Ahh... just when I'm at a loss for what to write about today, someone actually does something to prompt me to write. And because I'm better than everyone else, I want to make it about me and feed my fucking ego, so instead of posting in the actual discussion, I just write my own post about it.
Oh look... it worked.
I think that some people need to learn to differentiate between fetish, kink, and recreational activity. There's a hierarchy here. They are terms that describe orders of magnitude. They are NOT interchangeable. And because a bunch of people seem to screw them up rather regularly, I figured I'd bring it up here.
Let's start with a fetish. Exactly how should it be defined? According to the dictionary, it's something that you NEED to get excited. Something that you NEED in order to get off. Not just something that's hot. It's a fucking requirement.
In many cases, this is actually something that could require professional therapy. It becomes overwhelming and sometimes detrimental. And sometimes even uncontrollable. Fetishes can sometimes cross a lot of lines. So you damn well better know you're in control of them or seek some fucking help if you're not. Cause a lack of control can lead to compulsion. And a compulsion can lead to you hurting others to get your "fix". Fetishes are dangerous if they aren't controlled.
I have about 2 or 3 that are borderline fetishes. Being on the borderline means that I can still go at it and everything even if this isn't present, but only when there's enough of my kinks met, then I'm good. But if there's not enough kinks present or one of my other fetishes isn't met, then no dice. Ain't gonna happen. One of them being a girl wearing heels in bed. I can't explain it. But it's damn near mandatory. That one is right on the borderline.
But the only one that is an absolute fetish is a girl that actually ACTS like a whore in bed. Not the kind that will let you do whatever you want. I'm talking about the kind that actually want you to treat them like shit in bed and all of that. An active participant in their whorification. That's necessary for me. Someone that's timid or doesn't really push back with the "you're not trying hard enough. You can do better." thing to push me to be even a bigger pig in bed? I just can't get into that. No matter how hot the girl is, if I can't get into treating her like a whore and her showing me in her words and actions that she wants to be treated like that, I just can't get into it.
So now... on to the next level down the scale. Kinks. What are kinks? Let's think about that for a moment. I think you can look at kinks in a couple different ways. There's the personal quirks side of it as well as the "what gets you hot" part of it. I think we can safely focus on the "what gets you hot" side of it. I think these are things that we really enjoy and that we need, similarly to the Fetish option above, but we don't need them as much. We need them available. We need them to be something that we CAN do but we don't really need to do them. They are things that are above "I like doing that" to "that gives me significant additional gratification". It's something that's a "thing" for us.
For example with me... Body modification. It's one that's way high up on my kinks list. More for the design aspect, but almost exclusively for an aesthetic reason. Girls with ink & metal? Fucking yummy. Fake tits? Even better. All of them together? Oh dear Jesus, that's hot.
That's a kink. I don't need it. But oh sweet Jesus, that's so fucking hot.
And finally... recreational activity. Shit, there's a bunch of ways that you can look at this, but I think I'll stick with the easiest way. It's something you just like to do. It doesn't necessarily even get you all worked up. It's just a thing. It could go hand in hand with sex, but it doesn't have to.
In this case.. smoking pot. Do you need pot to get wet and wild? Does having a toke get you in the mood all the time? I mean, is there a direct correlation between sex and some ganj? Oh, you just like to smoke and sometimes fuck while you're stoned? Oh, so you're just like every single other person that gets high. This is a recreational activity. Not a fetish. Not a kink.
I like to go swimming. Sometimes, I like to fuck in the pool. This does not mean that swimming is a kink or a fetish. It means that I can sometimes combine a recreational activity that I enjoy with another activity I enjoy. Namely, getting my nut. Unless you have a weird Pavlovian response to smoking pot that directly creates the mental association of "herb = hard on", it's a recreational activity. And if you DO have that Pavlovian response... well, you might wanna get that checked. Or cut back on the green. Cause that's probably costing you a fuck ton of cash.
And here's some bonus slutty girls. Because... you know... Why not?
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