It's Been Real - RTOTD #854

Day 854

So after this bullshit faux-Halloween party that you all wanted so that you didn't have to make a decision about the actual Halloween party that is not being rescheduled, my birthday and maybe New Years, I'm no longer interested in throwing them as an open thing for anyone that feels like coming.

I have no desire to compete over party dates. I don't have interest in "meeting the needs of the community". I don't care about working around the schedules of everyone out there so that I fill in an "open spot" on the schedule of shit going on and I don't care about saving you from making decisions about which events to attend.

I simply care about enjoying myself and being around people I feel like being around. I am no longer doing that. I've been getting asked to work around schedules and rearrange what I want to do to suit the desires of everyone else. And I'm simply not interested in doing that or being in that position. When friends start asking me to give up having things to do with them on celebratory dates so that they can attend things that I wouldn't attend without a gun to my head is when it dawned on me: You all thought I was doing this for you. I'm not and I never was. So rather than spend a bunch of time and what will only end up sounding like bitching, I'm just going to let you know that we won't be doing them anymore.

Not sure what else to say. I might still occasionally throw something, but it'll be invite+ guests only. Thanks for coming out for the past couple years and you're welcome for giving you something to do when there were virtually no other options. It's just become too much of a headache. So thanks and you're welcome. It's been real.

For those of you that donated furniture for the past few years and would like to have it back since it'll only be accessible a few times a year, let me know & we can work something out to get things back to you. It'll give me an excuse to build some stuff anyway since I've been lazy about that for the past few years.

Event Apathy - RTOTD #829

Day 829

So here's a challenge for you all:

Convince me why I need to re-think my "fuck events' policy and make an argument for why any specific event is special. Pick your favorite event and tell me why it's killer and why I should want to go. Because I am reaching a point where I am maybe(?) re-thinking my "fuck events" policy but can't really figure out why I should reverse it. Nothing I can think of is doing the job, but it's a policy I've had for a while now and I've justified it with things like "you can't drink there so it's not really your scene" and "you hate dealing with new people at this point and 95% of people at events are new people so it's not really your scene" and "you don't really play much at this point and none of the classes speak to you, so why not just stay home and watch tv?" or "I'm tired of seeing naked people that I don't want to see naked and it seems like events are filled to the brim with them" and other arguments that a narcissist with some borderline sociopathic tendencies would make.

And they're all very true and very accurate arguments as to why I shouldn't bother to change my mind. But I'm trying to have a more fair debate in my head about it and can't come up with much beyond "new boobs, some of which I might actually want to see" or "I can play the 'see how many people I can make hate me' game with strangers in a different city" but those kinda suck.

So that's where you come in. I want you to push me off the fence. I can't remember why I enjoyed them at all in the first place, or if I really even did. The cynical side of me has been telling me for a while now that the only reason I ever bothered with events in the past is because whoever I was fucking at the time really wanted to go. And to keep them happy, I'd give in and go and then, once there, I just kinda meh'd my way thru it all weekend until it was time to go home and I could go back to not giving a fuck. But I don't know if that's actually true or just something else I tell myself to reinforce my "fuck events" policy.

That's why I want you to try to convince me otherwise. Hell, just use it as a chance for you to pimp whatever event you really care about.Or tell me to stay the fuck away from your event if you're an organizer and don't want to deal with me. Or it might make me really want to go to your event then if for no other reason than to fuck with you and cause a problem. Because I'm a dick like that.

But I want to try to find some of what I used to think was passion again and maybe hearing about the passion of others will help me find mine again.

Blah.

STOP! BanHammer Time! - #814

Day 814

I hope you got a sufficient MC Hammer pants mental image there. Giggle at it. I'll wait.

 

More after the jump...

Kill The Future.... Build The Future - #809

Day 809

It's hard to get myself back in the habit of writing daily here. Especially when it's fallen on so many deaf ears in the past few months.

I mean, that's one of a dozen fairly-obvious reasons I put this daily blog on hiatus for almost 3 months. I had no passion for it and you all obviously had lost your passion for reading it. And that's because things stagnate when the bar doesn't get raised and you don't challenge the status quo. Because the status quo sucks. No matter what it is or no matter how cool it might seem to you right now, the status quo really generally sucks.

