Random Thought Of The Day #577

Day 577

Can we have a new death cult pop up sometime soon?

I miss them. We haven't had one in a while. And the dude running it has to be like 100 and look kinda crazy. Like this guy:

What was the last one? Heaven's Gate? And that was in the 90's, right? There was another one too right around the same time though, wasn't there? Or am I just remembering poorly?

And then way back in the day, there was Jamestown. But there had to have been a couple in between. I know it. I don't remember them or what any of them were called, but there had to have been a couple.

Where did all the cool death cults disappear to? I mean... we're getting closer to the "End Of The World"... you'd think they'd be springing up everywhere to preempt the whole "we're all gonna die" thing from the earth being sucked into a black hole or the sun going supernova or the Rapture or Mortimer, the Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse...wait... oh... I'm the only one that is warning about Mortimer.



Mortimer

 He's totally a Heeb. I mean... Mortimer? that's totally a Jewish name. But he's probably some old crotchety dude too. Cause I don't think there's anyone on the planet named Mortimer that's under 75. And I bet he has caramel candies in the pockets of his plaid golf pants.

His sidekick is named Chad. Chad is a total WASP. I bet you couldn't guess that though. Seriously... when's the last time you met a dude named Chad that wasn't some fratboy looking doucherocket that you kinda wanted to punch just from looking at him.



I bet his name is Chad

 I bet he also has a popped collar on his pink polo shirt. Toolbox.

But yeah.. where did they all go? Can't we get a Jim Jones version 2.0 to show up sometime soon? Get a bunch of crazies and head off to some crazy commune?  ... I can think of a few that we could TOTALLY ship off and nobody would miss...

wait what? I didn't say that. Nope. I didn't. I think you're mis-reading me. I'd never suggest throwing the crazies in the community on a boat and sending them to a super-lefty-vegan commune in the middle of nowhere and leaving them with a lot of purple kool-aid. Never. Ever. Nope.



Wait... that's not Rick Santorum... or is it? I can't quite tell.



It's only fair. The GOP apparently found their Jim Jones... his name is Rick Santorum. Someone tell me where to deliver the purple kool-aid to those idiots. It's my gift to you and the world.

Just as Mortimer is my gift to the world. Wait... I think this means I started a death cult.

Random Thought Of The Day #576

Day 576

Here's a quick hit bunch of thoughts today rather than a long rambling post on 3 or 4 topics that I manage to connect with Deadpool or something equally pointless:

1. You know what would be an awesome costume for the Furry convention?

Voltron

And if you can't figure out WHY that would be an awesome costume... well... I just have no hope for you.

2.  The NHL Trade Deadline was horribly disappointing yesterday. There's nothing really funny here. It just kinda was.

3.  While re-watching the original cartoon G.I. Joe movie the other night with DoNotGoGently, we realized how many of the characters in that cartoon were totally stereotypes of Leatherman fantasies. Especially fucking Gung-Ho. Dude was a walking Leather-man's fantasy. Seriously... go check out some of the pictures of the old 80's cartoon GI Joe characters... wow... I don't think I ever realized it until now.

4.  While I'm at it, all you fuckers better be doing SOMETHING to support DoNotGoGently while she runs for IMsL. She is looking for donations for the auction baskets that the competitors put together. So come on, people. Give up some schwag for her. With all the shit she's done voluntarily and time she's donated to organizing shit locally and around the country, it's the least you can do.

I mean... she even asked nice and said pretty please!

I don't ask nearly as nicely. I demand, fuckers.

So donate... or I'll track you down and gut you in your sleep. Or just beat you with a sock full of nickels. Or something.

Wait... some of you might like that. You know what I mean.

5. And back on the topic of GI Joe... Dude... my man-crush on the Rock and my love of comic book movies and 80's toy nostalgia makes me NEED to see the 2nd GI Joe movie that's coming out. Yes... I admit a man-crush on the Rock. Shut it.

And there's even more awesome ninja shit in this movie. I mean... mountain climbing ninjas? D.O.N.E. Come one... that's just awesome. But really... I know we train a lot of soldiers to be good at hand-to-hand combat... but we really need more ninjas in military service. While wearing all kinds of ninja armor shit.

In fact, we just need more ninjas in general.

