So we've got a fucked up storm coming, right? Hell, if it wasn't for the fact that we totally would have used it to destroy most of the middle east and take their oil a decade ago, I would swear that the timing of this fucking storm right before the election and the forthcoming "amazing response" that's going to happen to fix any of the damage it causes is entirely due to the government using a weather manipulator weapon. Cause that's something that I could totally see them doing at this point. Either the Robot or the flying elephant. Both of them would do it if given the chance. The thing is... like every other weatherman-hyped event in history, people freak out. I can count about 2 times in my lifetime that something has hit with the kind of "devastating effect" that they're expecting from this. Snowpocalypse 2010 and the other snow storm in about 1994 or so. And with each freakout, we get people telling us how to prepare and what to do and all that fun shit.
I just got my "ohholyshitwe'reallgoingtodie" message from Verizon saying that we might lose power and with that goes the phone and internet and tv and all that fun shit. Great, right? I mean... we might lose all that stuff. Understandable. Poles go down with weight from ice or snow or high winds. It happens. What I don't get is that the message effectively says "hey, so this might happen and you might lose internet and if you do, you can't use the internet. So here's links to internet sites that will tell you how to get your internet back if it goes down. So when it goes down and you can't use the internet, click these links on the internet and it'll tell you how to fix your internet."
Fucking really? That's all kinds of helpful. It's like when my IT guys complain that I didn't use the HelpStar internet-based website to log a service request because I can't do anything on the internet. That's like saying "why didn't you call us" when your phone line goes down? Or "well, your tv is out. you need to tune to channel 1 to get info on how to log a service request for getting yout tv fixed".
How much fucking sense does that make?
"So your service broke? Well, you need to use that service to get that service fixed" is the message here.
"But I just told you, that service is broken."
"Huh? It's simple. Just go use the service to fix the service."
"But it's fucking broken!"
"Well, if you would simply use that service, it'll show you how to fix that service, sir"
"But... oh fuck it... "
Is this the laziest fucking way in history to avoid actually fixing shit that breaks?
The lack of logic used by these idiots is amazing.
And while I'm at it... when the fuck did hurricanes become northern problems? I thought that was just the downside of living in the south and avoiding snowstorms and blizzards and ice and shit? That was the penalty for getting all the sun that the North doesn't get. That's the fucking deal. I accept snow and ice and blizzards and lack-of-sunshine for 8 months out of the year and shit. You keep the hurricanes and flying debris and shit in the south. The midwest just gets fucked with tornados. But they also get flat land and better gas mileage as a result. This is the fucking tradeoff. You pick the way weather fucks with you,based on where you life. But weather doesn't get to fucking change the deal. We had a contract, Mother Nature. And fuck you for trying to change the terms now. 
I live in Pittsburgh. We get to deal with mediocre gas mileage due to hills, 70 days of sunshine out of 365, snow, ice, and blizzards, but we don't have the "holy fuck the wind is going to throw my car through the 7-11 go hide in the basement and run for your motherfucking lives mother nature is going to kill us all" bullshit that you get in the south and midwest. I am NOT willing to accept fucking hurricanes when I can't even see a beach without a 6 hour drive, fuckers. This is not the deal. I'm not changing the terms of this fucking contract now, bitch.
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