Alcohol: The Mother of All Invention - RTOTD #877

Day 877

I've realized something when it comes to sport. Or at least, Olympic sports:

Every single one of them are either games invented (or likely could have been invented) as ways for children to get exercise or they're games that seem like they were invented by drunken assholes because alcohol.

I don't even give a fuck about the summer Olympics. Sorry. But it's lame. 87 versions of swimming is dumb? Some spinning and jumping and flipping on the ground is boring. And running around in a circle track is like an even suckier version of NASCAR where everyone forgot their car. Would you give a fuck if Dale fucking Earnhart and all those other idiots just run around the track? No. Because it's gay. That's what virtually every track event is. NASCAR without the cars.

Winter is so much better. Granted, it's just 147 different versions of losing your footing on slipper surfaces and compensating for it in some way, but still...

But consider most of them:

Downhill skiing? Totally a drunk guy strapping boards to their feet and grabbing 2 sticks to have something to hold onto and then his buddies betting on whether he could make it down the hill. Once they all managed to not die sliding down the hill and the pot was pretty big? We know what happens next: drunk guys betting on which drunk guy will slip down the hill fastest. Instant sport.

Snowboarding was invented just to make it more likely that the drunk guys would see someone kill themselves sliding down the hill. "Oh, you guys all managed to make it down with 2 boards strapped to your feet. How about we make it just 1 and see how you fuckers do!".

How about Hockey? Everything in Canada is frozen for like 19 months a year and they are born with skates strapped to their feet (how that doesn't kill the women coming out is beyond me, but those Canadians are mysterious folk) so they all know how to skate. But skating around all winter isn't even as much exercise as walking to the 7-11, so they invented hockey because they were fucking bored and the kids were getting fat since they weren't getting as much exercise as even walking. So boom. Hockey gets invented to keep Canadian kids skinny. And they can only have 1 John Candy so a bunch of fat Canadians couldn't even be useful.

Curling?  Well... that was absolutely another drunk guy invented sport. I'm pretty sure it went something like this:

Guy #1: "I wanna bowl!"
Guy #2: "I like shuffleboard!"
Guy #3: "I wanna play horseshoes!"
Guy #4: "I'm a janitor and don't sweep enough shit at work!"

All 3 of them then realize that everything is a sheet of fucking ice and their only option is a fucking rock because they can't get to the bowling alley. So they grab the rock, and start trying to hit a spot that they arbitrarily pick about 50 feet away and realize they suck at it so they paint a target on it. They still suck at it so they decide to compensate for friction in their drunken haze. Because games invented by drunk people always get more complicated the longer you play them until nobody remembers how the game works and it essentially leaves every spectator that inevitably stands to watch the drunken fools play their game standing there with that confused-dog head-tilt thing. So they start sweeping shit after shoveling fails and like some strange wintery magic, they can all start hitting the fucking target. Another sport is born.

The Biathalon was simply created because too many drunk people snow-stumbling home from the bar thru the woods got stuck and froze, so they slapped skis on their feet. That worked to get them thru but then they all started getting eaten by bears. So they started carrying rifles. Awkwardly slide thru the woods for a while. Stop and shoot the bear that's about to eat you. Lather, rinse and repeat. That's pretty much the genesis of that one.

So there you go. Games by drunks or to keep kids from getting fat in Canada. The winter Olympics are essentially the Canadian version of Hillbilly Olympics, really. So there you go.

Expiration - RTOTD #876

Day 876

I'm letting my FetLife support expire.

It seems weird to do it since I've been a supporter for so long now that I barely remember NOT being a supporter. I didn't even think about it. It was just the way it was.

But I don't really make use of it at this point. Hell, I barely even write this fucking blog anymore (mostly because I couldn't give 2 shits about much of anything anymore and very little actually even registers on my radar at this point) and almost never check Fet more than once or twice a day for like 30 seconds; often going days between even glancing at the site.

I ignore my inbox. I barely feign interest in the couple groups that I "run". And I could not give a fuck about what anyone said more than 10 hours ago.

Not to mention that this place is virtually dead anymore.

Please don't misunderstand me here. This isn't some lame "I'm leaving [insert X website/social media service/message board thing] forever" performance art bullshit. That shit is fucking dumb. This is just a realization that I had.

I have no need to support FetLife at this point. It isn't providing me a service that I'm making any sort of use of, and while I totally support its purpose and John's devotion to making it into a tool that has radically changed the kink landscape and the way that kinksters interact and communicate and organize as a community, it's just not my bag at this point.

In the past, I might have still supported and thrown my money at it just to hope that my couple bucks might help them with expanding that mission or at the bare minimum, keep the lights & servers running for another few hours. But out of a sense of caring for fostering the kind of community that I wanted to interact with even when I wasn't making use of it.

Now though? Something has changed for me. I've just reached a point of apathy for any of it. For writing this blog. For providing time, energy and space. For entertaining and volunteering. Or for working to facilitate the kind of community that I wanted to be a part of, as opposed to one populated by whiny attention whoring tantrum throwing children-of-absolute-tolerance-for-everything-as-long-as-it's-not-something-that-we-don't-agree-with and over-compensating self-important bores that we have allowed ourselves to be content with.

Now I just don't care enough.

I mean, more power to you all that have the energy to keep going. I don't right now. More power to those of you that actually use this place for building something cool instead of the snore-inducing drivel that we have had for far too long now. And more power to you providing an alternative to the status quo milquetoast that is vast majority of the community in this corner of the state.

But who knows? Maybe I'll eventually recharge my batteries and care enough to support again and get back out there, causing ruckus, being a trouble-maker and inducing headaches for people and organizations that I think are bloated, contradictory, over-complicated, sometimes insane (the "don't stick your dick in it" kind; not the fun kind) and generally bland houses-of-cards waiting to tumble down upon themselves.

But for the time being, I don't think I'm going to be supporting shit.