Random Thought Of The Day #480

Day 480

I've been in the middle of re-watching 24 from the beginning over the past 2 weeks or so. I'm in the middle of season 3 right now and I'm realizing a few things:

After 2 seasons, Jack should have gotten a pass to just do whatever the fuck he wants. Instead of a CTU ID, he just pulls out one that says "Bauer ... License to do ANYTHING". I mean, why the fuck does anyone even question him when he's like "yeah, I gotta shoot this guy in the heart & cut his head off"... the correct response by that time is pretty much along the lines of "sure man... whatever you gotta do. you do your thing and just tell me what you need me to do" and let him do whatever crazy thing he wants. It always works out.



Captain America

 I mean, Jack Bauer should have been Captain America. Yeah yeah yeah... chris evans wasn't a bad choice and it was a good movie...  but if you would had a movie where there was already a Captain America running around and nobody knew who he was and all of a sudden he takes off the mask and it's Jack Bauer, the whole audience would have been sitting there going "oh,  yeah... that makes sense".

I'm pretty sure Keifer Sutherland thinks he's actually Jack Bauer at this point. Every movie he's been in since he started doing 24 has just been him playing the same character in different situations. In Mirrors, he was just Jack working as a security guard. It probably was set during the 1st & 2nd seasons of 24 when he was all messed up over that chick shooting his wife. I'm a little surprised he hasn't legally changed his name yet.

But I have to ask... When does he ever stop to take a shit? I mean, he doesn't eat or anything when he's running around like this, so maybe that's why he doesn't gotta hit the head, but still... all that running & shooting & beating people's asses would get the old colon working. When my dog goes for a run outside, it gets his working and 5 minutes later he's over in a random corner of the yard doing his thing. And with all that cardio & torture & shooting, that's gotta work up an appetite... and we know he's on a deadline, but really man? You can't just run by and hit up a MickyD's drive-thru and grab a Big Mac to go? Granted, my fat ass needs fed more often than most, but I'd be fucking HUNGRY.

That was probably a lot more thought than I should have been putting into any of this.



Bauer Utitlity Belt... errr... Murse?



For the record though... Jack Bauer is the only person in the world that I will give a pass to for wearing a Murse. It's like his version of the Batman Utility Belt. He's got all kindsa nifty gadgets in there. Yes, I just said nifty. Fuck you. But he's got guns and bullets and phones and iPads and random computer hardware and knives and pretty much anything else you can think of that a badass needs in his utility belt stuffed into that Murse. So yeah... he gets a pass. He's like Batman. And Captain America. Captain Batman America. But instead of the bat signal, they just shine a spotlight of a gun over LA and he shows up out of nowhere and punches & tortures people and yells "dammit!" a lot.



If I didn't suck at Photoshop, I'd totally turn the Bat into a
gun & Batman into Jack Bauer.



Well, I guess Indiana Jones gets a pass on that one too.

But those are the only 2.

Ok... well... I guess that was definitely way too much thought to put into this.