6. Apparently I am on an cartoon & toys nostalgia kick recently. I guess it was only a matter of time before I reverted mentally to being 8 again.

Ok... I think that's it for today.

So the lesson today?

You need to support my wildly hot, deserving, and generally awesome girl for IMsL. And give her all the help she asks for. Seriously. I'll track you down if you don't.

And I have a man-crush on the Rock. Use that however you want.

Random Thought Of The Day #575

Day 575

Wyoming wants an aircraft carrier.

That makes sense. Really. It really does. I promise.

Is there some kind of unwritten rule about how when one side of the aisle goes nuts, the other has to to equally or more insane? Cause while it provides for great comic fodder, it really is probably not the best way to govern.

But since the GOP in Wyoming want an aircraft carrier, I think maybe I should make some ridiculous requests of the taxpayers. Since I haven't asked for free shit in a while (which none of you have given me as tribute yet... I'm still waiting for that beer-fetching monkey and death ray, fuckers!)... instead, since I want free shit & it's approaching St. Patty's Day... I think I'll make my demands to the magic St. Patty's Day Leprechaun:

Dear Leprechaun,
     As you are to St. Patrick's Day what Santa is to Christmas, the Zombie Jesus is to Easter, and the Great Pumpkin is to Halloween, I demand the following:

1. A case of Whiskey. But it better not be that north American bullshit. Irish whiskey only. American whiskey tastes like fucking swamp water. Probably. I don't know. I don't often drink swamp water.

2. A orbital platform death ray. Because if Wyoming can feel the need for something as impractical as an aircraft carrier, I can totally at least make use of a lunar orbiting death ray. I might need to blast the shit out of something with a death ray at some point. And I don't have to find a port of call for a death ray in fucking space. So actually, that's more practical than an aircraft carrier for Wyoming. But I'm reasonable, so I'll settle for a terrestrial death ray too.

3. Your pot of gold. Because if Wyoming is right, that shit is gonna be worth some BANK when the world collapses. And even if they're wrong... fuck... it's free gold, yo.

4. Tin foil. Because apparently, the primary defense mechanism for the crazies to use as hats will also be wildly valuable. Or maybe it already is. Has anyone checked the price of tin foil recently? Even if it hasn't, I bet books on oragami are totally skyrocketing. Cause folding that shit without it ripping is a nightmare.

5. I'm still waiting for my beer-fetching monkey!

6. Your Lucky Charms. Yeah, bitch. I want your Lucky-fucking-Charms. Don't make me sick Count Chocula's retarded friend Frankenberry on your ass.

7. A computer built into my brain so that I can constantly watch hockey games and netflix in my head.

I think that this is all for now, Mr. Magical Leprechaun. I demand my free shit. Or I'll start setting fire to every clover I find, 3 leaf or 4. And I'll find a way to destroy all rainbows so that you no longer have a place to hide that pot of gold. And when I'm done, I'll find a way to move the Guinness factory to the United States and further destroy Ireland's economy that doesn't come from the sale of guns or blowing shit up.

Love,
Joe

Random Thought Of The Day #574

Day 574

Dear internauts,

I have absolutely nothing interesting to write about today. I have nothing to yell about. I have nobody that I think is any more of an idiot or crazy person that I did yesterday. Not even news seems worth writing about.

So I'm going to do something entirely different.

I'm going to talk about my favorite toys as a kid. And why.

I was a huge fan of Legos. I mean... really... who doesn't love legos? They were fucking awesome. Unless you accidentally stuck 2 of the super-thin 1-strip kinds directly on top of each other. And then it was a nightmare to get them apart. You know which ones I'm talking about. They're 1/3 the thickness of a regular lego block. But when you stick 2 of the exact same types on top of each other, you need the fucking jaws of life to rip those bastards apart.

But otherwise? You could build fucking ANYTHING. It was awesome!

But see... when I was a kid, they didn't have nearly the cool lego men that they do have today. Fuck, back then... they were all yellow heads on white t-shirt bodys with black or blue or red pants. Those were your choices. Now you can get a god damn lego man that looks like Boba Fett. They were kinda racist with them back in the 80's. Legos were round-eyed asians.

