Random Thought Of The Day #461

Day 461

How many earthquake jokes can we come up with today? I mean, I had a half dozen  yesterday between fetlife and twitter. I still think someone dropped the national debt and it wasn't really an earthquake.

Oh god... now I'm starting to sound like formulaic morning drive radio. Someone shoot me.

But I do have to ask, we got hit with a natural disaster... even if it was centered a couple hundred miles away.. does this mean we can loot? Cause that would be awesome. I need a better surround sound system. And maybe a 2nd, bigger couch for the living room. And booze. I always need more booze.

What? My liquor cabinet is getting a little light. I need to restock.

Let that be a reminder... bring booze when you come over and I'll love you.

Speaking of coming over. I'm still waiting on RSVP's one way or another from about 1/3 of you fuckers. 20 of the 60 people we sent out invitations to haven't replied. Bastards. Don't make me track you down and hold a knife to your throat for an answer.

Damn... I just remembered that I need to pick up my pants from the drycleaner. Lipstick mark on the fly. If I have to explain how it got there, we're not friends anymore.

Which brings up a good question for you...

What's the funniest story to go with a stain that you've had to take something to the dry cleaners to get taken out? Or the most embarassing stain? Cum stain on a dress or pants or shirt? Blood stain in a really weird place? Come on... you know you have at least a couple. Let's here them.

This thing sucks today. Sorry about that. I wish I could come up with something for a Mad Libs Edition. Or that I'd see something that pissed me off so much that I felt compelled to really yell about it. Instead, you get a txt version of fucking god awful morning drive radio. Or like...  fucking Good Morning America or some shit.

For the love of god... someone do something really fucking obnoxious so I have something to scream about!!

Making fun of Obama or Michelle Bachman or vegans or any other idiots can only be so fun before I feel like I'm just beating a dead horse. Oh... that probably pissed off vegans... how about a dead artichoke?

Doesn't quite have the same effect, does it?

But still.. How many times can I make fun of politicians or vegans or bullshit community politics before it gets old? I get bored with it after about the 2nd time.

Coming up with original material sucks. That's why one of you fuckers needs to point me at things that piss me off.  Maybe then I'll have something that doesn't suck to write here.

In the meantime... here's some Deadpool: