Random Thought Of The Day #539

Day 539

Lesson #1. Never ask you motherfuckers for advice on what to do with this stupid blog. You all give me 1 idea and it made my brain hurt to think about because I was on 2 hours of sleep. No No No No No.

That proves one thing. You people never get any other choices ever. Daddy will make them. And I'll give you whatever I feel like here and you'll fucking like it.

You sneeky bastards. That's what you wanted. You wanted me to get pissed off at you and start insulting you fuckers again.

I don't trust you sons of bitches.

If you keep that crap up... I will activate the subliminal suicide code I planted in your a while ago. So behave, children.

Hey... that's a solution to the debt problem. If I active the suicide code in you, that's like... 4 people that won't be around to raise the cost of healthcare further. Leeches.

But hey... who cares... a year from today, we'll all be dead. Or the Zombie apocalypse will have come to be. Or the Mayans will appear from the future and kill us all. or something.

So you should thank me & beg me to initiate it. A suicide code implanted in your subconscious is totally better than fighting off zombie hordes a year from now.

Random Thought Of The Day #538

Day 538

I still can't believe I've been writing this thing for 2 1/2 years now. Do I have the highest number of writings on this stupid site yet? Not the actual blog site... I mean Fet.

There's days like today that I wonder if I'm just an idiot shouting in the darkness about irrelevant shit or if there's an actual reason for this thing.

I mean... I know I'm just blabbering about nothing here half the time. I connect 2 or 3 distinctly different topics that 99% of the planet couldn't give a fuck about, throw in some pictures, manage to tie it into Deadpool somehow & call it a day. But days like today, I'd almost like for it to be dedicated to something. For it to have an actual purpose other than my inane rantings & occasional pokes at feminists, vegans & other crazy cause-heads.

I don't know how to explain it. It's quite liberating to have a place to spread my virus. And it's wildly fun to be able to go off on some stupid topic for 30 minutes & inevitably making myself look somewhere between a genius and the crazy tin-foil-hat man screaming about the CIA & aliens. The mad scientist in me loves that realm of infinite possibilities.

But some days, I'm so devoid of inspiration that I almost wish that this was some kind of journal or topical blog on politics or science or cooking or whatever. Otherwise, it's just a blog about nothing. And what's the point of reading about nothing? That would make it the Seinfeld of blogs. But... You know.... Occasionally funny. Unlike that god awful show.

No.... I'd like to have a standby topic to go to when I have no inspiration for one of my ranting diatribes. Like a standing Plan-B for blogs. Something I can always talk about to an extend.

Or is this my standard plan-b? Some sort of naval-gazing quest for meaning or some lame metaphor for searching for direction in life?

That's not me, is it? Seriously... Cause if it is, I'd like to punch me. I'm not a fan of those people obsessed with their "journey in life". I kinda wanna hit them. I know that life is gonna be a fucking rollercoaster. And I already talk about myself too damn much.

No... I want sort of op-ed type thing I can write on a fairly regular basis. I've written a little about music or movies or tv with pretty much no reaction. So here's what I'm asking...

Give me a topic I can write about somewhat regularly. We're pushing close to a new year & I'd like to give this thing a little bit of direction. What do you suggest? Fuck... I mean... what do you people respond to most? Throw a brother a bone, kids!

I can only talk about my appreciation for girls that look or act like or are sluts or strippers or whatever so much before it gets repetitive.

Hell, anytime you come across something amusing that you would like to hear my thoughts on, just forward it to me too.

In the meantime, I'm gonna just stumble around & search for inspiration to write something here every day until I find that direction.

Random Thought Of The Day #537

Day 537

So... yeah... I was waiting for this one. Some dude actually just got time in the klink for movie piracy. For uploading a single copy of a film to a torrent site. Granted, it was an unfinished bootleg version of a movie that had, at the time, not yet hit theaters, but still... a year in the poke for online movie piracy is kinda ridiculous.

Once again reminding you... watch your ass, kids. Or you might be watching it in the communal showers in county. Cause shit's getting real in their stupid war against... well... at this point? I guess it's against the internet in general.

Just because they won't adjust their distribution model for the ways that consumers actually want to consume media in the 21st century.

Between this and the pust for SOPA, we'll be lucky if there's anything left on the internet by the time they're done. Stock up on your intarwubz porn now, kids. There won't be anything left by the time they're done with it.

And this is also going to turn our court system into a fucking circus. Seriously. There's so many people that are going to be bringing chargers & sueing, so many people that are going to be prosecuted and so many other people that are going to get fined for shit they do all the time...

I mean... I'd be hit for thousands of dollars or worse just for my blog. And I'm not making a penny on this thing (anyone wanna pay me to write this? Please? I'll even make you a sandwich) but the little bit of Deadpool that I post or the random funny shit on here... all of that would be subject to take-down notices or outright deletion of whole blog posts, pages or even the whole blog just for having them up there. Because they're all from piracy under the rules SOPA establishes. And it grants the rights-holders (namely, a shitload of corporations, intellectual property holding companies, production houses and publishers) the ability to just go onto the web and take down EVERYTHING they don't want out there. And they don't even need to prove that they have the right TO take it down.

