Thursday, January 31, 2013

Old School - RTOTD #784

Day 784

I get a lot of nostalgia. This is no shock to anyone. Nor should it be...

But since I was a kid, I always wanted an arcade game in my house. Like a full cabinet unit. I kinda wanted the X-Men game. Or the original TMNT game. Or maybe even Street Fighter Alpha II. They were just ungodly expensive. At least in my frame of reference.

Now I'm an adult. Now I own my own house. Now I can do whatever the fuck I want & can afford to do.

I have started putting together the list of shit that I've always wanted to have in my house. And sooner or later, it's going to be here.

A stripper pole. I've been meaning to do this and haven't found the one I want at a reasonable price. They're crazy overpriced for what they are. They should cost, at most, 1/3 of what they do. The pole is only like $10-20 in actual metal price. And the brackets might cost $25-30 to fabricate. Yet they charge up to $800 for a decent one. Plus... come on... do you know how many girls will want to try the stripper pole at parties or just come over to practice?? Yeah... Exactly.

A projector. Like one of the TV projectors. I kinda always wanted one. They were just cool.

A hidden room. Because fuck you, I want a secret hidden clubhouse to hide in and nobody can find me. If I could, I'd build a house where ALL of the rooms were hidden but that might be a little impractical.

A dedicated comic book closet with drawers just filled with my comics that I can pull out. This might just require some remodeling or repurposing of my existing built-in cabinets.

A gigantic walk-in safe. Because come on, who doesn't want a gigantic safe???

An arcade cabinet... But maybe one that has a bunch of games cause computers are awesome and can do crazy shit now with emulating old-school video games.

And a pinball machine. Because I'm really just a bearded 9 year old.

What about you? What was that thing you wanted to have in your house when you were a kid but couldn't so you swear to yourself that you're eventually gonna have it when you're an adult?

Even if we never really grow up.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Not Far Enough - RTOTD #783

Day 783

I think that maybe some people don't really have a good grip on what is and isn't taboo. I'm not talking taboo to vanilla people. That's pretty much everything on all of our fetish lists. It's the reason we're on FetLife and not fucking around with these groups on Facebook or some boring vanilla website.

No, I think we need to really start going balls out here. And start charting new fucking territory.

Yeah, I know. Pretty much everything you could do with someone or yourself has already been done,  and none of us are going to find fucking America, but I have a challenge for all of you:

It's simple. Try to find something totally new to you in the next 3 months that you really dig. Start experimenting with shit that you might initially think "eh, I don't know if that really sounds that fun" and see where it takes you. I think we're all starting to get into a bit of a rut. And I'm not talking about just something that you see at a class at some event. I mean sit down and think of all the crazy bullshit you could do and then try to figure out how to push a boundary.

I think I know how I am going to do it. And it's going to push a lot of them if I can work out HOW to do it without dying, someone to do it with me, when and where to do it, and to be perfectly honest... the guts to do it.

Crucifixion.

I'm not just talking some simple shit where I would let myself get tied to a cross. I'm talking motherfucking spikes through my wrists.

But that's something I'm not sure I can actually go through with. Or if it's really pushing things how I want. So I'm going to think on it. And then I'll come up with something that might be completely insane that I want to do that I'm not risking death to pull off. Or just doing for shock value. I want to see if I can find something that is really crazy but I'll totally dig after doing it. Something that I'll do once and want to do again and again.

But something that is still outside of the basics that we're all doing. Something challenging and taboo and shit. That's the same thing I'm challenging you to do. Not just something different "for you"... something really out there.

Body painting with chickens blood?

Waterboarding?

Furry bestiality?

Dark Age Play?

Non-Consensual Diesel Fire-Play?

24-style interrogation scenes complete with loaded guns, knives, a hacksaw, and the occasional broken digit while Jack Bauer screams about where the bomb is and who you're working for?

Deep-tissue Neutron Radiation Exposure Play?

Getting shot in the eyes over and over with those red barcode scanners from the grocery store?

Sex in the dark with only your significant other while whispering so the kids don't hear you and only in missionary position for the rest of your life?

Whatever it is you come up with that is taboo... I want you to find something taboo that pushes lines for you and that you might not be entirely sure you're comfortable having done once you've done it, but you still have a craving to do it again? That's what I'm challenging you to find. And it's what I'm challenging myself to find as well.

And if you feel conflicted and embarassed at liking it, and a little guilty but still want to do it over and over again when you're done? Then you know you've found it.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Taboo - RTOTD #782

Day 782

By and large, my kinks are fairly pedestrian when compared to some others that I've seen on here. I generally prefer a lot of the basics. Rope & floggers, punching & resistance, rough & raw sex, and a few others. I've discussed my preferences for slutty over sexy, and trashy over beautiful in the past. I won't really get into that. My bimbofication kink is something that I've talked about a little too often recently and you can always go through my writings of the past month or so and find that, if you so care to read it.

Instead, I think I'll take this opportunity to talk about some of my more taboo kinks, even if they pale in comparison to those of some that reply below. Feel free to do so and discuss your own, if you'd like. I wanted to take today to open the discussion not to just the basic daily praise of my awesomeness, but to make this an open forum to discuss some of your kinks that maybe you don't feel comfortable discussing in open forums elsewhere. Mostly because I don't delete comments or topics that I might not be comfortable with, or that someone else gets their panties in a wad about.

So I'll volunteer to go first. Because fuck you, I'm awesome and don't mind being the first one to walk around with no pants on.

Actually... I'm going to kinda go first. I say "kinda" because I don't really have anything terribly taboo in my brain that is wildly out there. So instead, I'm going to discuss a couple of my most taboo kinks, even if they're not all that super-amazingly-taboo.

First one is probably the most tame of the 3 most taboo that I have.

It's a weird thing that I have. Girls in heels. Considering that I HATE feet and think they're gross. Not the "oh that's gross, I kinda wanna do it" kinda gross. I mean like "oh fuck you and die" gross. I never understood the feet thing. I mean, if that's your thing, awesome. But I just don't get it.

However, I have a thing for girls in heels. I think this probably connects back to my bimbo/slutty kink, because of the connections with porn whores and strippers. It probably also has something to do with the impracticality of heels for anything other than aesthetic purposes. I mean, you can't tell me that anyone is going to run faster or me more sure-footed when walking on ice while wearing heels. I mean, maybe if they're really motherfucking sharp and you can stab them into things for traction. But still... when they start making high-heeled cleats for girls soccer or field hockey teams, then I'll believe that there's a practical purpose for heels other than to make a girl a little taller, and to change her posture to make her legs look longer and to put her ass and tits on better display. And well, I don't see them making golf spike heels anytime soon that aren't solely for photo shoots. When a professional women's golfer starts wearing them for the LPGA Championship and wins it, then I'll bite.

But for some reason, it's only girls in stripper heels. I KNOW that this part has to do with my subconscious mental affiliations between girls in stripper heels and my propensity to be attracted towards slutty girls. Non-stripper-y heels on girls do nothing. Yeah, sure. They change your posture and everything too... but for some reason, they don't have the same turn-on factor for me.

So I guess I kind of have a high heel kink while having a foot repulsion? I don't know. I'm weird.

The next kink I wanted to talk about was body modification.

I'm an artist at heart. I've drawn and painted and sculpted and both wrote and performed music since I was 5. I've written more here than anywhere else, and I've written one book so far, with a few more on the distant horizon (mostly when I can get the energy to once again go through the marathon that is writing a book) and have scripted and drawn at least parts or large chunks of at least 3 potentially-long-form comic series. I've put the puzzle pieces together to potentially build a shared-superhero-comics universe that has its own secret history and aliens and mystical crap and everything else that goes along with the 20th and 21st century superhero comics. And that's excluding the half-dozen plotted non-superhero comics that I've come up with as well. I see the art in most things and the aesthetics that make things appealing. From cars to comics, ink to interior design, painting to piercing, and stereos to sculpture. There's a beauty in design that nearly rivals function.

Form and function are always curiously placed as opposing forces when I often see them as serving each other quite well. You want something to server a purpose; a function. But the thing is, you also have to often LOOK at the thing that is doing that job. And therefore, it should be something that you want to look at too. Something unique and cool and pretty and original.

I've written along these lines before in Body Mod forums and I'll rehash it here. Body Mod is really no different than any sort of other customization that we do.

We're born with our bodies and generally, with a few small details, they're pretty much the same. You certainly have size differences, skin tone differences, hair color differences, and all the rest. But really, almost all human bodies are generally pretty similar to one another. And you can look at it as a Phenomenal vs Noumenal Kant-like philosophical question. The concept of a chair is always the same even if this chair and that chair look different from each other. But you can also compare the human body to automobiles. And that's the way that I like to look at it.

The comparison is quite apt. We both are run on an engine that needs fueled and while we come in different colors and sizes and shapes, we're all pretty much the same. Some of us are blessed with better skin or hair, some cars are built with better upholstery or  quality paint for durability. Some of us are more athletic or smarter, in the same ways that different cars might be better designed to drive a street race track or filled with all the tech that makes driving more comfortable. Whatever those differences, they're represented in the automobile analogy.

But see... body mod is actually in the exact same spirit as automobile enthusiasts around the world. We're all about customizing. Yeah, the factory specs on the car might be fucking great. But that doesn't mean we can't make it ours and unique from any of the 25,000 other virtually identical cars in that production run. We might have bought the unique color or the super-deluxe packages, but so did a thousand other people. No, what we want is to make it one-of-a-kind. And that's when you get into the custom car people. That's who us BodyMod people are. We're the custom car enthusiasts of the human body. We want to design and build and mix and match from both totally original concepts and after-market production parts. We won't be the first person to roll the fenders to accommodate the 3" drop and 8" wide wheels and tires and we won't be the person to do a set of nipple rings either. We won't be the first person to airbrush a whole piece that stretches from half way down the driver's door to the rear fender and wraps around to match the symmetrical design on the other side before meeting for a whole new merger of designs that covers the whole trunk of the car and we won't be the first person to do a set of sleeves that meet at the shoulders and merge into a huge back piece.

We won't be the first to do any of that. But what we will be is the one that designs how all of the individual pieces go into it and where they fit and how they fit. We'll pick the colors for the paint or ink. The types of metals for the trim or piercings. The body kits or surgical procedures to change all the lines or how they body shape works.

And we do it all with an eye towards a final finished product that is totally unique and original, personal and deliberate, that emphasizes the parts most beautiful parts and washes away the flaws or inadequacies that you see in the original factory-issue design.

The best thing about heavy BodyMod is that sometimes you're the owner, sometimes you're the car, and sometimes you're a Transformer and can be both. And there's you random 80's nostalgia reference thrown in for a joke.

The final taboo kink that I really enjoy and wanted to mention here is watersports.

To some, it's as normal as kissing, and to others, it's equated with scat play. There's no line for some people and they can't see that one. One can't engage in one while still being disgusted by the other, in the eyes of some. It's edgy. And taboo.

Honestly, this is probably the only kink I have on my list that I would legitimately call "taboo" just because there are so many that reject it outright. It's terribly niche and it conjures up bile in many. In the same way that eating a chocolate bar while sitting on the toilet does for well... anyone that isn't into that kinda brown thing in your mouth stuff. And I figure, if it makes some people sick to their stomach to even think about, then it's probably fairly taboo.

I mean, I know that furries make me feel a little nauseous. Mascot fucking.

But to me, it's a turn on because it's a form of edge play that really only have a very very dull edge. The psychological edge is far sharper than the physical side. And I think maybe that's the side of it that I really get turned on by. The unconscious concept of ingesting any form of waste is the edge here. Even if it's not really waste as much as excess. Unless you're actually ill. Then all of this is thrown out the window and it's just not healthy at all and right into the same physical edge play as it is psychological.

I'm not sure what else I can really say about it though. It's an edge play that isn't an edge play because it lacks the fundamental physical risk that is really required to be categorized as actual edge play, while still striking the same psychological triggers that edge play normally does. So it's kind of a best-of-both-worlds situation where I can still get the emotional and psychological reaction that I'm looking to achieve out of a partner, while not really risking their physical well-being in the process.

So there you go... there's a few thousand words on taboo kinks. And I really hope that other people will chime in on some of their taboo kinks and what it is about them that they enjoy or even as just use today's column as an excuse to admit out-loud (or as loud as your interwubz box key-strokes are) as to some of their taboo kinks.

I kinda wish mine weren't so pedestrial and boring, to be honest.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Outside - RTOTD #781

Day 781

The more time that passes, the more I'm feeling the mixed bag that comes with not being involved with the "community-proper". Not when it comes to missing anything that it really provides, as much as just being able to comment on the goings-on and bullshit politics of it.

Now, while that's probably nice to some extent, it also makes this column kinda boring at times. There are days where I kinda almost wish I could see the childish crap that I still hear about, just so I could make fun of it and comment on. And then there's a lot more days where I'm so fucking happy to not have to watch the bickering, politicking, whining, tantrum-throwing that is far-too-prevalent.


I kinda want this thing to be more kink-relevant at times. I want to sometimes comment on the goings-on of the community. Except I can't actually bring myself to be involved anymore. Is that strange?

So how about this... what non-community-related kink topics would you like to hear thoughts on? I kinda want to start using this column for more kinky topics of conversation, but I really don't know what you want to read at this point. At least when it comes to kink.

Maybe I'm just hitting a spell of writer's block. I haven't even been working on the Bimbo Project blog on Tumblr either. Which is something that I REALLY want to devote more time to.

So let's hear it. What kinky topics would you like to discuss?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Congrats, Ladies - RTOTD #780.1

Day 780.1

You're now allowed to serve in active duty on the battlefield with men.

Hell, I always thought it was a little sexist that the women weren't allowed to go out and die with the men. But I don't wanna hear anything when you break a nail or don't have time to do your makeup before an attack.

Hopefully, you and your uniform look like this, because it would totally be a distraction to the enemy and let our men go out and kill them:



Mmmmmmmm - RTOTD #780

Day 780

If Mila Kunis ends up doing the 50 Shades of my asshole movie, I might actually watch it. Mostly in the hopes that I get to see her naked.

Because fuck you, it's Mila Kunis. And holy sweet jesus is she hot. And this is coming from someone who NEVER thinks the celebrity actress types are hot. You know... cause the whorish porn sluts are more my flavor.

But yeah... I would actually maybe pay money to see a movie about that abomination of a book if it had Mila Kunis in it. She never looks un-hot. Seriously. Even when she's not wearing makeup, she's still hot. How does that even happen?





On an entirely unrelated note... I really want a tank.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Growing HATE - RTOTD #779

Day 779

Because I don't find a way to confuse you fuckers often enough, after some discussion with @CarmelizedGinger, I realized that HATE needed to grow.

For those of you that aren't local or are just readers that don't really know me, HATE is the annual UnValentine's Day party that I came up with last year and my roomies and I throw. I know it's kinda cliche to throw an anti-valentine's day party because fuck Hallmark, but it's still fun. And while I'm certainly a contrarian to the Nth degree, sometimes doing something cliche is just plain easier.

Long story short was that last year was the innaugural HATE party. It was killer. And we wanted to do it again. The problem was that the weekend before, there was already a birthday party scheduled that a number of my friends had already planned on going to. So I was left with the weekend after.

That's when it got complicated. I powered up the laptop and was about to get to making the event on Fet when I see that not 15 minutes prior, another birthday party had been scheduled. For the same night that I wanted to throw HATE. I was bummed.

After a little discussion, we decided that they could host HATE this year. We would combine the birthday party with the HATE party and hold them together at the same venue. A party within a party, if you will.

The problem was that we didn't anticipate the kind of interest that HATE had. Everyone that wasn't already going to Winter Fire in DC wanted to come. Ruh Roh! We were going to need to turn people away. And well, that's just generally not my style. When I throw a party, I want to go big. I always want to go big. Bigger than last time. Bigger than what other people do. Just. Plain. Big.

So while the idea of turning some people away and scaling back HATE was really the only option because of space requirements, I came up with a better solution. Make it BIGGER. Don't mess with the plans for Saturday night, but fuck it... we have a whole WEEKEND to spread and celebrated HATE.

So the solution was actually pretty simple. Make it into a whole weekend-long event. But split the venues up. One party Friday. One party Saturday. Keep the Saturday plans the same and limit how many people could come, but throw ANOTHER party on Friday to get the HATE started sooner. And my roomies & I would handle hosting duties for the Friday portion of the party.

Now, let's just see how many people can figure this shit out without getting it fucked up and going to the wrong place on the wrong night.

So let this be a lesson to you when you want to throw a party or event

There are no obstacles, only challenges.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Your Kinks - RTOTD #778

Day 778

Last week I kinda started getting a little self-indulgent and started examining my "hierarchy of kinks". As you probably (read: should have. Because everything I write is pure gold and it makes your life better) read, my bimbofication kink has kinda started to supersede almost all of my other ones at this point. But that begs the question...

What are YOUR biggest kinks? Like, what is the ONE kink that is just always at the top of your list?

Ready? Go.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Goodbye, Pacman! - RTOTD #777

Day 777

Atari is now bankrupt. I wonder how much it would cost to buy? I mean, I would license the shit out of some Space Invaders.

Wait... does Atari even have any actual rights over anything? They just built the consoles and hardware right? Did they ever make any of their own games? I don't remember. And now that I think of it, I don't know if I really care that much.

But since I'm already on the topic of vintage video games... what was your favorite Mike Tyson's Punch Out characters?

I was always a fan of Soda Popinski.

Although Bald Bill (which I totally always thought was Bald Bull until I started looking for a picture of him and a couple websites called him Bald Bill) had this awesome gay leatherman thing going for him that I totally just realized right now as I was in the process of writing this.

I kinda wanna go play some old-school Punch Out now.

And I was always a little bummed that Super Macho Man wasn't actually the Macho Man Randy Savage wearing boxing gloves and fruity neon colored tassles and those vent-sunglasses things while yelling about Slim Jims and looking like he was about to rupture his hernia or take a massive shit right there on screen. Cause tell me it wouldn't have been totally better to have the ACTUAL Macho Man as the Champion in the video game.

How the fuck did they NOT get sued for that shit? You'd'a thought that Randy Savage would probably have had that named trademarked and copyrighted everywhere. Apparently not thought.