So we've got a $500 million dollar lottery. This is the only time that I'll buy a ticket. When it has reached some crazy-stupid pot. Because otherwise, the lottery is a tax on the stupid. Sorry, but it is. You can justify it all you want, but unless it's some ungodly amount and worth the risk of throwing $10 a week or $20 a week or whatever at this lottery, it's just a waste of time. Because if you play the Powerball, you probably play Mega Millions. And if you play them, you probably also play the daily number or the one with 4 numbers and all those other fucking games. You get into back-door numerology with noticing that certain numbers keep showing up and call it a sign that you should play that number. And in the end, all you do is line the coffers of Harrisburg or whatever your state capital is, and set your money on fire. At best, you'll break even in your lifetime while some political hack gets to make a bonus on the interest from your couple hundred or thousand bucks a year, along what the money of thousands of your other fellow suckers in this crapshoot game of pure dumb luck.
But with that said... I think with the pot being a half-billion dollars? I'm willing to throw $20 down on it. I know that my chances of winning are all but zero. And I know that any luck I've earned from Karma or fate or anything else in my life has long-ago been spent on the seemingly endless stream of attractive or even down-right hot women that have found their way into my bed over my lifetime. Hell, I'm probably in the red when it comes to luck with how much of my account balance I've spent on keeping the whore-train rolling into my bedroom. But fuck it, I might as well take the chance. I've blown more on stupider shit in my life.
All that said... When you play one of these games and the risks are so low with the stakes being so high, you can't help but wonder. What in the fuck would you do with that amount of cash? Invest it? Donate a chunk of it? Help out family and friends? Buy a fuckton of cool shit? Become Batman? (Hint: Become Batman is really the only acceptable option here, but it's ok. I won't judge you for getting the answer wrong)
Me? It's simple. Pay off the last of my debt, pay off my house, probably buy the one next door that is for sale, and try to buy up a good chunk of the neighborhood and turn it into a kinky neighborhood where I only rent or sell them to other kinky assholes. It will finally fulfill my dream of being able to do any of the kinky things that I'd like to go to without actually needing to leave my street.
Also, I'd probably put in a pizza, burgers, and bar style place like... right next door. Oh wait, Foli's is only down the street. But that means I need to actually LEAVE my street. I don't wanna!!
Oh, and I'd totally have to out-do the hillbilly that got robbed with a hundred grand in a suitcase in a strip club parking lot. Seriously, who the fuck brings $100,000 to the strip club? Fucking Lil Wayne doesn't even do that shit. And his name is Lil Wayne!
And maybe a Scrooge McDuck Money Bin. Because... Money Bin!
What about you?
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