Asians are "yellow" right? Cause I'm white, some of you are black, indians are red, pretty much everyone from central america, south america or the middle east are brown. So that must mean that Lego men were all round-eyed asians, right? When they came out with the pirate ones with the eye patch and stubble? Coolest lego man ever!

Now we just need a Deadpool Lego man!

But you could build anything with legos. It was awesome. I miss playing with legos. I should totally use the ugly room for legos. Just sit on the floor for hours and play with legos like when I was 8.

I totally should have tried to get a gig with Legos after school. Exactly what degree would you need for that? I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure "lego engineering" is not an actual degree.

So what about you? Favorite toy as a kid and why?

Come on, kids... make with the feedback. Cause you all never fucking reply when I ask questions here.

Random Thought Of The Day #573

Day 573

At this point, I really do HAVE to have the most writings on FetLife, don't I? Is there any way I can search for that? Can Google tell me "What idiot has the most writings on FetLife?" or something? I'm really curious. I'm at 573 days of this, plust a lot of Point-1 and Point-2 editions, some random writings and some really stupid bullshit from the early days here. I'm at like 760-some writings here now. That's GOT to be the record for FetLife, right? RIGHT?

*grumble* fuck you *grumble*

You know what I have realized while writing here? That posts like this, that actually are about something other than ridiculous bullshit? They're gonna get ignored. Until I lose my god damn mind half way through like usual and start ranting about the fucking giant mutant spiders with wings that operate an orbiting space platform that is home to a motherfucking death ray that the Idiot In Chief in the White House won't tell you about because he and Rick Santorum are both evil alien lizard people from the planet Purple and are preparing us for colonization and don't want to cause a mass panic and make people realize that the world isn't what it appears from the evil mainstream media.

yes... there's a planet named Purple. The liquid water there is actually orange for some fucked up reason and the plant life is almost all white. I have no idea why it's called Purple.

Newt wants to steal that fucking death ray from the mutant spiders. To protect the moon colony.

Oh... right... what was I saying?

Yes...writing things... writing things about nothing.

I mean, I could theoretically start telling you about my weekend or something, like @Sybele does in her blog. Or I could talk about my "journey" or some sort of revelation about my kinks like everyone else does...

but that shit just isn't me. I yell. I rant. I spout ridiculous bullshit and lose my god damned mind on a regular basis, yet it somehow keeps me from going on a stabbing rampage or some other shit. And I feel quite stabbity sometimes. Very stabbity. Like... "I woke up with sharpie on my face after drinking too much last night" kind stabbity. You know what I'm talking about.

No, not you!

YEAH, YOU! You know what the fuck I'm saying, right? Yeah. I thought so.

This is what happens when I have writers block in the morning. This is the bullshit you get.

Random Thought Of The Day #572

Day 572

You know what I haven't seen or read or anything in a while? A bad-ass just mind-fucking kind of sci-fi horror type thing.

Some book or comic or movie or tv show where shit is just straight up fucked up and you have no idea why.

So far, the River seems to be pretty close to that. But the characters are not 100% stuck in the fuckedupedness the way they need to be for it to really be just creepy and weird and mind-fucking enough for me.

Maybe that's why I was such a huge fan of LOST. Because it was a bunch of people stuck in a world of mindfuck and couldn't get out. And the only way out is through it. Maybe.

This got me thinking though... what kind of things do I really like in a story? What things really draw me in? What kind of endings do I like and what kind do I hate?

I guess I love the fucked up, anything-can-happen-and-possibly-will situation without it leading into magic. I fucking HATE magic. Ok... let me re-phrase that. I can't stand wizard-like magic. Basic supernatural weirdness? Cool. Dude with a magic fucking wand? Boring as shit. It's a cop out. Weirdness that isn't really explained with serious detail? Ok... I can deal with that. It could be a case of wildly advanced tech that is almost supernatural... or it could be actually supernatural weirdness. Either way. Doesn't really matter.

But something about a douche holding a magic wand and changing this or that? Lame as fuck. I mean, what... does dude-with-a-wand have the oh-so-terribly-convenient limitation of NOT being able to turn people into trees or a pocket-full of wadded up Sheetz reciepts and just walking away to go about his fucking business? And then you always gotta go find this other "lost-for-millenia" amulet or something in order to escape said magic... but somehow you manage to discover, even being a total fuckwit in this world, where-as the inhabitants of said magic fucking kingdom have had no luck for the last 3000 years? What the fuck? Fuck that noise! My bullshit detector goes off there just as fast as it does with pretentious cause-heads! So sorry kids... fuck magic wizard bullshit.