It's also why Fet has been sucking so much for so long. Because I think we've all realized that there's nothing new under the sun and outside of picking up minor skills here and there or seeing an interesting twist on an idea, there's not really all that much to give us that same delight that we once had with our kinks. I know I don't speak for all of you but there's a very large segment that I am speaking for and we're bored. Seriously. Fucking. Bored. I mean, yeah sure... there's some cool stuff here or there but for the most part it's a whole lot of "been there, done that" bullshit that we can't really bring ourselves to adjust our schedules around anymore.

You know what I'm talking about. Those things that get you so excited that you work the rest of your life schedule around certain things to that you don't miss a second of it. Those things that bring up a sense of wonder or joy or child-like enthusiasm in a way that not much else in our boring, monotonous, responsible adult lives provides.

I mean, if we're just doing the same old shit with little changes here and there, I'm pretty sure we can all figure out the future that's planned. And it's the same as now. Boring as shit.

That said, I just figured I'd mention that we won't be throwing any parties anytime soon because it has just been the same old shit. Not until we get an idea of something that is fucking AWESOME and nobody has done in years if ever before. No more trotting out themes that were fun the first time and are just the same-old-thing. No, I don't wanna throw another party until I've got an idea that's totally fucking rad.

And in the same vein, I'm done being involved in stuff that is just a lot of the same-old-shit all over again.

In fact, I'm done doing shit that's not a wholly new experience. I want something that's really going to spark my passion again and I think a lot of you do too.

So I'm also challenging you all to do the same thing. Get out of your comfort zones. Do new things and don't just get caught up in doing the same old shit over and over. Break the status quo and don't support things that are just more of the same. Don't do anything that doesn't add something new that DEMANDS that you adjust your schedule around whatever it is instead of the crap that you do if it fits in your existing schedule.

Do something new. Do something original. Do something that changes the game. And push for something different. Break the future that's coming and build something different.

Infamy - RTOTD #807

Day 807

There's days where I can't tell if I have a little bit of fame when I meet new people or if it's more infamy. I've had the experience a few times. I've met new people who are like "I know you" and others who have said "you're that writer guy" and even others that have said "oh.... you". I can never quite tell if it's fame or infamy. Granted, on a small scale, but still.

And the other thing is... I can't quite figure out which one is better. Is it more fun to be someone that people already know before you even say hi. Or is it more fun to be that guy that people argue about from afar. Because I've experienced a good deal of both since I originally dug this (previously) daily column up from the ash heap of my old Myspace account circa 2007 and turned it into a thing that people looked forward to reading. And to be honest, I'm not sure which I like more: The guy people love or the shock jock.

Though I guess the guy in the black hat doing shit to piss people off and make enemies and hurt feelings IS a lot more fun.

Slug:

"I want a fanbase full of jealous husbands and ex lovers"

I bring this up because I woke up this morning and decided to check Fet for shits and giggles. I haven't been looking there, much less posting ... well... anything in like 2 months. I figured I should at least check in and see if anything cool came up. What do I see? Half my damn feed was filled with a bunch of people fighting. That's not shocking. That's all the damn thing is useful for anymore. But the topic was kinda suprising because it was about me. It was this dueling blogs back & forth thing between some chick I kinda knew a little bit and met once or twice a few years ago and a bunch of people who I couldn't pick out of a lineup.

But the best part of it all was this: Every single one of them are 1,000 miles away in a city I've never even been to. I don't think I could even pick Jacksonville off a map, to be honest. I know they have a shitty football team and an ass-load of strip clubs. But that strip club thing might be Tampa. I really have no concept of relative locations in Florida. It's America's wang. That's like me caring about where anything is in California or Canada or Detroit. They're all foreign countries that speak a mixed bag of gibberish swirled in with poor english. I just can't bring myself to and if they all fell into the ocean, nobody would care.

While that was all interesting enough, the biggest thing I'm still curious about is where the fuck this came from? I mean... ok, it's the spring. At this point, I can set my watch to the "it's spring, time to put Joe's personal life under the microscope again" thing, but I'm at least used to it being a local thing.

Quit changing this shit up on me.

