Random Thought Of The Day #475

Day 475

Wow... you know what's weird? I'm pretty sure I suggested the need for a group with JUST that purpose & format a year and a half ago. In fact, I was pretty heavily advocating for it. Look at that? I was right again. This is less than shocking. 

So there's my "told ya so" for the day. Weird how that works, ain't it?

I know, right? I'm don't really have anything else to say on the subject than that.

Off to more fun things... namely... well, actually being proven right yet again is kinda really fun. But I will tear myself away from basking in my own awesomeness long enough to talk about something else.

Like monkeys. I like monkeys. I want a fucking monkey. A helper monkey. Like in that episode of the Simpsons where Homer gets the helper monkey for Abe and then takes it for himself instead. I'd totally train the monkey to steal donuts thru the air ducts at the Dunkin Donuts too. And get me beer.

You know... I think I want to make a national Donut Holiday. But not fucking Krispy Kreme. That shit is awful. I can't stand them & their 17-different kinds of the exact same fucking donut with different color frosting on a glazed donut. They're horrible.

Although, I do need to give them props for creating the most unhealthy, totally American concept food of all time... the Donut Burger. Does anyone else remember this monstrosity?

Burned meat between 2 glazed donuts with fries & bacon.

Not quite on the level of the 3-cheese, bacon-wrapped, deep-fried, chili dog at D's... but kinda getting there.

I know I'm missing something that I saw one time that managed to make even these abominations of food Frankenstein-ing look healthy, but I can't remember it right now...

Yes, I just used Frankenstein as a verb. Fuck you.

But I wish more places came up with these insane concept foods. Because what we really need is a way to make my ass fatter. Now if only I could get a Donut Burger from Dunkin Donuts with a Chocolate Creme Filled on the bottom & a Maple Glazed on the top. Maybe then steal a page from Primanti's book and throw the fries right onto the sandwich? But also add some bacon. A lot of bacon. With bacon mixed inside of the meat before it's grilled too.

I think I got fatter just from thinking about that unholy concoction.

And maybe just a little ill. But only a little.

Oh shut up... I'll still throw Doritos on my sandwich sometimes when I wanna act like I'm 8 again.

I'm done talking about food now. I promise. I'm making myself hungry.