And if it involves the main characters needing to battle with swords and shit? yeah... I'll pass on that crap too. Unless they've also got fucking laser guns and shit too. That mix of the super techy and the bad Ren Faire dinner show is ok... but throw out the tech and it's just another attempt at Braveheart or something about dragons or something else that I don't care about.

So fantasy is kinda meh for me. Unless it's mixed with sci-fi tech stuff and thrown into some weird literary blender, I'll pass. Mostly because of the massive plot holes in them.  Oh... but if it's a commentary on religion or time or life? I can sometimes dig that. That's what LOST was. It was playing with religion/faith and time and whatnot with not so much magic is just unexplained fuckedupedness.

But getting back on point here... fucked up weirdness? Good. We need more of that "holy shit, what the fuck is going on?" stuff. It doesn't even have to be super sci-fi-ish. It can just be somebody thrown into the middle of some kinda weirdness with conspiracies or some other sort of convoluted plot. I don't care. It's that feeling of being in the middle of a total shitstorm and not even being able to tell which way is up most of the time. And then being wrong when you think you can.

I think the other thing that I'm missing is good endings that aren't all "oh, everything is wrapped up nicely" and much more bittersweet. Where the fuckedupedness is dealt with, but a whole host of new potential shit to fuck your life up is right there instead. Like where you've gone thru the rabbit hole and you can't get back out. You'll never get back out. And a realization that things will never be like they were before everything went to shit. It makes the story mean a little more. If the status quo is just restored at the end of the story? What was the point? Ok, people changed maybe during it... but beond that? They can still go back to their old lives and probably revert back into the people they were before. A story that negates itself at the end is pointless. If the character is gonna just be able to pretend it didn't happen cause everything is back to how it was, then why did I read it?

Though that might have to do with me being a bit of a cynical asshole.

Ok... and here's some belated valentine's day Deadpool for reading this rambling piece of shit.

RTOTD #571.1

Day 571.1

Wait... so we're still dealing with that whole Greece thing? I thought we all realized that shit was a lost cause like a year ago. I thought I read a thing a couple weeks ago where that whole country was only worth like 500 billion dollars at this point. Like, for that much, you could own the place. So I was just kinda waiting for them to put up a really fucking big "FOR SALE" sign over at the border or over the country or something so you can see it from Google Earth. Wait... do they even have enough cash to make that sign? I wonder what the real estate commission would be for the sale of a country?

Though that does bring up a good question... if someone with enough money (*cough*Apple*cough*) were to actually buy a country... do they get to own the people too? Cause that could get interesting quite quickly.

I'd really be much more interested in revitalizing the plan that I was working on between 1998 and 2002 about taking over the world if I get to keep the people too. I could deal with ruling the world with that kinda deal. But only after we find aliens and I can sell off the excess people to them as chattel. Just saying.

Oh... maybe Greece will have some good yard sales? World's Largest Garage Sale. But it better be scheduled for longer than like... 8:00 until 2:00 on a Saturday morning. I don't know if I can dig through the whole country in 6 hours. Yet somehow, I think we'll get scammed. I mean... they are eastern European. Buy their old book collection? Somehow, they steal your ID and sell it on the Dark Net.

Assholes. Fuck you and your discoteques.

Oh wait... I wonder how much they'd charge to let me change "going Greek" to something wildly narcissistic with my name in it? But only when you're talking about teh buttsecs. Cause I would totally love a slang term for a sex act named after me. Now that I think about it though, there might already be one... but it probably involves a feminist punching a dude in the junk and screaming about rape culture while complaining about pronouns or some such nonsense.

Random Thought Of The Day #571

Day 571

In honor of last weekend's performance of the vagina monologues... I've decided to contribute by offering you the following:

The Penis Monologue (because we really kinda only need 1)

"I am a penis. I like entering warm, wet, tight places. Repeatedly."

The end.

There you go... that is the singular Penis Monologue.

Random Thought Of The Day #570

Day 570

Wait a second... Self Driving Cars? FUCK YES!!