I'm waiting to get sued by DC for having some Deadpool up here at that rate. (Hint: Deadpool is owned by Marvel which is owned by ABC/Disney. DC is owned by Time-Warner... they're not the same.)

Oh well... I'm just kinda preparing for a future where you can find nothing but social networking (without anything but drunk party pics or artsy nature photos), the mainstream media & a shitload of pay-for-any-content sites. And a youtube filled with stupid cat videos. It'll suck. And be boring as shit.

Random Thought Of The Day #536

Day 536

I'm sorry. I'm changing this blog post. I spoke entirely out of turn. I brought uop something that was entirely inappropriate of me to even mention. And it upset people that I care a great deal about. That was not my intention. This was just my way of venting frustration over being helpless to fix something when fixing things is what I do.

So I apologize whole-heartedly for that. I'm very sorry. It wasn't my place to even say antyhing in any sort of public forum or even get involved.

I don't even know if I should keep the rest of this blog post here or if I should kill the whole thing today.

:-(


Really wanted a part in House Party 4

But hey... Kiim Jong Il is dead. So that's kinda cool.
I really got nothing else on that topic. Just saying. That guy was kinda funny. So other than the whole "having the controls of a military force" thing, it would have been great if he just hung around and acted crazy for a while longer. He's like the Will Farrell of the psychotic marxists that run a joke of a country and have delusions of grandeur. Best in small doses and really fucking obnoxious when he's too exposed.

I bet that paranoid fat bastard had all kinds of cool secret rooms and shit.

I've always been a little kid at heart with things like "secret passages" and "hidden rooms" and shit. I mean... I always wanted one of those secret bookshelf doors that would expose a hidden room when you pulled one one particular book. Or like... a panic room. Or those secret underground passage ways from CLUE. Do you remember what I'm talking about? The board game & the movie. You'd go and spin the one painting around & *poof*... you're in some random tunnel that took you to another entire area of the house by way of the pool house & some hidden part of the basement that's behind the main walls.

I always loved that shit.

Actually... I kinda got that already a little bit with my house. All the built-in storage. And the secret passage way in my bedroom that's not really all that secret but just kinda cool but could totally be made secret if I wanted to with a little work. Maybe after I finish the 7000 other projects that need done first.

Random Thought Of The Day #535

Day 535

Dude... Obama got fucking OLD really fast. Guy looks like he aged 20 years in the past 3.

Let's do him a favor and let him keep a little of his youthful looks and vote him out.

Granted... there's nobody on the other side that's worth a damn. But that makes it a great time to get my dog elected.

Let's write him onto the ballot. I don't care which party. He's very nom-partisan. As in, partisan to whoever provides the noms. (That was groan inducing even writing it)

So yes... he will readily admit that he can be bribed with food. At least he'll be honest.

I wish I didn't suck at photoshop or I'd totally do the red/white/blue Obama HOPE style poster that everyone has copied for everything with my dog on it.

So what's his campaign slogan? Hope & Change & "yes we can" were done (or rather... changed to "guess he can't") and I don't even remember what Bush ran on ... "Let's go kill some arabs"? I don't know.

Maybe "I did not have leg-humping relations with that woman"? (There's your Clinton reference for the... well, hopefully forever) How's that one sound?

Or we can vote for some kinky bastard in and instead of "Hope & Change" we can go with "Rope & Chains"? Somebody in a latex bodysuit out of American Horror Story or something?

I'm just thinking out loud again. I give up. This is the best you'll get today.

Random Thought Of The Day #534

Day 534

I think I'm being paranoid. I've had this really really bad feeling that something really bad is going to happen for the past few days.

So as I've mentioned a couple times recently... using software to anonymize your IP is wildly helpful. For a lot of reasons. Not the least of which being that I don't want every single thing I do to be logged on some ISP database. They don't need to know my shopping habits or what movies I'm waiting to be released. They don't need to know how often I check into Fet. Or what news stories I'm reading. Or if I'm doing it from my laptop or my phone.

But the thing is... shortly after I began using it, my laptop started getting wonky. It was already kind of a piece of crap, but it was eating more processor than the little bit of stuff that I was telling it to do should have required. Then... headcrash on the hard drive. I tried for a few days to fix it & get it running again before ripping the whole machine apart & also finding that my motherboard was shot too. So I trashed it. I don't throw away hard drives though. I smash them. I have my tax records on there. My banking information. My passwords. Personal information. And even with a headcrash, someone with the know-how can retrieve the info.

So out comes the sledgehammer. Take the machine apart. Rip out the guts. And smash them to bits. Basic information safety stuff.

But somehow I feel like maybe something was going on in my system that wasn't supposed to be. Like running anonymizing software opened me up to host or play an endpoint for someone else doing things. I don't know.

Throw that on top of changing my wifi password a few weeks ago becuase I KNOW that I had a network intrusion with someone using it to run a torrent client & I think my paranoia is mildly justified. Something just kinda "feels wrong" right now.

