Random Thought Of The Day #512

Day 512

A list of random thoughts today:

1. I wonder if I could build a particle accelerator in my basement? Do you think that violates zoning laws? Maybe I should also build a small nuclear reactor down there too. You know, to power it. Otherwise, my electric bill might go thru the fucking roof.

2. I haven't seen strippers in a while. I should probably put that on my list of things to do.

3. Oh look, the government said "we have no evidence of alien life and have never encountered information or beings of alien origins.". They said that shit to Mulder too, and he and that kinda cute redheaded chick that always wore shoulder-pads proved them wrong. I mean, look at this guy...

wait... I should probably find a picture of some dude that looks like an alien before I type that up, right? Well... then ... just image a really funny looking guy. Probably with a huge freaking bald spot & some liver spots on his head. Gigantic ears. Like... bigger than the President. That's pretty fucking big.

Wait... that's 2 Presidents in a row with ungodly big ears. Maybe it's not actually about who is the taller one anymore. They used to say that the taller guy always won. Maybe it's now the guy with the biggest ears. Disney totally got to us all with fucking Dumbo.

4. An asteroid is going to come really fucking close to Earth tomorrow... so for all you global warming idiots out there... don't worry... when it comes back around 2028 and actually hits us next time, your electric car won't have mattered worth a fuck. And since I'll be like... 48 when that happens... I'll probably already be half way to my deathbed with some new form of cancer, some wildly viral form of dimentia & liver failure. So I won't give a fuck.

5. Will someone find a way to lobotomize George Lucas so he quits fucking with Star Wars? Every other year, it's another special edition box set super double trilogy blu ray re-synched with digital enhanced alien fucking or something like that. Unless it includes removing Jar Jar Binks and all of those weird floppy green alien frog people (and no, Frenchy... I wasn't talking about you this time, dirty horse-eater.), can you fucking cut it out? Nobody else fucks around with 35 year old movies to change 17 seconds, add in 3 lines and toss in a minute and a half of b-roll that nobody even notices half the time. Go make something new. Or just try to perfect the Scrooge McDuck money bin dive.

How the fuck did he do that? You'd think that he'd just smash face first into that thing like everyone else. And he was old... he's not that fit. Diving into anything would probably just make him break his hip or something.

Wait... whose kids were the colored-shirted duck children that got pawned off on ol' Scrooge? Was that Disney universe or Warner Brothers? They weren't Daffy's kids, right? Whose were they? I don't remember.

And how did he keep the location of the Money Bin a secret? It's a 40-story tall building in the fucking woods, on top of a hill, with a gigantic "$" sign in solid gold on the top of it. Nobody's gonna miss that shit, man. I'm pretty sure I could see it from my house, and you're all the way in a fictional universe populated by anthropomorphic ducks & chipmunks.

Now I want to go watch some old-school Duck Tales.

It was Duck Tales, right?

I just got the greatest idea... Deadpool guest-starring on an episode of Duck Tales. Deadpool & Darkwing Duck saving the world!