Nevada is the first state to authorize the use of self-driving cars on the road.

I love me a good road trip. I just rarely trust another human being to drive. And I really prefer to do them in my own car. But see... sometimes... especially when driving through fucking nowheresville, PA or bumfucknowhere, Ohio, I wanna take a nap. Cause I get bored.

Now I can take a fuckng nap, bitches!

Come on... you know you'd love that. Driving out to Philly or Chicago and just hop in the back seat and crash out for like an hour or 3? I'd be digging it. Or just recline the seat and nod off right there.


We can keep her employed
as a cab driver. Right?



Though I'm curious how this works for cars with a manual transmission? I have never even owned an automatic. I go out of my way to always buy a manual. Something about an automatic makes me just think "glorified golf cart".

And I also wonder what this is going to do to the cabby industry or towncar industry? I mean, once they start installing these things into yellow cabs and limos, that's a shitload of guys that you can't understand because they don't speak english that will be out of a gig. Especially in NYC and whatnot.

Though it WILL cut down on the costs of local government. I want this shit installed in buses ASAP. Fuck paying bus drivers 60-100K a year to drive a bus. And then retire at like 55 with a full pension and full benifits until they die? Yeah... my tax money pays for that and I want a tax cut, bitches.

Sadly, I got $5 says the union tries to block any public form of transportation from using this tech.

But now that they've figured out self-driving cars... I want fucking faster speed limits! Freeway speeds shouldn't be limited to anything below 70. Granted, I'd prefer about 90, but I'll settle for 70... you know, for the sake of all those people that suck at driving and are terrified of operating a motor vehicle, never turn their heads and look like they're so stiff behind the wheel that hitting the right note will shatter them into pieces like glass.

Random Thought Of The Day #569

Day 569

Weird... past couple days, it almost feels like we fucking time traveled back to a year ago. Except this time, I don't care.

Maybe I have finally found a way to make the wonderful power of alcohol let me travel backwards. I've been trying to figure that trick out for years now. Looks like I got drunk enough last weekend at HATE that I figured it out.

As I've said before... Some people like to call it "blacking out", but I prefer to call it "time travelling". Except, before now... I've never found a way to harness the wonderful powers of alcohol to travel backwards.

Problem fucking solved. Not enough alcohol in all previous experiments. YAY SCIENCE!

It's strange though. When things feel like history repeating itself, the more times things happen, the less of an impact it really seems to have. I know that, at least personally, the feeling of "didn't we just get done dealing with this bullshit?" seems to have overpowered my ability to give a fuck. In fact, other than minor annoyance at feeling like this is just deja vu, it's just boring for me to see the same shit happen over and over.

But then again, doesn't it feel like the last few years are just rehashing of shit that sucked the first 17 times it was tried? Outside of having a non-white President for the first time... the world seems to be stuck on this endless fucking loop of repeating stupid ideas. Tax the rich, don't tax the rich, spend money, don't spend money, the economy sucks, the economy is great, "yay Marx", "yay Smith", leggings are pants, leggings are fucking stupid, pastel colors are cool, pastel colors suck, Apple rules, PC rules, global warming, another ice age, gas is fucking crazy expensive, gas is reasonable, the Euro sucks, the Dollar sucks, americans work too much, americans are lazy... it's been one or the other. And it's lost its effect... at least on me. Am I alone here?

And when it's not that, it's just biting from some other decade as the source ideas for fucking EVERYTHING else... movies and tv? just remakes of shit from the 80's or earlier. And when it's not a remake? adapted from a book, comic book or video game... or at least with Battleship, a bastardized version of a board game. Where's my Monopoly movie, fuckers! Or TROUBLE!

The Occupy idiots? They're just trying to do their worst impression of the sit-in protest crowd from the 60's. And somehow making it even dirtier and smellier. So props for that, kids.

Can we like... skip forward? or are we just living on a record player and the fucking record keeps skipping? Did we all fall into a bad remake of Groundhog Day? Or just me? Wait a fucking second... I'm blaming that god damned smoke monster from LOST. It's gotta have something to do with that.

If not... then... FUCK... just try to be at least a little bit creative. Stop straight up copying someone elses shit. Try something original. Do something different. If you're going to try to do something to make a spectacle, at least try to make it original.

