Random Thought Of The Day #725

Day 725

I think I need to start recording the conversations that I have at bars with my friends again. And restaurants. Because I often can't remember how I managed to go from discussing Terminators to Santa Claus in 4 easy steps without a voice recorder. I have one built into my phone, so it's not that hard. I really often don't remember how I even get from one topic to another, or even which all topics I hit in rapid succession like that. It's like a random thought but spoken. I might remember one or 2 of the things I hit, but I don't remember the whole sequence, especially when drinking, and it's a lot funnier if I had the whole thing.

Additionally, there's a good reason for me to record them. Tax deductions.

See, the thing that I've found out about writing and (once I begin) generating income from it is that I am able to write off any expense associated with writing as a "research expense". When I use the events or conversations that come from that dinner or bar trip as material for the book, it's a research expense to generate new material for the next book. If I get into a fight with a tiger, my hospital bills are a tax deduction if I write the story in the next book. If I just go and spend money on strippers and write about that experience in the next book, tax write-off as a research expense. And a voice recorder can be the proof. Plus... you know... reciepts.

I wonder if this means that I can use that abortion that I paid for if I write a story about it? I wonder if I should write a story about it? In fact, I think I might write the story about that. But I don't think I have the reciept for it. Cause come on... tell me it wouldn't be hillarious to not only contribute to some girl using abortion as a form of birth control but then write it off as a tax deduction at the end of the year because you got a story out of it? Yeah... double the fun.

See, I used to regularly record the conversations, exchanges with girls, incoherent ramblings, and other bullshit that my friends and I would talk about. We would only remember about half of it, and want to remember some of the better lines and exchanges later on, so we started recording them. There were a number of truly unforgettable ones that we would have remembered without a voice recorder, but some of other really good ones that were lost in the shuffle of truly exceptional one-liners and exchanges were the gems that a voice recorder preserved for posterity.

I don't know exactly why we stopped using it. Maybe because some of it could have been used as evidence? I don't know. We did some fucked up shit. We talked about even more fucked up shit. And lord only knows what might have been on some of those recordings. But regardless, we stopped  using it after a while.

One example of the conversations that we captured on it that would have otherwise been lost to the flies on the walls of Eat N Park. Somehow the topic ended up on which animals certain former-significant-others resembled, this exchanged occured

Me: "What about you, Rage?"

Rage: "Aubrey... that's simple. A sheep."

*Laughter* [She really did look like a sheep]

Rage: "That's where they get steel wool from, that rigid bitch"

Plus, there's the added benefit of being able to make fun of how people sound on audio recordings. I always love making fun of the sound of my own voice on there. I refuse to believe that I sound like every audio recording of me makes me sound.

In entirely unrelated news, I have an awesome zombie T-shirt design idea. I just need to sketch it out and have it printed. I have also not forgotten about the Epsilon Phi shirts. If you want to order them from CafePress,  you'll pay their little premium, but you can get whatever shirt you want and I don't have to take "orders" or anything. The link is here

Cafe Press Epsilon Phi Design


You know... in case you want to buy one. I have also not forgotten that I am still looking into getting one of the other designs I put together printed by another site, but then I have to collect money and take orders and shit. And that's... you know... work. And I don't wanna do work.