Random Thought Of The Day #730

Day 730

The book is complete. It ended up clocking in just a little below where I wanted it to, word-count wise, but still. A hair under 80,000 words. 77,285 to be exact. That translates to 310 pages. Plus 2 pages for some pictures and the scans of the Play Partner Application. So about 312 pages altogether.

Now onto the editing process. I did some editing this morning and re-wrote some parts that I didn't feel had the proper flow or just didn't make any sense on a re-read. The editing should take about 3 or 4 days to get replies back about. And the changes should only take a day or 2. Which means it'll be uploaded to the distribution market right before halloween. I don't think it'll be ready in time to do print-on-demand options on LuLu or Amazon before the party, but by the next party? You could have a physical copy in your hands. Thought I guess you could always beat someone with your Kindle. I dont' know how well that would work though.

I'm not going to do any major revisions. It'll be a paragraph here or there. An added joke somewhere if I come up with one (or if my editors do... so feel free to suggest some, ladies!) for the narration part.

I wanted to do this as a 1-draft thing. I wanted to keep the same Random Thought feel to it. The Random Thought Of The Year. 1 take. 1 shot. Hit or miss, I didn't want to lose the same vibe that brought me to this point. Writing in a kind of stream-of-conscious manner is what I've always done on this blog, even when I have issues getting a topic that I have anything at all to say about. I wanted to capture that same feel for the book. Except with stories instead of just "news of the day" stuff or "hot button kink world topic of the week" or something like that.

I want to thank you all for any contribution you made to this. Either in sparking a memory of a story, for being part of one (don't worry, you all get nicknames, but most of these stories are old, so you'll only really need to worry when I write the 2nd book, I didn't know many of you during the time period for the stories in the first half of this book), or just for the encouragement. Thank you.

I would also REALLY like to thank you all for putting up with my bullshit over the past 3 months since I decided to write this. My incessant yammering about "I'm writing a book" and all that preposterous crap. I know it got obnoxious. I know you're all sick of hearing about it too. Don't worry, I won 't be blabbering about it too much longer. Once it's available, you'll get a little bit more of my shameless self-promoting and some requests to help spread the word that people should buy it, but that should be it.

But I'm proud of myself. It's the first time in a long time that I've actually followed through to completion on something that I really wanted to do. Most of the time for the past few years, I've made plans, got bored half-way through, and went to get a sandwich and watch tv instead. This time I actually finished it. It might be brilliant or it might be complete shit. That's not for me to decide. I know there's been times that I've read through what I had already written so many times that I wanted to shred the whole fucking thing and start over because I hated it. And there's been times that I've been really happy with it when I've re-read it.

I'm excited. I'm also terrified. While I write this thing every day here to satiate my own desire to verbally fuck you in the temporal lobe and just to rant or engage my brain, I wrote the book for entirely different reasons. I mean, yeah.. sure... I guess the same reasons apply, but if that's all it was, I would have just kept writing here only and left it at that. There had to be something more I wanted out of the greater effort. I don't know what that is, but I'm kinda terrified about what happens if I don't get whatever it is. Does that make any sense?

I write a blog for basically "let me exorcise the demons in my brain that are invading my thought process" reasons. But writing a book? That's gotta be for other reasons. Right? I'm rambling.

Just whatever you do... don't buy it because you just want to support someone that is doing something. Buy it if you really want to read these stories.

Here is a quick Outline of the book

Section 1 - Drunken Mayhem
- The Pepper-Spray Story
- The Breathalyzer Is NOT A Drinking Game
- Don't Invite Us To Parties... Stuff Gets Broken
- Chloroform Snowboarding
- Free Lap-Dances & The War Against My Liver
- Eject
- The Mythical Land Of Brownstown
- The Myrtle Beach Road-Trip Story
- An Egg Of Hash
    *The World's Largest Slip-N-Slide
    *Merlin The Magician
    *A Parking Meter In A Clown Car
- Paint

Section 2 - The Girls, The Sex, & The Trainwrecks
- A Short Story About A Dozen Girls Named Christina
- Why Hotel Headboards Scare Me
- The Imaginary Relationship Story
- PlayBoyBunny
- The Blind Girl
- The Hotel Curse - Part 1
- The Hotel Curse - Part 2
- Spontaneous Anal
- Letters To The Girls I've Fucked (Part 1 and 2)
- Backbreaker

Section 3 - The Random Thoughts & The Awesome
- What?
- The Application
- The Great Pumpkin
- Full-Contact Monopoly
- Play ≠ Therapy
- Laughing At Yourself
   *It's Just A Bar
   *The Big Fuck You
   *The Aftermath
   *The Other Aftermath
   *Elite
   *Epilogue

There you go... I've told some of these stories here. Over half of them are entirely new and more than 75% of the book is entirely original material that I've never posted anywhere. Even the ones that I have already told here have been expanded upon or entirely re-written because it's the only way to make sense to a new reader picking up the book. There's also a lot more to most of these stories than I really feel like getting into when I write HERE each day. Introspective stuff. Connections to be made to other stories in the book. Or just shit that I entirely forgot about when I originally wrote them. But you get the idea.

Now... can anyone remind me... because I'm blanking... what is the part at the beginning of a book that lists the chapters? Table Of Contents? Or is that only for textbooks? See... this is why I am NOT a literary type. Stupid standard writing guideline bullshit. Fuck that, I'm going to just do it my way and everyone can suck it.

So there we go... that is the book, in a nutshell. Now, accept this appology ahead of time and just remember what might happen next the if you ever hear me say:

Hold My Beer & Watch This