I'm over here minding my own damned business and somehow the argument popped up again, except 1,000 miles south of where it normally does. It's not even like I'm sitting around and doing commentary on the community anymore. I got out of that business a while ago. Commenting on that shit is just asking to get dragged into a cesspool of idiots, pretentious asshats, and moral crusaders who think they knew better than everyone else.

And I really don't feel like trying to wash the smell of that steaming pile of horse shit out of my clothes.

So I'm gonna go back over to my corner and keep working on the 2nd book, decompressing a little bit, watching hockey, and being actually quite mellow. I'll let ya'll keep fighting about some mysterious person 1,000 miles away who none of you actually know, with 2nd and 3rd hand information, and yelling at each other. I might even sit in with a little bag of popcorn. But I have to tell you... this does prove something:

If this is infamy, it's kinda cool, because I'm a narcissistic ass and a bunch of borderline strangers devoting that much effort to fighting about me does nothing but feed my ego. So thanks for that.

Outside - RTOTD #781

Day 781

The more time that passes, the more I'm feeling the mixed bag that comes with not being involved with the "community-proper". Not when it comes to missing anything that it really provides, as much as just being able to comment on the goings-on and bullshit politics of it.

Now, while that's probably nice to some extent, it also makes this column kinda boring at times. There are days where I kinda almost wish I could see the childish crap that I still hear about, just so I could make fun of it and comment on. And then there's a lot more days where I'm so fucking happy to not have to watch the bickering, politicking, whining, tantrum-throwing that is far-too-prevalent.


I kinda want this thing to be more kink-relevant at times. I want to sometimes comment on the goings-on of the community. Except I can't actually bring myself to be involved anymore. Is that strange?

So how about this... what non-community-related kink topics would you like to hear thoughts on? I kinda want to start using this column for more kinky topics of conversation, but I really don't know what you want to read at this point. At least when it comes to kink.

Maybe I'm just hitting a spell of writer's block. I haven't even been working on the Bimbo Project blog on Tumblr either. Which is something that I REALLY want to devote more time to.

So let's hear it. What kinky topics would you like to discuss?

Growing HATE - RTOTD #779

Day 779

Because I don't find a way to confuse you fuckers often enough, after some discussion with @CarmelizedGinger, I realized that HATE needed to grow.

For those of you that aren't local or are just readers that don't really know me, HATE is the annual UnValentine's Day party that I came up with last year and my roomies and I throw. I know it's kinda cliche to throw an anti-valentine's day party because fuck Hallmark, but it's still fun. And while I'm certainly a contrarian to the Nth degree, sometimes doing something cliche is just plain easier.

Long story short was that last year was the innaugural HATE party. It was killer. And we wanted to do it again. The problem was that the weekend before, there was already a birthday party scheduled that a number of my friends had already planned on going to. So I was left with the weekend after.

That's when it got complicated. I powered up the laptop and was about to get to making the event on Fet when I see that not 15 minutes prior, another birthday party had been scheduled. For the same night that I wanted to throw HATE. I was bummed.

After a little discussion, we decided that they could host HATE this year. We would combine the birthday party with the HATE party and hold them together at the same venue. A party within a party, if you will.

The problem was that we didn't anticipate the kind of interest that HATE had. Everyone that wasn't already going to Winter Fire in DC wanted to come. Ruh Roh! We were going to need to turn people away. And well, that's just generally not my style. When I throw a party, I want to go big. I always want to go big. Bigger than last time. Bigger than what other people do. Just. Plain. Big.

So while the idea of turning some people away and scaling back HATE was really the only option because of space requirements, I came up with a better solution. Make it BIGGER. Don't mess with the plans for Saturday night, but fuck it... we have a whole WEEKEND to spread and celebrated HATE.

So the solution was actually pretty simple. Make it into a whole weekend-long event. But split the venues up. One party Friday. One party Saturday. Keep the Saturday plans the same and limit how many people could come, but throw ANOTHER party on Friday to get the HATE started sooner. And my roomies & I would handle hosting duties for the Friday portion of the party.

Now, let's just see how many people can figure this shit out without getting it fucked up and going to the wrong place on the wrong night.

So let this be a lesson to you when you want to throw a party or event

There are no obstacles, only challenges.