I don't know. I'm just being paranoid, I think.

I think that the mild paranoia about that mixed with my usual unease around my birthday & the holidays is probably not doing me any favors. So if I seem a little off for the next few days or so... don't mind me.

Random Thought Of The Day #533

Day 533

Is there still a World's Fair?

This popped into my head a few weeks ago and I forgot to ask. I don't think there is, right? When did it stop? Why?

I think someone needs to bring back the World's Fair. Though I have a feeling that it would turn into a Best Buy display setup. And nothing that's really mind-blowing.

That's pretty  much the best you're gonna get today.

Thanks to everyone who came to the party on Saturday. Your worship will be remembered.

And those of you that did not attend... your failure to pay tribute to the ScienceJesus will also not be forgotten when I bring forth the armageddon.

And it will be led by Mortimer. The Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse.

Because 4 Horsemen has been done to death. YOU all expect 4 people on horses. I give you 1 gigantic mantis.With the name of an old jewish man. Because nobody has been named Mortimer in like 40 years.

Maybe that was the Giant Weta from last week. He might be the harbinger of war, famine, pestilence & death.

Or maybe it was just a really big fucking bug.

Random Thought Of The Day #532

Day 532

You know... I always wonder about the origins of certain things.



Hehehe... retarded panda.



Coffee being a major one.

Who thought "hey, you know what we should do? We should crush these beans here and then run water through them at high temperatures."? Who came up with that idea? WHY did they come up with that idea? Was it just an accident where they felt caffeine for the first time and thought "holy shit, this stuff is awesome!" after accidentally drinking coffee bean contaminated water?

Wasn't that kinda what happened to discover alcohol? Fermentation happened with some grain and water getting mixed together & whatnot?

But really... it can't be like someone was really thinking "hey, you know what we should do? We should find which beans we can crush up and pour boiling water thru to see if they make us stay awake longer.", right? Cause that's like fucking alchemy for tiredness.



WTF IS THIS WHEEL FOR??? Alchemy is weird.

 Did coffee beans actually serve any other purpose than just kinda sitting there? Did we eat them before we figured out the whole beverage version of it thing?

Now that I mention alchemy though... so are we going to have to wait for pico-bots before we figure out how to actually turn lead into gold? Or can nano-bots do it? I think they're still too big to work on the atomic level. They're golden for working on the molecular level, but the subatomic particles might need pico-bots.

You'd figure that we already know how to do a shitloat of other stuff with chemistry and changing atoms of this into that, that we'd have figured out how to turn lead into gold... or pretty much anything else we want by now. We've straight-up BUILT a bunch of elements already... is converting a specific one into another specific one still beyond our abilities? Or are we just not trying anymore cause it'll tank the gold market & then we'd be really REALLY fucked?

Just thinking out loud... errrr... quietly but through my fingertips?

We really need to think of new turn of phrases for the intarwubz age. Cause the old ones don't really apply a lot of times when we can ramble to thousands of people without opening our mouths once. "Thinking out loud" isn't really accurate if the person ingesting your words is not in your presences and you're not making any noise other than keyboard clicks.

And since we have lip-readers in the deaf community... can we have keyboard-click-hear-ers in the blind community? Like intarwubz-braille. And how do blind people remember where they were if they lose their place in a book?

 

I think I'm done now. That was far too much random pondering of stupid shit.

 

 

 

RTOTD #531.1

Day 531.1

Hey... guess what? Putin rigged the election in Russia.

Frankly, I'm shocked. Really. I am. I mean... a guy that came to power by working his way up thru the KGB doing things that are unethical & anti-democratic? NEVER!

In other breaking news... Scientists have proven that water is still wet.  Unless it's in the EU. Then you can't say that water hydrates you. It's against the law. Cause a judge said so.

Proof that we all need fucking bunkers. I'm praying for the Zombie apocalypse or mutant invaders from the sewers. I think we have a better chance at surviving that than the idiots in charge. I think we can just kill the Morlocks. Not really an option for the idiots in charge.

Random Thought Of The Day #531

Day 531

Heh... You know... I think I need a .xxx domain name.

I have no idea why. I have no idea what I'd use it for. I have no idea who in the fuck would search for it.

I do know that "the.sciencejesus.xxx" would be kind of an awesome site. And that there will not be any porn that involves my fat ass.

But that involves paying for things on the internet. And I hate doing that.

On that note, I'm going to make one change to yesterday's RTOTD. Not ALL of the "Occupy" people are idiots. I'm pro-#OccupyIntarwubz. And as someone else proved, they're pro-#OccupyFrontLawn. By snowmen. In a scene directly out of Calvin & Hobbes. Because Calvin & Hobbes are fucking awesome.

That's what we need more of. We need more Calvin & Hobbes. Did the guy that did that die? My brain is kinda fried at the moment & I can't remember.

Speaking of comics though... I really want to start picking some stuff up again. I just don't know if I can justify spending the money at this point though. Which sucks. Hard.

Maybe if there was just MOAR DEADPOOL!