Infamy - RTOTD #807

Day 807

There's days where I can't tell if I have a little bit of fame when I meet new people or if it's more infamy. I've had the experience a few times. I've met new people who are like "I know you" and others who have said "you're that writer guy" and even others that have said "oh.... you". I can never quite tell if it's fame or infamy. Granted, on a small scale, but still.

And the other thing is... I can't quite figure out which one is better. Is it more fun to be someone that people already know before you even say hi. Or is it more fun to be that guy that people argue about from afar. Because I've experienced a good deal of both since I originally dug this (previously) daily column up from the ash heap of my old Myspace account circa 2007 and turned it into a thing that people looked forward to reading. And to be honest, I'm not sure which I like more: The guy people love or the shock jock.

Though I guess the guy in the black hat doing shit to piss people off and make enemies and hurt feelings IS a lot more fun.

Slug:

"I want a fanbase full of jealous husbands and ex lovers"

I bring this up because I woke up this morning and decided to check Fet for shits and giggles. I haven't been looking there, much less posting ... well... anything in like 2 months. I figured I should at least check in and see if anything cool came up. What do I see? Half my damn feed was filled with a bunch of people fighting. That's not shocking. That's all the damn thing is useful for anymore. But the topic was kinda suprising because it was about me. It was this dueling blogs back & forth thing between some chick I kinda knew a little bit and met once or twice a few years ago and a bunch of people who I couldn't pick out of a lineup.

But the best part of it all was this: Every single one of them are 1,000 miles away in a city I've never even been to. I don't think I could even pick Jacksonville off a map, to be honest. I know they have a shitty football team and an ass-load of strip clubs. But that strip club thing might be Tampa. I really have no concept of relative locations in Florida. It's America's wang. That's like me caring about where anything is in California or Canada or Detroit. They're all foreign countries that speak a mixed bag of gibberish swirled in with poor english. I just can't bring myself to and if they all fell into the ocean, nobody would care.

While that was all interesting enough, the biggest thing I'm still curious about is where the fuck this came from? I mean... ok, it's the spring. At this point, I can set my watch to the "it's spring, time to put Joe's personal life under the microscope again" thing, but I'm at least used to it being a local thing.

Quit changing this shit up on me.

I'm over here minding my own damned business and somehow the argument popped up again, except 1,000 miles south of where it normally does. It's not even like I'm sitting around and doing commentary on the community anymore. I got out of that business a while ago. Commenting on that shit is just asking to get dragged into a cesspool of idiots, pretentious asshats, and moral crusaders who think they knew better than everyone else.

And I really don't feel like trying to wash the smell of that steaming pile of horse shit out of my clothes.

So I'm gonna go back over to my corner and keep working on the 2nd book, decompressing a little bit, watching hockey, and being actually quite mellow. I'll let ya'll keep fighting about some mysterious person 1,000 miles away who none of you actually know, with 2nd and 3rd hand information, and yelling at each other. I might even sit in with a little bag of popcorn. But I have to tell you... this does prove something:

If this is infamy, it's kinda cool, because I'm a narcissistic ass and a bunch of borderline strangers devoting that much effort to fighting about me does nothing but feed my ego. So thanks for that.

There's Something In The Water - RTOTD #806

Day 806

There's gotta be something in the Cuyahoga river to explain this. I mean, the motherfucker caught fire once. That's gotta tell you something.

Cleveland is slowly climbing the list of craziest kinky fuckers in the world.

Yeah, I know some of you that I know from out there are going to get pissy about this, but there's gotta be something in that water. Because every time I hear about another kinky psycho, they end up with a Cleveland connection.

I kinda love this dude. He's awesome.

I'm sure we all heard about those girls that had been kidnapped and held for like a decade in some Cleveland suburb by some lunatics. Apparently 3 kinky brothers And I don't mean black guys. They would beat them and make them crawl around in the backyard naked on leashes.

Don't get me wrong... beating bitches and pet play is hot and all. But the non-consensual kidnapping play part? Maybe not so much. Well, unless the "victims" just really sucked as a person on every conceivable level. But at like 16... it's hard to accomplish that level of suckitude.

Brother, though? That's a whole new level of weird. 3 totally random dudes that all happen to be kinky and decide to take that shit to the next level with actual human abductions and everything? Ok, yeah. I guess I can kinda see it happening. We get these human trafficking rings all the time that involve a group of like-minded people, but 3 brothers? Well... that's just gotta be something in the water at that point. Didn't I see an episode of X-Files that went like this one time?

Hell, Sadistic Switch and Other Joe are twins and even they're like "hey yo, I think I'll do my thing over there cause it's way too weird with my brother right here." Do you know why? CAUSE IT'S FUCKING WEIRD!

If this was an isolated thing, I'd probably let it slide. If this was New York or Boston or LA or Chicago? I'd probably let that slide too. Millions of people and you're bound to have a couple crazy kinky fuckers that do nutball shit. But Cleveland? Every couple years, we're hearing about another one or a serial killer or some shit from there.

Don't we all also remember that one guy from a few years ago that used to scour ALT.com for girls? That one liked his women like he liked his coffee. Ground up and in the fridge. Or in his backyard. Or buried in his basement. Or on his living room floor. Except when he kept the heads elsewhere.

Hey, I lived out there for about 2 years. It was the worst 2 years of my life. Well, almost. The 2 years that I was sometimes fucking the DeadEx was pretty shitty too. But living in Cleveland was fucking shitty. I could totally see why they snap the fuck out and go loonie. I mean, didn't the Torso Killer teach us that living in a place like Cleveland kinda eventually does that shit to you? I know I probably would have lost my shit if I had to live in that hellhole for much longer.

Though the women ARE eminently more slutty out there. Or maybe just easier. I had a different one in my bed every few weeks for most of the time I lived there, and I had all of 3 friends there. Mostly because... well... you people like Baseball. And Basketball. And the Browns. What the fuck did I have in common with any of you? If' that and occasionally swimming in meningitis infested Lake Erie (oh dear god) was all I had to look forward to, I'd probably go nuts too.

At least Pittsburgh only has to worry about random rampage shootings. That's a whole lot more normal than kinky fuckers that kidnap teenagers and beat bitches and chop them up after knocking them up or whatever the fuck these kinky fuckers out there are doing.

You all need a fucking hobby. Or a new place to live. Maybe if Wendy's didn't close at 6:00 on a sunday night,  you'd be less apt to murderfy some broads.