Random Thought Of The Day #706

Day 706

I looked at the news this morning and it makes me want to scream. But I'm not going to scream about that. Because it's tilting at fucking windmills at this point. The world is fucked and it's only going to get fucked-er unless we get rid of all of the idiots in charge and replace them with the first 1000 people through the door at a random gas station in a middle class neighborhood.

I actually think that might end up working out better.

But in the meantime, I'm going to talk about monkeys. Because fucking monkeys.

I want a helper monkey. My dog is useful for a lot of things, but he doesn't have opposable thumbs. So unless it's something that fits in his mouth, he can't really carry it for me. And if it involves opening doors, as much as he tries,  he's not that good at it. He also won't let me use him like a pack mule with one of those mule poncho things on his back with all the pockets in the sides. You know what I'm talking about. He won't let me do that. It would be so much easier if I could just load him up with beers and then have him wander around and people can grab a beer whenever they want when we have a party or have people over.

But becuase I can't do that... Monkey Butlers.

Tell me you don't want a monkey butler. I would LOVE a monkey butler.

But he'd also need to learn how to ride a Triceratops. Because I might want one of those instead of a horse. In battle. During the zombie apocalypse.

That's why we need to clone dinosaurs. They can save us from the zombie apocalpyse. We learn how to ride them and unlike a horse, fucking zombies can't bite them and kill them too. I'd love to see someone try to bite a Triceratops. I have a feeling it wouldn't work out very well. And the guy that rides aroud on the back of a Tyrannosaurus Rex is the fucking coolest guy ever.

We need cloned dinosaurs for the war against the zombies. And against Skynet.

Dinosaurs vs Robots. Fuck yes. I want to see this shit. And I think we ALL want to see this shit.