Or maybe I just don't take this whole world seriously enough to get bent out of shape over the same shit that I got bent out of shape over and nothing changed 3 years ago, 5 years ago, and 7 years ago... Maybe when you see the futility of expecting somethig new, you stop having the energy to care about yelling about the same shit over and over.

But hey, at least I did get my little dose of seeing some crazy recently. And that was fun.

Is it time we can try the "Mad Scientists Try To Take Over The World" plan again then? Or do I have to wait in line behind "complain about pronouns", "porn is the devil and is destroying the world", "bacon is murder and unhealthy and pigs have feelings",  and "gay marriage is the devil and will destory the world" still? Cause that line is kinda long. Is there an express lane? Us Mad Scientists haven't had our go around recently. Zombies and glittery vampires are hogging the fucking spotlight.

Assholes.

Random Thought Of The Day #568

Day 568

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before... but I have a theory about holidays:

There's 2 kinds of holidays...

1. Hallmark holidays. You give people gifts or send cards or do the family thing or whatever. They're boring as shit and you inevitably end up watching a movie with friends that night cause there's fuck-all else to do and you're sick of family by halfway thru dinner and then still have to deal with them for another 3 hours after that before you meet your friends for that movie. Oh... and Spike is probably going to have a Star Wars marathon and some other channel will have an Indiana Jones marathon. So it's basically a Harrison Ford holidy as well. Wait... I'm smelling a conspiracy here... Hallmark and Harrison Ford have formed an Axis of Evil that invades our holidays!

Wait... that's probably kinda crazy. But there's something fishy going on there with always having a Harrison Ford marathon on Hallmark holidays. I just need to figure out what the deep secret connection is there.

hmmm... I'll get back to that... there's the other holiday type to still deal with.

2. Drinking holidays. That's what you do. The day is devoted to getting fucking loaded. The liquor stores have sales leading up to them, the beer distributor stays open on Sundays... and everyone gets fucking loaded. The cops go nuts with pulling people over but pretty much don't give a shit about open container laws. You just get loaded.

But it's weird... these 2 holidays almost NEVER overlap. I mean... when's the last time you got a Happy 4th of July card? But I bet you got drunk in the back yard next to the BBQ at 2:00 in the afternoon. When's the last time you got hammered and partied until 3am on Thanksgiving? Unless it was to distract yourself from the annoying 2nd cousin and their demon children or that creepy uncle that you don't want to talk to. I bet you don't get any Happy St. Patrick's Day cards but you damn well get fucking smashed on green beer or Guinness or Irish whiskey!

So what I'm saying is... there's a Hallmark and Alcohol producers conspiracy! And Harrison Ford is involved in there somewhere too. Or maybe it's just George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Those sneeky fucks. Next thing you know, Lucas is gonna try to retcon Thanksgiving too or fuck up Easter by making Judas get tortured to give up Jesus instead of just being a greedy fuck. Fucking Guido did NOT shoot first! Bastard.

Random Thought Of The Day #567

Day 567

"Happy Valentine’s Day to all. And to those who hate the day, I say this: Valentine’s Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens." - Warren Ellis

I just want to say Happy Valentine's Day to @DoNotGoGently.

And in a kind of entirely uncharacteristic moment for me... I hope you all have a good one as well. Or at least a happy Horny Werewolf Day.

But only real fucking werewolves. Not anything that came out of bullshit with glampires and shit. I mean eviscerate your ass and lick at your innards kinda werewolves.

Ok... that was as mushy as I'm gonna get here. Ever. I hope you all die.

Random Thought Of The Day #566

Day 566

Hey kids. Thanks for coming out to the party and braving the weather on Saturday for HATE. We ended up with a  pretty decent turnout, considering the other options on the table for people & the weather and whatnot. From what I hear, there ended up being a good number of scenes that went on during the evening too. Seems like every time, people get more into the groove of playing more and more.

Even if I drank myself out of the equation way too fucking early. Note to self... remember to eat fucking dinner before a party. Even if you're running low on time trying to get everything done on a schedule. And if you DO forget to eat a real dinner, stop trying to drink all of the vodka on the planet.

