The Coin Slot - RTOTD #893

Day 893

2 rows ahead is a big dude cheering for the visiting team. Behind him are  2 20-something ladies not much bigger than my thigh.. ThisOtherJoe & I are enjoying the game but every time the Giants would do anything, this dude stood up & cheer. It's a Steeler game tho, and visiting team fans cheering happens sometimes. No big deal.

Except this dude is apparently fighting a war against the tyrrany of underwear & shirts long enough to extend past his belt line, because his hoodie is 2 sizes too small for his girth. And thus every time he stood, the top half of his ass crack is directly in the face of the 2 rows behind him. This obviously includes me.

None of us much appreciate the view.

With my hands in my pockets to keep them somewhat warm on a rather cool night when I should have probably worn an extra layer, I feel something. Some spare change. I pull it out & make a quick observation: 2 nickels, 2 pennies and a dime.

And thus an idea is born.

The next play, again the Giants convert a 3rd down which the Steelers defense apparently felt that they didn't really want to put in the effort to stop, and the G-Man in blue stands to cheer wildly, again exposing his ass crack to the 4 of us in direct line of sight behind him.

We all boo. Half at the play, and half at the sight staring us in the face.

I tap the lady in front of me on the shoulder, extend my hand & drop a penny into her open palm

"The next time he stands up, drop this in there"

Her eyes go wide & light up as though I had just introduced her to the concept of fire on a cold winter's night. She laughs madly & her friend turns to look at her, searching for the cause of the unexpected outburst. And she shows her the penny. I hand them another penny.

Her friend takes it & after waiting some time for the perfect opening, finally finds it & deftly drops it cleanly into the gap between the G-Man's belt line & the cleavage of his ass cheeks. We all await the response. Surely nobody could have a cold metal disk fall into their pants & not notice it, right?

Wrong. There is zero response. He never even notices it. We wait longer. The 4 of us, and the 2 friends that were with the ladies, but not subject to the same visual assault that we were, all are in on the joke. And after 5 seconds of no reaction, the laughter begins with a small chuckle that quickly turns into a cacaphony. Not a single reaction. And they have more change.

On the list of ways to get hazed by the home-team fans at a sporting event, a few coins dropped down your coinslot because you can't be bothered to wear underwear is hardly any hard-time. It's pretty fucking harmless. You'd be lucky to not get punched at a Flyer's game if you were cheering for the Pens in Philly. But to not even notice you're being hazed by the locals makes it all the better.

Plus, by the end of the night, he'd have enough ass money to buy a gumball or something, right?