Just Turn Out The Lights & Exit To The Right - RTOTD #815

Day 815

Cleveland... I lived in you for a little while about a decade ago and while I didn't entirely hate you, I didn't like you very much either. But you really need to go back to bed because I think you might be a little drunk.

I wrote a blog post a little while back about how there must be something in the water up there that makes people go crazy. After the past few years, I am certain of it.

I could go back as far as the Torso Murderer and a few other crazies but just in the past few years, you had that Alt.com serial killer and the creepy fuck that kidnapped those girls and kept them chained up in his house (not in the fun way) for like a decade until that dude was outside eating his magical lucky Big Mac and happened to stumble across them and call the cops. And then today... I checked the news and oh look... another god damned serial killer in Cleveland that killed women.

There's just gotta be something in the water. I know that I felt it maybe a little before I moved out of there and kinda started losing my goddamned mind. Probably took me another year or 2 being away from that place before I started coming back to some semblance of sanity. And the craziest bitch I ever stuck my dick in was from there too. In fact, outside of about 2 people I met while I was there, there wasn't much sanity that I found in that city.

I really think this might be justification for firebombing that city into oblivion. Because it's now reached the point of being endemic of the region. Crazy motherfuckers everywhere. Between that and the Browns and just generally your history of sports loserdom, I really do think you've lost any justifiable rights to remain in existence.

So please, exit to the right and go find a new city. The City of Cleveland has been condemned. It's going to be knocked down next week and then after the scrap is salvaged, we'll just let the Earth reclaim it. Cause ya'll motherfuckers hate women up there. With every one of these crazy fucks, women are the victims. And while I think most of the feminists out there are batshit fucking crazy, how are they NOT screaming for heads to roll up there? Cause I think Cleveland DOES have a war against women going on.