Which leads me to a special thanks to @DoNotGoGently for taking care of my drunk ass and making sure I didn't... you know... die, or something, in my sleep. And for taking over my "hosting" duties after I became incapacitated.

It was also good to meet a few new people too. I don't remember any of your names, but hey... I never remember anyone's names. I gotta meet you another 10 times or so before I remember names.

So with that out of the way, I figure it's a good time to announce the next party. I'll be puting up an event page soon, but for March, we'll be planning it in conjunction with the Rope Bite Demo. Kinda. So you'll get a chance to put whatever you learn there into practice. @TwistedView ... what's the topic for March?

But in addition to planning it for right after the Rope Bite Demo, we'll be having a theme to it again.

March's theme?

Beaus & Bimbos.

A little treat for the girls and for the guys. So guys? Break out your best suit, clean your ass up, shave and get yourself looking good for the girls. And girls? The tighter, lower cut and shorter the better! Go as girly as you can. Or switch it up if that's your thing. Go full-on drag if it suits you. Whatever. But we're going for classy meets trashy. So dress the fuck up, children! Or Daddy's gonna have to start walking around hitting motherfuckers with that metal cane that scares the shit out of so many of you.

Random Thought Of The Day #565

Day 565

Hey... look at that. An Indian tribe is sueing beer makers for their alcoholism. This reminds me of fat people sueing Pizza Hut for being fat fucks too.

Though I remember something from about 12 years ago. Right around the turn of the millenium. Wasn't there a thing with some regional tribe of Indians trying to sue to regain ownership of the city of Pittsburgh? At least the lands downtown. Something about how it had been only a 199 year lease or something like that and they didn't want to allow the lease to be renewed? I can't remember the details of it, but I remember someone telling me about it while I was living in Columbus at the time for school.

My first thought at the time was "Are they going to cover the USX building in flannel and open liquor stores on the first floor of all the buildings in the city?". Second thought? "If it becomes a reservation, I'm gonna go visit often and enjoy the Peace Pipe a little too much.".

I thought back to that with this. I don't know why. They're unrelated other than the whole Native American thing.

But for some reason... my brain made a connection this morning. And I'm actually curious why I made that connection. Hell, I'm curious why my brain makes any of the connections that it does. And the process is wildly interesting to me. Associations are quite curious to me. Why do you connect 2 seemingly unrelated stories. Why does hearing about this thing here bring to mind a connection to this other thing you already had filed away in your memory banks?

And how deeply do these types of associations impact our personality and lives? I know this is nothing but bullshit psycho 101 crap, but it's something that fascinates me sometimes.

Some are easier to figure out. For example... why I've developed a borderline paraphilia for a trashy dressed girl in stripper heels that keeps them on in bed. Answer? Far too much porn and establishing an association between that visual and getting worked up. Simple. Or why I consider mcdonald's french fries a good choice to eat when I have a sore throat. Answer? Because that's one of the few things I could eat without pain when I had my tonsils removed wayyy back when I was about 5. Again, simple.

But sometimes, the connections I make in my head between Event A and Random Memory B is a whole lot less obvious and seemingly more random. THOSE are the times I'm really curious about why I connected those 2 totally different dots. And the more distinctly and apparently different the 2 connected points are, the more curious I am about why I connected them. Until you get to the point of polar opposites. Then that one is pretty easy again. Because they're polar opposites.

*shrug*

I know I'm not alone on this... am I?

Random Thought Of The Day #564

Day 564

I just want to clear something up... I never intentionally schedule shit the same day as some other event going on around here. I don't look at the schedule and think "It would be fun to fuck with (person X) by throwing a party or having an @ElitistFucks munch on the same day as their thing".

I don't look at the schedules at all. Ever. Hell, if I wasn't reminded when things were while talking about them with friends in the planning stage, I would have probably thrown the HATE party the same weekend as Dark Odyssey or Winter Wickedness.

I just don't look at schedules.

So while I might be an inconsiderate dick... I don't go out of my way to be so. I just take the easiest route to get there. By being an ignorantly inconsiderate dick.

But I do have to say... what's the problem with there being more than 1 party on a given night? Fuck... it's not like there's that much shit going on or either party can handle enough people that nobody is goning to go to the other one. Is there a competition here that I don't know about? I thought we were bitching a few months ago that there weren't enough options for play and whatnot... now there's a problem because there's too many?

