RTOTD #728.1

Day 728.1

Yesterday evening, @Diotima and I were hanging out on the porch and bullshitting, like many nights, when the conversation turned to the types of messages she gets on FetLife. She showed them to me. She read a half dozen to me and they were fucking groan-inducing to an almost nauseating level. Pathetic barely covers it. And the dumpster fire of grammatical mistakes were an indictment of the short-bus level of English language mastery found here by most of you. Sadly, this was the expected part of my disappointment. I knew you were going to get bullshit LULZ txt speak, poor punctuation, and generally kindergarten-level vocabulary.

I shouldn't have been as astounded as I was by the other part, but the level of effort put into a completely unsolicited message that most guys here are the fucking reason that I do NOT send messages to random strangers just because their profile interests me. They were pathetic. None of them were more than 3 sentences long and all of them shared one thing in common... what SHE could do for THEM and not what they could do for each other.

Look, any sort of relationship... from the most mundane and minor "person you kinda know" to the most intimate of relationshiops, and everything in between... they all share one thing in common. They're exchanges. Of energy. Of time. Of interests. They're really a business transaction. When one person gives you their time, you exchange yours for it if you value what comes along with their time. They have to have something to offer YOU in order for you to want to give anything back to them. From time to energy to even conversation.

It's amazing how often people that want something from you immediately try to make that request of you simply because they want it. They don't recognize that they're not even offering anything that that other person might have an interest in on their end of the exchange. And that's sad. That's childish. I mean, really.. it's a dehumanization of the one party into nothing more than the means to achieve their fulfillment. And especially coming from submissive males to a dominant female, isn't that the exact opposite way that it should realistically be approached?

It's because of these types of guys that I don't send messages to people. And that's kinda sad.

I don't make any effort because it's kind of a waste of time for me to sit and write messages to people based on what I see or like in their profile and then offer things about myself that they may like. Not when 99 out of 100 messages they recieve are bullshit requests of them and that 1 gets lost in the shuffle. And with the types of girls that I tend to be interested in, their mailboxes tend to lean more towards the "full" side. And I really REALLY don't have any desire to waste time competing just to get mine read against the tsunami of suck that makes up the rest of their mailboxes. Sorry. Just because they didn't get the notification that I am the awesomest man in the world doesn't mean that I need to go around and personally inform all of the unwashed masses out there of this universal truth. They need to watch the news more often.

I guess I could take the "form letter" approach and see who bites. But then again, do I really have any interest in the types that fall for the "form letter" approach? They probably also are still waiting for their money from that Nigerian prince or the dead British uncle and wondering why they bounced last month's rent check. The form letter is nothing but a fucking resume. And I'm damn sure not applying for any positions with anyone else. That's their job. They get to fill out MY application. Because I'm better than everyone else. Obviously.

I have no objection to competing for attention from girls. Because most of the time, I will win. Or I'll find a way to win. I might not get that girl, but I'll have fun in the process because I don't care about the outcome. I'll either have fun by getting that girl or I'll have fun by amusing myself with jokes or whatever, but that's not really the way the game works on the intarwubz. And I have absolutely no desire to "sell myself" like that just to strike up a conversation with a girl that I'll get bored with in 2 weeks anyway. There's a reason I don't do sales. Because while I could sell ice to an eskimo, and nuclear power to the Japanese, I also have no desire to deal with the endless soul-suck that comes with trying to sell people shit. Myself included.

So that's why I write. I write to amuse myself and because I don't care about the results. That's why I do this. But I also recognize that there's a secondary result of effectively "selling myself" as who I really am and not just what I want people to think by throwing out my thoughts for mass-consumption. I've gotten dozens or hundreds of girls (and a handful of guys) message me or friend me and whatnot just because of writing here. And that's a better and more fulfilling way of "selling myself" to show you what I bring to the table in an exchange that forms any relationship, than any sort of bullshit e-mail or profile "about me" that I could ever write.

I also bet it does better with attracting people than the bullshit form-letters and random poorly-written short "I want you to do this for me" messages that many of you are sending.