casting, here's who SHOULD have been cast as Doctor Who:

Because you know what the world really needs is a new Doctor that talks to himself even more and then breaks the 4th wall as a part of everyday life while knowing that he's a fictional character.

Although Warren Ellis probably would have been a good second option. Because I can only imagine how must of a clusterfuck that would have been.

Outside - RTOTD #781

Day 781

The more time that passes, the more I'm feeling the mixed bag that comes with not being involved with the "community-proper". Not when it comes to missing anything that it really provides, as much as just being able to comment on the goings-on and bullshit politics of it.

Now, while that's probably nice to some extent, it also makes this column kinda boring at times. There are days where I kinda almost wish I could see the childish crap that I still hear about, just so I could make fun of it and comment on. And then there's a lot more days where I'm so fucking happy to not have to watch the bickering, politicking, whining, tantrum-throwing that is far-too-prevalent.


I kinda want this thing to be more kink-relevant at times. I want to sometimes comment on the goings-on of the community. Except I can't actually bring myself to be involved anymore. Is that strange?

So how about this... what non-community-related kink topics would you like to hear thoughts on? I kinda want to start using this column for more kinky topics of conversation, but I really don't know what you want to read at this point. At least when it comes to kink.

Maybe I'm just hitting a spell of writer's block. I haven't even been working on the Bimbo Project blog on Tumblr either. Which is something that I REALLY want to devote more time to.

So let's hear it. What kinky topics would you like to discuss?