A man in Houston is suing a stripper for his Harry Potter DVDs (as well as some cash & a laptop or something). He claims they were a loan to a girlfriend. She claims that they were gifts from a regular.
Ok guy... look... I know that you should know this shit by now, but I'm just gonna have to learn you a thing about strippers.
They are human beings doing a job. Some are great people and some are no better than a common con artist. Either way, their job is partial wish fulfillment & ego stroking. Their goal is to get you to think that they're interested in you and get whatever material goods from you that they can. So if you think a stripper is into you because she spends time with you at her place of employment and you give her lots of gifts & money that she thanks you for, then you've done nothing but prove that she's good at her job. That doesn't mean that you're dating her. If she gave you a sob story about her rent or phone bill or kids and you picked up the tab for her for a month, that doesn't mean you're dating her. It means you've got more money than brains.
Which brings up something else... dating strippers. I can comment on this because I've had both the fortune and misfortune of doing this a few times. I generally don't give a fuck what a girls profession is, as long as she's not a money sucking leech. And money sucking leeches come from all walks of life. As far as I'm concerned, that she's a stripper is no different than anything else. It's no different than meeting any other broad at her work since she's in a service/entertainment industry and I was there to be served/entertained. No different than a waitress or a bartender or a yoga instructor... who am I kidding... there's no way I would ever meet a yoga instructor at her work. That would involve me going into a yoga studio. HA! Not gonna happen.
But still... you're meeting a girl at her job. That her job involves taking off her clothes for money is irrelevant. It's no different than being a regular with the same server. Just because the same girl brings you your burger and coffee twice a week doesn't mean you're dating. And just because she accepts your 20% tip with a thank you doesn't mean you're dating.
So with that said, let's examine a few way to determine if you're dating that stripper or not:
First, if you are NOT 100% sure that you're dating that stripper... you're not dating that stripper.
Second, if you ARE 100% sure that you're dating that stripper, there's a 90% chance that you're still not dating that stripper.
Third, if you have never spent time with that stripper outside of the club, then you're not dating that stripper. And if you've paid for her company outside of the club, then you're only dating her if you also think you're dating the slutted up girl that walked up to your car at a red light & asked if you want a date.
Fourth, if you've ever paid for anything more than on-stage tips or MAYBE a lap dance, you've got fuck-all chance. Sorry man. Just the way it is. You're a wallet now. You might be a wallet with a good sense of humor or a nice personality, but you're just a wallet. A regular and a set amount of money they can rely on when they see you walk into the club.
Fifth, unless she's been to your place for a holiday, you've met family or pets, or hung out with friends and none of these outside-of-work interactions that anything to do with money, you're not dating that stripper. Note: meeting any or all of these requirements do not guarantee that you are dating that stripper. If so, then there's probably another half dozen strippers I've "dated" and not realized it. In fact, if you can't pick up the phone and make plans with her like you would anyone else you're friends with, I can guarantee that you're not dating.
Sixth, sorry... there's a 99.9% chance you're just not dating that stripper. Why? Because you're one of a thousand dudes that they've met in the club to in the past few months and assuming they even date customers, they're likely only dating 1 or 2. And the math says that probably ain't you.
And on a personal note, I've always had a litmus test for determining the interest level of a stripper that I've met at a club & is down to meet up off-the-clock to get to know each other better if there's some chemistry: if on the first "date", she doesn't at least demand to go dutch on drinks/coffee/dinner, I immediately decide that there's no potential for anything else. Sorry ladies, but that's just how I do it. I can guarantee that I've been wrong a few times in both directions and it's not fool-proof, but it's a pretty good litmus test and has worked out reasonably well for me to this point.
So sorry, Guy-In-Houston... you are either an idiot, a total mark, or fell down the naiveté tree and hit every branch on the way down if you think giving gifts to a stripper that she accepts makes her your girlfriend. You just fell for the oldest stripper trick in the book. Also, you failed Common Sense 101.
