I'm driving to work this morning and listening to the radio. Normally, I hate the radio, but sometimes I'll listen to the morning shows for some amusing stories or sports updates, but I kinda tend to change the channel every time actual music comes on. If I wanna hear music at 6am, I'll use my iPod and break my fucking ear drums on something really angry and heavy.
But so, I'm listening today and one thing caught my attention...
Scientists have apparently now perfected (or at least made commercially viable)... smell-o-vision.
Yeah. To smell what's going on on your television.
Who in the fuck thinks this is a good idea? I mean, I'm just thinking about the amount of vomiting that's going to be initiated by this oh-so-amazing enhancement of our television or movie viewing experience. Seriously... the sale of plastic bed-side garbage bag liners is going to go thru the fucking roof. It's like instant-bulemia for us lazy fucking tv watching americans. Oh, don't be all offended... I embrace the stereotype. Fuck being all European and riding bicycles and walking everywhere and shit. And especially the french and their "let's put 1/2 an ounce of food on a plate, dribble it with some obscure tasting sauce and call it a meal" bullshit. Be a proudly fat, ugly american!
But I'm off topic.
Who in the sweet jumping chocolate christ on a crutch thinks that this is a good god damn idea?! "Hey, let's smell the dead bodies that all the actors/actresses on screen fake vomit over after catching a wiff when they're pulled out of the sewer grate after being dead for 5 days! That sounds like a great idea!" or "You know what would be awesome? If I could smell the ass-blasting power of the fart jokes in every stupid-comedy movie!"
But I do have some questions... such as the following:
Will we be able to smell all the lube, slutty perfume, excessive cologne, BO and dirty pussy in that super-low-budget amateur porn we're watching?
What in the fuck does the scene with the dead super-fat-fuck dude in Se7en smell like? And do I really wanna know?
If we gotta smell it while watching it, do the actors/actresses on screen have to smell it while actually making the show/movie?
Will we be able to sue for second-hand-smoke exposure when John Wayne is smoking in a re-mastered version of pretty much any of his movies?
Seriously...
Who the fuck thinks this is gonna be a good idea?
HDtv? OK. 3Dtv? Sure. If they could make tv like that girl from The Ring and that porn stars crawl out of it and hop on? Absolutely...
Smelling my television? I'll fucking pass.
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