Sorry to make a thing out of this, but I've had a couple people talk to me in the past couple months as though they thought I was competing with the other events going on around the city for people. And I just wanted to clarify that I'm not.

Hell, I'm just kinda geeked when anyone shows up. I could care less how many people pick the parties we throw over the other party. I just figured that the worst that happens is that people have to pick. Sorry kids, but choices are life.

It feels too much like social engineering to determine "ok, this weekend we will grant you these different things to attend or not attend but your only option is to go to this thing we approve of or find something else to do because that's your only option of the organized kink variety".

I'm a big fan of the choices that chaos and lack of structure to things provides. I prefer that. I like the anarchy. I like the randomness. I like the feast-or-famine situation that it sometimes presents. I like seeing when things just randomly match up well to provide everyone with an option that they like. I like the lack of structure. The lack of authority. I just wish more people would do it too. The punk rock side to the kink world. The DIY stuff.

I mean, I've had a number of people wonder "how do I throw a good party?" recently and my answer is the same to everyone... throw the party YOU would want to go to and people will show up and have fun. It's just that simple. Do It Yourself. Do what you want. Fuck permission. Fuck opinions of anyone else. Just do your own thing. Don't try to appeal to anyone. Don't pander. Just have fun, do whatever you want with no regard toward anything or anyone else and you'd be shocked how many other people will love it just as much as you do.

Chaos is funny like that.

And here's some Deadpool for reading that whole thing

Random Thought Of The Day #563

Day 563

Fucking Rick Santorum. REALLY?? GO AWAY! I hate this guy. He's like the evil Mr Rogers.

The Republicans really can't help themselves, can they? Whenever they have an opportunity to change their image in a positive way... they manage to fuck it up. This time? Same fucking deal. And now we're down to super-rich-white-yuppy-stereotype guy, guy-that-hasn't-been-relevant-for-10-years-and-randomly-showed-back-up guy, and bible-thumping-lunatic-who-has-too-much-time-on-his-hands guy.

Fucking really? It's like The Smiler (go read Transmetropolitan if you haven't already), Captain Irrelevant, and Evil Mr. Rogers. Or we can stick with the 5th Marx brother. Dumbo Marx. Great.

I fucking hate politics.

Is there any reason we can't have the "nobody" box on the ballot? Have we ever tried it? Or a "none of the above" box? Is there any reason we HAVE to have someone in all these positions?

If we really need to make a major decision, just have an auto-dialer to randomly select a phone number in the US and let them make the call.

Can't really turn out much worse than the present options, could it?

I'm still in favor of the "vote for Bailey" option if there's a legal roadblock to just leaving the jobs vacant.

Random Thought Of The Day #562

Day 562

You know what I haven't seen in a while? Someone that really crosses the line into wacko crazyland.

I almost miss the loonies that make an issue out of everything and make no sense in their ranting lunacy.

Then I remember exactly how much that kind of crazy makes me want to beat myself in the head with a shovel and I don't really miss that kind of crazy anymore.

Speaking of wacko crazyland...

HOW IN THE FUCK IS RICK SANTORUM STILL IN THE GOP RACE?

I mean... look... I'm no fan of the idiot in office. I wasn't a huge fan of the idiot before him, but compared to the other 2 options?? I don't know... Captain Planet and Herman Munster? Fucking really? I guess with those options, the guy that was there wasn't any better. But that was like choosing between shit and diarrhea... same thing, different form.

But fucking really? Rick Santorum? This guy is a nutjob. I mean, the guy is more interested in what's going on in someone elses bedroom than most of the people on Fet are. But at least we're only interested to get ideas. Or... you know...  pr0n.

Though... I might decide to grade the performance. Or judge it... if it involves furries. Fucking furries.

But back to the crazy... I guess he's my substitute crazy for the loonies on the other side of the political spectrum? But I don't need to point out his crazy! He's like the Michael Jackson of political crazy. All you gotta do is say "Rick Santorum" and you know exactly what I mean. At least with the other side of the crazies, I can point and... oh wait... I guess it's pretty much the same thing.

But it's still not as fun. I can't explain it. Oh well... Fuck that guy and his Mr. Rogers sweaters.