Random Thought Of The Day #653

Day 653

I'm still finding fucking sand everywhere. And I've vacuumed twice. A sand pit is probably not the best idea for inside of a house.

Also, I'm starting a "Lost & Found" box that will be sitting out in one of the rooms. Because I keep finding more shit in my house that people left there.

And on an entirely unrelated note, I've decided to actually start looking for a potential rope bottom to play with on a semi-regular or regular basis. Those interested should contact me and I will send you the application.

Because fuck you, I'm awesome enough that you should have to fill out an application to apply to be a regular or semi-regular rope bottom.

Please include the following in your application:

A photo of your face. A minimum of 2 full body photos. One clothed, one in underwear/bikini or the like or less. And none of those stupid myspace downward angle holding the camera 4 feet over your head and zooming the fuck in kissy face bullshit pictures that you had to take 37 times to get 1 that was even properly focused. Anyone with one of those will be immediately disqualified.

Also, if you are taking a mirror picture and it is taken using a tablet, you will be immediately disqualified. An android phone is already big enough, how do you even fucking 1-hand balance a tablet to take a picture? I mean, you gotta hold onto the thing and then hit the "take a fucking picture" button or whatever it is with one hand. With the same hand. How do you do that and not drop the motherfucker? Is it that hard to just grab your little Nikon or your phone and take the picture? What, you think you're going to prove something by "hey, look, I'm taking a half-naked picture AND I have an iPad. I'm awesome!" no,  you look like an ass taking a picture with a thing as big as your head. And while bimbo is hot, anyone with 2 firing neurons should realize that mirror-picture taking with a tablet is a stupid fucking idea and you probably can't even hold a conversation about your hair color, much less anything more substantial.

Bonus points will be given to anyone with my usual caveat of preferences for body modification. Including, but not limited to, tattoos (they will be critiqued and graded on design and compositon), piercings (they will be graded on quantity, size, and appropriate placement) and fake tits (which will be graded on how ridiculously fake they look. The faker, the better). Also, anyone proficient with a stripper pole, please be sure to note that in the "additional skills" section. The more whorish you can present yourself as, the better your chances. So whore it up, ladies!

 

Also, bonus points if you want to do my laundry.

I will begin sending them out in the next few days to the thousands of potential applicants that are bound to inquire. Good luck.