Day 879
I've realized something recently that (I guess) I've always kinda known, but not really acknowledged before now: I've been an angry motherfucker for most of my life. I rant. I berate. And in the process, I can be kinda funny sometimes (if you don't have a stick up your ass).
But the thing is, I'm not nearly as angry anymore. I don't know if it's because I'm not as depressed as I've been in the past. Or if it's because I'm not single since I've spent so much time in my life generally single. Or if it's because I'm just getting older and mellowing the fuck out. Or if it's just that I've become so cynical that it's morphed into apathy that I can't even muster up the energy to scream about anymore.
So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm kinda happy anymore. I'm getting to that age where the stupid shit that I used to scream about doesn't even phase me anymore and I just don't even really care about all the silly shit out there that I used to.
I don't give a fuck about community politics anymore because I've realized that everyone is a fucking moron and that won't change even if the idiots in charge today get replaced tomorrow. They'd just be replaced by other idiots with ego-boosting agendas to compensate for their... fucking whatever.
I don't care about making friends with new people or finding new play partners because I've got the few friends that I really care to spend time with and I've got a great girl that I'm happy with, even when she drives me up the fucking wall.
I don't care about whatever bullshit "causes" that everyone seems to get up in arms about and I don't care about some stupid god damned airplane that crashed on the other side of the planet. In fact, I don't even turn on the news anymore because I could tell you everything that happened without watching it. You just have to substitute the date and location and I guarantee that it's yesterdays paper all over again.
The downside to all of this is that it's killed this blog. Yelling about shit and making fun of idiots has been the whole point of this thing since the beginning. And being happy pretty much murdered the source of my content. And I'm sure as shit not going to fake outrage.
With that said, I have no idea what the future holds for this formerly-daily insight into what's pissing me off on any given morning. I also don't know what the future holds for writing the 2nd book either. I'm considering just cancelling it at this point because I don't think I even really care enough to dig back into it since I hat virtually everything that I've written this point. And I can't fake that either.
They say that comedy often stems from depression and maybe that's the case with this. Because while I'm still occasionally stressed about shit, I'm no longer depressed about anything. I'm no longer angry and I'm no longer in a place where I give 2 tugs of a dead dog's cock about what anyone else is doing. Hell, I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just felt compelled to write it. And since I rarely feel compelled to write much of anything anymore, I also decided that it should get posted.
I don't know how to end this blog so I'm just going to stop writing words now.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Up Is Down & Black Is White - RTOTD #878
Day 878
Oh Chicago, how much I loathe you. There is nothing about you that I like. You're a 3rd world city that has never understood its own stupidity and this is yet another example of it.
It has come to my attention that you've decided to re-invent the philosophy of transportation in your city. And who, might you guess, gets the highest priority when designing roads? Cars? No? Why? Oh, I guess you're right. Of course not. That would be silly. I mean, it's not like paved roads were essentially invented to accommodate cars or anything. No.
So if it's not cars, it must be buses, right? I mean, I can see that. If you want to put bus routes in then the roads have to at least be able to accommodate the buses that you're using then because sometimes a tight turn prevents a bus from making that turn, so if you design a road with buses in mind, then cars obviously can also navigate them pretty well. But wait, what's that? No? Not buses either? Wow, that's weird.
So if it's not cars and it's not buses, then it must be bicycles then, right? I mean, you're one of those "progressive cities" that thinks that bicycles are the pinnacle of enlightenment because "environmentalism" or "sustainability" or "insert your favorite pseudo-scientifically-proven cause that will get rebuffed next week but come back en vogue in a few years before we repeat it all over again", right? But you also think that banning all firearms will cut down on crime but somehow always end up being the firearms murder capital of the country. Weird. So it's gotta be bicycles, right? Even though it doesn't make a fuck bit of sense, bicycles HAVE to be the top priority when cars and buses aren't. There's not many things left that it could be. So it's bicycles, right? What do you mean "no". If it's not bicycles, then what the fuck is it?
Pedestrians? Are you fucking kidding me? Pedestrians are now the priority to be kept in mind when designing streets? You don't see the stupidity in that? No, it doesn't make sense. Do you know why? Shut up. Do you know why designing streets to suit pedestrians and even sometimes banning cars on a street makes no fucking sense? SHUT UP, I'M TALKING! Do you know why it's fucking stupid?
Because pedestrians already have their own fucking streets. THEY'RE CALLED SIDEWALKS!
So here's the deal, Chicago and every other stupid place that somehow has jammed their head so far up their ass that the whole world is upside down (because that's the only conceivable way that this could make a fuck bit of sense to anyone with more than 2 firing neurons)...
When pedestrians start getting priority in the streets and street design, I'm calling dibs on priority for my car on the fucking sidewalk. Let's see how this works out, since you wanna make all this shit backwards anyway. I'm just going to take it to its logical conclusion.
People in the streets. Cars on the sidewalk. This is going to be SUPER.
Oh Chicago, how much I loathe you. There is nothing about you that I like. You're a 3rd world city that has never understood its own stupidity and this is yet another example of it.
It has come to my attention that you've decided to re-invent the philosophy of transportation in your city. And who, might you guess, gets the highest priority when designing roads? Cars? No? Why? Oh, I guess you're right. Of course not. That would be silly. I mean, it's not like paved roads were essentially invented to accommodate cars or anything. No.
So if it's not cars, it must be buses, right? I mean, I can see that. If you want to put bus routes in then the roads have to at least be able to accommodate the buses that you're using then because sometimes a tight turn prevents a bus from making that turn, so if you design a road with buses in mind, then cars obviously can also navigate them pretty well. But wait, what's that? No? Not buses either? Wow, that's weird.
So if it's not cars and it's not buses, then it must be bicycles then, right? I mean, you're one of those "progressive cities" that thinks that bicycles are the pinnacle of enlightenment because "environmentalism" or "sustainability" or "insert your favorite pseudo-scientifically-proven cause that will get rebuffed next week but come back en vogue in a few years before we repeat it all over again", right? But you also think that banning all firearms will cut down on crime but somehow always end up being the firearms murder capital of the country. Weird. So it's gotta be bicycles, right? Even though it doesn't make a fuck bit of sense, bicycles HAVE to be the top priority when cars and buses aren't. There's not many things left that it could be. So it's bicycles, right? What do you mean "no". If it's not bicycles, then what the fuck is it?
Pedestrians? Are you fucking kidding me? Pedestrians are now the priority to be kept in mind when designing streets? You don't see the stupidity in that? No, it doesn't make sense. Do you know why? Shut up. Do you know why designing streets to suit pedestrians and even sometimes banning cars on a street makes no fucking sense? SHUT UP, I'M TALKING! Do you know why it's fucking stupid?
Because pedestrians already have their own fucking streets. THEY'RE CALLED SIDEWALKS!
So here's the deal, Chicago and every other stupid place that somehow has jammed their head so far up their ass that the whole world is upside down (because that's the only conceivable way that this could make a fuck bit of sense to anyone with more than 2 firing neurons)...
When pedestrians start getting priority in the streets and street design, I'm calling dibs on priority for my car on the fucking sidewalk. Let's see how this works out, since you wanna make all this shit backwards anyway. I'm just going to take it to its logical conclusion.
People in the streets. Cars on the sidewalk. This is going to be SUPER.
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