Just Turn Out The Lights & Exit To The Right - RTOTD #815

Day 815

Cleveland... I lived in you for a little while about a decade ago and while I didn't entirely hate you, I didn't like you very much either. But you really need to go back to bed because I think you might be a little drunk.

I wrote a blog post a little while back about how there must be something in the water up there that makes people go crazy. After the past few years, I am certain of it.

I could go back as far as the Torso Murderer and a few other crazies but just in the past few years, you had that Alt.com serial killer and the creepy fuck that kidnapped those girls and kept them chained up in his house (not in the fun way) for like a decade until that dude was outside eating his magical lucky Big Mac and happened to stumble across them and call the cops. And then today... I checked the news and oh look... another god damned serial killer in Cleveland that killed women.

There's just gotta be something in the water. I know that I felt it maybe a little before I moved out of there and kinda started losing my goddamned mind. Probably took me another year or 2 being away from that place before I started coming back to some semblance of sanity. And the craziest bitch I ever stuck my dick in was from there too. In fact, outside of about 2 people I met while I was there, there wasn't much sanity that I found in that city.

I really think this might be justification for firebombing that city into oblivion. Because it's now reached the point of being endemic of the region. Crazy motherfuckers everywhere. Between that and the Browns and just generally your history of sports loserdom, I really do think you've lost any justifiable rights to remain in existence.

So please, exit to the right and go find a new city. The City of Cleveland has been condemned. It's going to be knocked down next week and then after the scrap is salvaged, we'll just let the Earth reclaim it. Cause ya'll motherfuckers hate women up there. With every one of these crazy fucks, women are the victims. And while I think most of the feminists out there are batshit fucking crazy, how are they NOT screaming for heads to roll up there? Cause I think Cleveland DOES have a war against women going on.

Down The Rabbit Hole Redux - RTOTD #804

Day 804

Wait... so a feminist at UConn is throwing a hissy fit over the new UConn Huskies school logo. She even wrote a letter to the president of the university about it.

What is her complaint?

The new logo is too intimidating looking and conjures images of rape and sexual assault.

Because of a logo. A cartoon drawing of a dog.

I'm going to pause and let that sink in while reminiscing about other times feminists decide to opine about things regarding sports and how fucking retarded they often sound to anyone with an ounce of common sense.

I hope she knows that the Girl's Basketball team is also wearing those jerseys with that logo.

"Oh shit, what's that? Is that my teammate about to pass me the ball or a dog waiting to rape me?!?! I don't know! I'm terrified because I'm just a girl and can't tell the difference between a cartoon drawing on a shirt and sexual assault!!"

This is weird, because for some reason, I seem to remember talking about something very similar to this once before in the past. Hmmm...some little thing about rape and sports and feminists going off the deep end about shit (which is sadly too often) and losing their goddamned minds. Didn't I write some little note on Fet that might have been TOTALLY ignored and nobody ever read... hmmm... what was that one about?

*EVIL GRIN*

And I also vaguely remember something about male feminists.

I gotta ask though... since this broad thinks an aggressive cartoon dog reminds her of rape, is her letter an admission that someone might have done some naughty things with a dog? Or maybe she just had some nightmares after watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Cool World. I know... it freaked me the fuck out to see Doctor Emmett Brown turn into goop at the end of that movie too.

Seriously... that dude hasn't aged since before Back To The Future came out.

You all are free to tell he how horrible of a human being I am in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...